Taking antidepressents for the first time tomorrow morning.

[Cesca1557]

Hi,

Im not really sure why im posting this but Im feeling really unsure about taking medication tomorrow. I have had depression for about 7 years, but at the beginning my mum thought i was too young (i was 12-13), and its only now that I have finally decided that I need something else to help as I cant seem to make myself happy on my own.
I am really hopefull for what the antidepressents will do, but I am also really worried. My father has bipolar, and I am really worried that by taking them, it could trigger it in me. I dont have bipolar my self, but due to the genetic predisposition to it and the increased chance of getting it as my dad has it, im really worried that this might be enough to set it off.
As much as I want to be happy, if it risked me going through what he has gone through and put us through over the years, I wouldnt do it.

Sorry, im not really sure what the point of this was, I think I just wanted to vent a little bit.

Cesca

[swtpotato]

Hey c,

I'm so sorry I haven't been around. I have definitely felt like this on and off meds but now feel much better and even tho I don't actually know much about your situation I am very confident things will improve.

But I also don't want to just say the cliche 'things will get better' that is just annoying and frustrating, you are feeling this now and I don't want to dismiss that at all.

My laptop Isn't working ATM but will soon and then I'll properly be back.

Do you go to the doctors soon? I had fortnightly appointments the first 6 weeks to track how I was going. it helped reassure me to have an expert tell me the side effects were mostly normal and that she had seen people with similar improve by a lot later on.

But just saying I have read your posts I hear you I understand (as much as I can from my own perspective) and I want to be here for you to support you

it sucks. I get it. Pls rest and look after yourself, your body and mind will still benefit from self care even if you don't feel much rn

how have you been today?

M

[Cesca1557]

hey m,

dont be sorry at all! how have you been?
so glad you are feeling better 🙂
yea i know sadly that i do just have to wait it out, just frustrating that i have so many exams coming up but i cant properly concentrate on them.
thats annoying about your laptop! hope you can get it fixed soon, i use mine every day for uni so dont know what i would do without it haha, probably a little too dependent.
im going to see my psych on thursday, but my next GP appointment isnt for about 3 weeks, may book one sooner though if i feel like i need it.
Yea i definitely feel like i need to rest more, i was reading over notes, just sitting in bed this morning and fell asleep, only just woke up in time to go to my anatomy prac! then when i got home i fell asleep again, and am still so exhausted. but i cant afford to keep sleeping as i have so much work to get done 😕

today was actually okay, im still really exhausted. but i had a nice day at uni, saw a few friends that i havent seen in a week or two so it was nice to talk to them and relax a bit. the sun was also shinning today which was nice as i walked to the train station. my knee is feeling quite sore so i didnt walk the whole way to uni, however i might tomorrow as its so nice to walk now that the sun is shinning

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Cesca,

I just wanted to pop in to say I hear your pain. Sometimes life hurts...

Hang in there...

M worded it beautifully:

But I also don't want to just say the cliche 'things will get better' that is just annoying and frustrating, you are feeling this now and I don't want to dismiss that at all.

I admit that I'm occasionally guilty of saying stuff like that- mostly when I'm feeling tired to respond properly (not that that's an excuse). But I agree with m that your feelings are valid and it's okay to feel however you feel....it's okay to be okay just as it is okay to not be okay.

I hear you...

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

Hi Cee

shh im not here 😉

but i do want to know how your going and im defiently hearing what your saying. im glad you managed to work out those friendships of yours too i bet that was a relief for you

xoxo

[Cesca1557]

hi pepper and someone who sounds a bit like sn (but who obviously isnt as shes taking a well deserved break 😉 )

so so lovely to hear from you! and thankyou for the love and support.

Im having a little bit of a hard time to be honest. Im feeling more alone than ever at the moment, despite seeing a few friends for lunch at uni and when studying.
im just exhausted andam trying to stay positive but its tough.

im really worried about uni though, i cant concentrate on learning everything for long enough. i have so much content to learn by monday and wednesday and that is when my two mid semester tests are and i just dont know how im going to do it. Ive always been great at memorising things, and usually love subjects that are just memory (especially when they are interesting) as i find them easier. but the last month or two i dont know whats happened. i just cant seem to do it anymore. i just need more time to learn it all, but i dont have it and i dont know what to do. i know im not going to do as well as I want or I need, or that i usually do. Im just feeling a little defeated.

thanks again for popping in 🙂 means a lot

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Cesca (waves to the, um, SN "imposter"),

"Lonely in a crowded room" kind of lonely maybe...

I know you've been having a very rough time. You sound so down and emotionally drained; it must be hard.

Oh yeah, you must be feeling stressed about your mid sem exams. They are nerve racking enough as it is...but that much more with when you're dealing with other life stuff and MH issues.

Just a random thought: this has been mentioned on various BB threads...I wonder if you have spoken to the disability unit at your uni. It's just that they are (usually) in charge of student welfare (including MH) and can offer extensions, more flexibility, etc if you register with them, etc. Perhaps they could help you out...

Sending it kind thoughts. I know you're doing it tough.

Pepper xoxo

[Cesca1557]

hi pepper,

yes definitely that kind of lonely when i am with others.
i just want things to be better so badly, im so tired of being so sad and tired all the time. but oh well, time to stop complaining 🙂

Yea i have heard about that from a few people on here, im not sure how i would go about organising that but i might have a look into it. I might try to see my GP in the next few days and talk to her about it and see if she can help in any way. plus i need to get some more melatonin (for sleep) so need to go back in to get a prescription anyway.
I do think that might be a good idea though, as im really struggling which is affecting my ability to do well at uni. Thankyou for the advice and the reminder!
hope youre doing okay xx

[startingnew]

shh not here 😉

i like what pepper has said Cee. your uni should offer extra onsite therpists and mentors that you can speak to as well. they would be able to give you more information (only becasue we cant know areas etc) adn can support you face to face as well

speaking to your gp is also one of your supports as well, so speak to them they will be able to give you more information for your area as well

have you still been seeing your psychologist? how has that been going for you?

[Cesca1557]

hello hello,

i had a look on the unis website and they do offer the special consideration, i will need proof from a medical practitioner though to prove how it is affecting my studies.
ive been to the therapists at uni, however i was cancelled on 5 consecutive times over the course of 2 months, four time the morning of, often within minutes of the appointment, and once the night before, so ive given up hope in them to be honest.
im seeing a psychologist tomorrow who i used to see when i was younger but havent gone back to in a few years which is good (although not good for my bank account even with the MHC plan rebate thing 😕 but oh well! has to be done).
i was supposed to see her a few weeks ago but had to cancel about a week before as something came at uni that i couldnt get out of, and the appointment tomorrow was the next available appointment.
hopefully that goes well

[startingnew]

see if you can get to your gp and get a medical certificate Cee. it hink thatll help take a few pressures off which will be handy for you

wow thats really pathetic i msut say for uni therapists

im really glad your going to see your psychologist tomorrow. i really hope you find it useful even if you rant away

xoxo