I am 14 years old and I have been through more than any teen ever
should. It began with my awful parents, who verbally abuse me and have
told me my whole life I am not good enough. They lecture me and shout at
me, and today only an hour ago my dad pu...
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I am 14 years old and I have been through more than any teen ever
should. It began with my awful parents, who verbally abuse me and have
told me my whole life I am not good enough. They lecture me and shout at
me, and today only an hour ago my dad put hands on me and hurt me and
now I am a bit scared. Everything began to fall apart when I was 11
years old. My parents had told me I was not good enough, and I had had
enough. I lost the will to live and at just aged 11, one day after
school I made a suicide attempt. I didn't go through with it as you can
tell, and I have regretted it every moment since. But it cannot be
undone, and the ramifications are ongoing, ranging from anxiety and
panic attacks to depression to confidence issues to trust issues and
even to the feeling of numbness and emptiness I feel every day when I
get home or when I have even a moment to think. And I don't know what to
do. I saw a counsellor and I made her cry with all the issues and crap I
was going through, and yet my parents don't care. They think mental
health only exists for depressed teenage girls who struggle with social
media, and that suicide is selfish and lazy and wrong because it hurts
the person's friends and family, not once thinking about the person. I
never outright told the counsellor about the suicide, but she kind of
knew, and so said to me that sometimes last resorts can become our last
resorts multiple times in our lifetimes, and she said there is a chance
that I made resort to my last resort again since the conditions and
causes have remained constant and only worsened. I don't think I am
strong enough to deal with another suicide attempt alone (since I
haven't told anyone or gotten help in 3 years), so if there is a second
there may possibly be a third, and I am worried that might not just be
an attempt. However, at this moment, I would never commit suicide, and I
am holding out for my 18th when I can leave and never speak to them
again. I know none of you can physically help me, or even come in here
and stop my dad from all the verbal and increasing physical abuse, and
that's ok because I have learnt to fend for myself, but it would be nice
to know someone else out there cares and that there are good people in
the world. Please reply to this with kind words, because those are
increasingly scarce in my life, and I need someone to help me feel good
about myself and about life again.
PTSD for Medical and First Responders
