(Trigger warning) PTSD after being stabbed

[Guest_08B8CB20]

I feel after i was stabbed nearly 1year ago in the chest heart arterie severed , punctured left lung ,fractured rib rushed to icu injuries were life threatening,i am struggling to deal with life i live in constant fear especially around people i public i have no family support but do have friends but i feel a burden to them all, the flashbacks are out off control especially when sleeping,i dont no what to do i dont have the desire to do much in life anymore i seam to have lost interest in working hobbies even going for a surf i have 4weeks left at were im staying now and the time has come for me to ask for help as i put on a brave face but deep down im feel broken, what do you suggest would be something that could help me with dealing with this nighmare i deal with everynight i go to sleep

[Guest_08B8CB20]

Hi there Mark Kazzl

Gee im being tested but still feel a sence off hooe

I just rang the towing company to see if i could take some off my belongings wetsuit clothes shoes etc they told ne i cant take anything other than personal documents unless i pay the $550.00 for towing it 2 klm to the yard were it is and if i leave it any longer storage fees will apply

What a start to the year

Trying to remain positive

Regards

Jason

[Croix]

Hi Jason,

Things both good and bad, well you will deal with it, I'm sure of that.

The ute and belongings are a nuisance, but the treatment of your friends is a blessing, as is the fact that you might be sore but are still in one piece after the accident. And no kids in the way when it happened.

I was most impressed with something you said earlier:

I just need to leave emotion out off it be clear,assertive and none aggressive and im sure common sense will eventually prevail

You are so right. You will get it sorted - maybe not as quickly as you'd like, but you will.

Frankly I'd dearly like to have a guide on the other side, sometimes one feels alone and exposed and it would be comfort to the soul to have someone like your Opa, not to give instructions, just to be present.

Anyway that's just me I guess.

You take care

Croix

[MarkJT]

Jase, i'm not to sure about the tow company saying that. Is your car a right off? Was your car insured? Have you got the contact details of the (i think you said) police woman who assisted you after the accident.

It may be right but i would check on that.

Mark.

[Guest_08B8CB20]

Hi there everyone

Im just about to nod off a when i thought i would check in on the forum you no i keep saying it cause i really think you all need to hear it thankyou all so much you have all made me feel a sence of worth in our community its really humbling and your very correct in assuming my friends are good people they are the best there is!!! and the lady who has given me a place i can relax the more i get to no her she is super intelligent a very wise soul its like she has some qualification in reading my thoughts and knows exactly when its time to become constructive i actually really enjoy working with her around the property we have fun and a laugh she is switch on and not affaid to get her hands dirty i feel extremely greatfull and she alone with her daughter have more than just my full respect i have there backs as you say it and the i hope i never witness anyone in any way ever disrespecting or upsetting either one off them.

i just finnished watching this documentary called kamatica i have watch it quite afew times and it makes so much sence to me and what we need to do to change what we have become and that is look within ourselves face our own demons instead off projecting them onto others bad people will constantly try to bring good people down because we remind them off how bad they are they install fear into us to make themselves feel powerfull as we need them to protect us because without there fear campaigns terrorism for example they would hold no power and have to start looking within them selves and i dont believe they would like what they see so putting others down takes less courage i liked how the sharmems used to think before america killed 95% off its population to gain control all indigenous tribes from around the world had the right idea they did everything in life with a conscious mind it was spiritual minded they were conected to the earth and new importance off maintaining it we do i believe have a chance off getting back to that way off conscious living or restoring what damage we have done in such a short time but we all need to have a free mind and not be scared to say enough is enough to the leaders of the destructive world we live in to day or as a species we are not to far away from extintion ourselves greed war fear tactics they dont scare me anyone who does any good gets outcasted or executed but if we unite there are so many more off us than the few who hold 60% off the wealth on this earth.

Good night

Jas

[Guest_08B8CB20]

Hi Mark

I just got to put can r crash behind me .no my car was not insured as for some reason fraud charges appeared on my charge papers years ago they said it was a typing area but continued to appear i told them many times im not going to court for fraud eventually they took it off but ever since i cant get insurance for what ever reasons my family is evil but today as i promised them i contacted city sterling because they never told my omi the truth about me and did not contact me to give me my Opas war medals or tell me the exact date he passed away i the warrior have given them the opportunity to correct what they said and to tell my grandmother Omi there motive its only the start but buy the end they will all be turning on one another and this oxygen waisting worrior was to strong for them to defame me into giving up i pulled one card today and probably got another 2 dozen or more they can deal with some off which is going to be exactly what they need and that is there projection off me is who they really are its going to hurt i no i can look in the mirror i have not hurt anyone physically but we are all bound buy law and im glad i uncovered there filth and deception i the warrior can sit back and say with a bue respect you made your bed now your sleeping in it i hope my Omi does not pass away before i get to tell her i forgive her and love her its ok no need to talk about all that negative rubbish you have been brain washed with and i can get to spend some time with quality time with her

[Kazzl]

Morning Jason (hug)

How are you today mate? Hope you don't mind an observation - you seem to be racing a bit in your thoughts. I know what that's like, I get it sometimes because of bipolar. It can get faster and faster until my thoughts are all one big tangle and I can't separate them.

Sorry if I've got it wrong mate - maybe I'm just seeing my own experiences in you. But if you are having trouble, here's some things I do to help slow down:

Close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply, and concentrate on the breath going in and out. Do it steadily for as long as you need to feel calmer and slower. (This lessens anxiety and helps you let go of stress in your body.)

Pick up an object and study it. Really look at it, take in every detail. Ask yourself questions about it - what would it look like if it was a different colour, different shape etc, if it's food image the taste, think about where it came from etc. Be curious about it. (This takes your thoughts away from what's racing in your mind).

Write a focus list - things to do or think about today. If your thoughts get too busy, look at the list and try to regain focus.

I hope that's helpful Jason. I know you have a lot going on mate, and the family situation is a constant problem for you. But sometimes, maybe today, maybe another day, we all need a break from what's preoccupying us, to give our minds a rest.

Very best wishes to you mate, I hope your day is a good one.

Talk later

Kaz

[Guest_08B8CB20]

Good morning Kazzl

Im always open to peoples thoughts and advise and after going back on my last post yeh you are so right

It is consuming just about all off my thoughts unless im physically doing something else outside i find it hard to watch a movie without my mind wondering off thinking what my family has done

I am conscious of this and it has popped into my mind this could make me ill , but there is a time factor involved and thst is my Omi is over 90 years old and i dont want to even contemplate how i will feel knowing that she has died also believing that im no good because she also like my Opa will see the web off lies that have been fabricated by my family aspecially my cousin and that side i have this belief that if i was to come into contact with him i could crush him im so overwhelmed with this desire to see him suffer i have never felt like this towards anyone ever .

And im hoping that if i can at least somehow no that my grand mother knows that im not as bad a person as she has been brainwashed into believing, then that feeling towards my cousin my not be as resentful , i still look forward to hearing he is doing it hard and that its all because off me and my findings.

But yes your right i just no time is precious and Omi may not have that long hear left

Thanks for considering me and my state of mind maybe you can understand now reason behind why its so hard for me to pay full attention to other projects and i have not been for a surf for over a week which is really the only time i can truly say i feel at piece and at one with the universe

My ankle is taking way longer than i expected everything else is fine i will take out my stitches later today theres only 7 to remove my neck seams to be fine just a little stiff but not enough to keep me from going for a wave, hurry up ankle plus im walking distance from beach ,so not having a car its no big deal ,it including the stereo cost me$18.500 5 years ago thats life its only material possession in time i can always buy another car

Take care Kazzl

[MarkJT]

Jase, you are spot on - there are good people and there are bad people on this planet. The good people far outweigh the bad people though. Everyone has a choice as to what they want to be and they are interchangeable. The choices we make determine the future we have. We can all see that you are choosing to be a good citizen, not that you were not before hand of course and what this means is that you are turning your extreme negative situation into a positive - outstanding.

Great pick up by Kazzl noticing that you were racing a bit and i like how you are able to notice that when reading over the post. Take note of what she has said to help you settle. Great advice and I know you will take notice.

There is plenty to like about your posts of late mate - keep it going and remember if you have a bad day or your mind races, it is not a relapse, it is just a bad day. Get through it and start again the next day.

Cheers

Mark

[Kazzl]

Morning Jason, and hi Mark

How are you today Jase? I agree with everything Mark said, and I especially like the thought that a bad day is just a bad day, not a relapse (I'm going to borrow that one).

Yeah, I know those racing thoughts so well. Actually, a good friend of mine here MallowPuff described it has like having a hamster running on a wheel in your head. So a few of us on the bipolar thread now call those racing thoughts our head hamsters. Somehow that helps lessen their impact (and at least makes me smile).

I'm wondering Jason if you have thought of writing a letter to your Omi calmly explaining your side of the story. That won't be proof, but at least she will have your version to consider, and it might remove the urgency for you to state your case given her age. And it might prompt a response. Just a thought mate, only you know whether it's a viable option.

Sorry you're still hurting - do go back to the doc if you feel things aren't healing as they should be.

One good thing mate - there's plenty of summer left, so those waves will be waiting for you as soon as you're able.

Cheers

Kaz

[MarkJT]

"Head hampsters"...love it - great saying Kazzl.

Will be using that one!!

Hope you are well Jase.

Like the idea of a carefully worded letter. If you do decide to do this, make sure you don't let to much emotion come into it. You need to explain a story and if you do this on emotion and not clear thinking, the message will get muddled.

Mark.