Have no idea how to start this conversation

[EPett]

I can't stop drinking. I try, but it doesn't work. My parents are both gone, 2 brothers are gone, one from Cancer and the other from suicide. 2 sisters that are irrational and don't care, 1 brother that drops so many pills he thinks he is the normal one.. Another brother that thinks socializing is drinking.. where do I go from here.

I made a mistake and threw in a job and let go of my life. I was always in control even though I was drinking every day.

How did I let my life get like this

[quirkywords]

EPett welcome to he forum and I am sorry you are struggling.

Do you find that the drink fills the loneliness you feel? It is hard when the people you hope will support you have their own problems or they seem not to care.

I am glad you have reached out to share your story.

There is a thread

Forums / Long term support over the journey / Battling the booze

that you may find a helpful place to read others posts and to ask questions.

Quirky

[Forward_only]

Hi EPett !

I'm sorry to hear your family history, but had to smile at your last question...one I've asked myself although my situation is different. Do we "let" our lives happen,? Or do we live our lives according to what's happening and how we are hardwired to deal with it and make decisions at the time? I've got a twisted way of looking at it, but did you sit down one day and say I'm going to do this because I want my life to be hard? I doubt it ! I'm trying to move forward by living in the now instead of the past. I can't go back and change the past, but I can try to use the past to know how to make decisions to move forward. I don't know much about drinking problems but I guess there's similarities to smoking tobacco so in a way I get that side of things. Let me know something that makes you smile...it helps ! Just getting sidetracked about that, I know what makes my dog smile...when I ask him if he wants a lambstrip lol hang in there please...

[Tigergirl]

Hullo..I had to laugh at that bit where u said that ur brother who takes so many pills thinks he's the normal one! I so relate to that. My brother who smokes dope n drinks so much and is violently abusive towards the whole family yet thinks he's the normal one and WE ARE THE PROBLEM...denial is such a beautiful thing for those in active addiction!! What a shock to the system when they wake up!!

[quirkywords]

Tigergirl

Thanks for your first post and welcome to the forum.

yes I know people who called me crazy when they were in denial about their problems. I think it shows awareness to know you have problems and need help.

Quirky

[Hayds]

Hi & upfront I’m in long term alcoholism & addiction recovery so personally I get it. It will kill you.... period. Nil discrimination, nil agenda, nil bias: unchecked alcoholism & addiction (active) is insidious & fatal. There is no ‘easy softer way.....’ with genuine love & compassion I hope you find abstinence. I’ve lost 14 recovery friends already (I’m 44) & I wouldn’t wish addiction upon my worst enemy. Seek intervention (detox & one day at a time try your best with faith that eventually, the demon in the bottle/drugs will ease off the corrosive ‘compulsion obsession dis-ease’ & I hope you find sustainable recovery. I relapsed about 40-50times over 9 yrs before and got clean.... others are much luckier & grab clean living as soon as they hit their initial 12steps first meeting. 🙏

[geoff]

Hello EPett, thanks for your comment and I'm sorry that this has happened to you, and as Hayds says it's not easy and I also appreciate the other comments made by those above me as well.

For me, alcoholism developed because I was depressed and it destroyed my work as well as my marriage so I understand how you are feeling, now, fortunately, I only drink socially and I feel so much for you.

Am I able to get back to you if that's OK because I too really want to help you through this and I have bookmarked your post.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[EPett]

Hello and thank you to everyone who posted here. I really appreciate you telling me about your experiences and responding to mine. I had an alcoholic father who was abusive to my mother. I should know better than to drink but I have to be honest, at times it takes the edge off the loneliness. Its when I drink alone it becomes a really big problem. I tend to remember the bad instead of the good things in life which leads to more drinking. I am out there looking for work, but moving to another state every interview I have had (which totals 3 in 5 months) they ask why I left my last job and why have I moved to another state. Me being me I tell them the truth and leads to not getting the job, even though my skills and experience are extensive. I guess I joined here to find friends and other people that may be in a similar situation. I got stuck into the booze again yesterday and still feel like drinking. I don't go to bars, only bottle shops, I find bars to be depressing.. Thanks in advance for reading..

[EPett]

Hi Tigergirl,

Yep the medication he is taking (god knows how the doctor that is prescribing to him is still in practice) plus the alcohol is a major problem. He is abusive and pretends to forget what he has said and done. He has a partner that just goes along with it and forgives him. I have moved into a very unstable house and due to not having a job at the moment, I am trapped. I am sad you are going through the same with your bro. It is very toxic living here, hence why I drink. I have to sneak it into my room, how pathetic is that!

[EPett]

Hello Forward only, thanks for your post, it made me smile. Yes I have a kitty kat I adopted from Pet Haven. She took a while to warm up to me, but now she is my little ray of light. She makes me smile and don't know what I would do without her. I hope you are doing ok 🙂