UPDATED: Dealing with my partner's anxiety. Just want to talk

[Belthizor]

Hi all, I'm new here, my name is Sheldon and basically I just want to talk to others about how to deal with my partner's anxiety. For the past couple of months, she has been having anxiety-related issues, but only very recently have these issues intensified. In the past two days we have been to the ED twice, Seen the Doctor twice and been to see her psychologist. The attacks are getting worse, and I am really worried for her. She has even been having suicidal thoughts. This of course worries me even more, but I feel that I have to stay strong for her sake. I love her very dearly and it just breaks my heart to see her so upset. She's crying, has involuntary hand movements, feeling nauseous and has even physically thrown up. She has recently been prescribed a benzodiazaprene and tomorrow we will be going to the doctors to review her current anti-depressant medication. I love her with all my heart and I don't ever want to lose her. While we are doing everything we can to address these issues, it's still hard - especially for me, and I would love someone to talk to who has been through this, or even just someone willing to bend an ear but not judge. This girl is my whole world and without her... I don't know what I'd do.

 Thanks for listening, I know I rambled on a bit, but I do that.

[Belthizor]

Hey Paul,

No worries. The 5,4,3,2,1 method is (when having an anxiety attack or if you feel an attack coming):

Find 5 things you can See

Find 4 things you can Touch

Find 3 things you can Hear

Find 2 things you can Smell (or like the smell of)

and Take one, long, deep breath (for 4 seconds).

At least that's the one we have. There are several variations of this method, but it's supposed to reset your autonomic breathing or something.

[CMF]

Hi Sheldon/Blondguy,

Jump on You tube and look up Dr Robert Peers. He is a Dr who has done extensive research on anixiety/depression. You may find his talk/info helpful.

Hope you are doing well.

[Belthizor]

Hey guys,

Against my best wishes, my girlfriend decided to cancel her appointment with her psychologist tomorrow. Naturally, I'm not happy (but am smart enough to say anything). Now she has admitted to experiencing some anxiety (though she probably would deny that if I actually pursued it. All she's said is she doesn't feel quite right in her head but she can't pinpoint why or what it is). I believe that this is due to her potentially starting Work For the Dole on Monday (whether she actually goes is another matter). This whole thing is very frustrating. Yes, on a level, I believe that she could very much have benefited from going to see her psychologist prior to starting Work For the Dole, but on the other hand, I can't force her to go, I can't make her listen, all I CAN do is be there for her when she needs me (hopefully not because she's had another major anxiety attack).

Anyway, that's all from me for now, I'll keep you all posted,

Cheers,

Sheldon

[CMF]

Hi Sheldon,

look into vitamin B8. Highly recommend it.

cmf

[Belthizor]

Hi cmf,

Thanks for the advise, but again I'm gonna have to decline for a couple of reasons:

Vitamins, as a general rule, are not exactly the most affordable of medications.

The other reason is that my gf's ex used to take it, and that's not a memory she wishes to remember.

Thanks anyway.

Hope you're all doing well and talk to you all soon.

Cheers,

Sheldon

[CMF]

Understand. You're doing a great job!

Hope you are both well. best wishes for the week ahead.

cmf

[Belthizor]

Hi all,

Just a brief update: Tomorrow my gf starts Work For the Dole, so fingers crossed that goes off without a hitch!

Also, I've been in contact with my father who is currently in hospital (planned trip). You may recall I mentioned that I have an Inflammatory Bowel Disease known as Ulcerative Colitis. Well, I'm the fourth person in the family to get it. My maternal aunt has Ulcerative Colitis and Crohns, my sister has Ulcerative Colitis and my father has Ulcerative Colitis and a host of other ailments. He recently went into hospital to have what was his FIFTH surgery (the plan was to give him an ileostomy - that is where they bring a part of your intestine out to the front of your body and attach a sort of bag to collect your waste, as you no longer use your butt when you have an Ostomy, then for surgery #6 they were going to connect everything up and create an artificial bowel out of his intestine - called a "J-Pouch" with the letter denoting the shape. Basically doing what they did for me, but taking the circuitous route, as mine was done in 3 surgeries).

Today, my father texted everyone to let them know that he has an ileus - a painful obstruction of the ileum or other part of the intestine caused by a lack of peristalsis - the pumping action of the intestines that helps move food through the digestive system. This isn't great news as it has set things back, but still, he's in the right place for it, so hopefully they can get things fixed up for him.

Anyway, that's all my news for the moment, hope you're all doing well,

Cheers,

Sheldon

[Belthizor]

Hi all,

I'm very pleased to inform you all that my Gf had quite a good day at work for the dole today. She took a benzo this morning before she headed off and she believes that helped her through the day. She is going to take another one tomorrow, but try for Thursday without one, but will take them with her just in case.

Here's hoping the rest of her time at work for the dole is as stress free as today!

[blondguy]

Hi Sheldon/Cantmoveforward

Thankyou for the tips/advice..There is never enough of them...I have copied them into my 'coping' folder.

Just my humble opinion Sheldon but you and your GF are doing very well. When my female GP said that Id have to take a low dosage of benzo's I really complained about it. Now I realise I was being ignorant..They helped so very much with getting my life back together and provided me with a platform on which I could recover.

Sheldon, you have mentioned something that is a huge coping mechanism and if I can quote you "but will take them with her just in case"

A psychiatrist told me to keep a couple of them in wallet just 'in case' I needed them....It was a great support to have 'them' in my wallet incase I needed them

You are a gem of a carer Sheldon...:-)

Paul

[Belthizor]

Hi guys!

Day two of Work For the Dole went off with hardly a hitch. The place my Gf is at has a range of things to do, and they try to host a barbeque every few weeks. Everyone is in the same boat employment-wise, so my Gf is able to relate easily.

Tomorrow (Thursday), my Gf will have Work For the Dole WITHOUT taking any benzoes (but taking them with her). Here's hoping for a great day!

On my news front, my father will be getting discharged from hospital today which is great news!

Anyway, that's all from me for now, I'll keep you all updated,

Cheers,

Sheldon