Taking antidepressents for the first time tomorrow morning.

[Cesca1557]

Hi,

Im not really sure why im posting this but Im feeling really unsure about taking medication tomorrow. I have had depression for about 7 years, but at the beginning my mum thought i was too young (i was 12-13), and its only now that I have finally decided that I need something else to help as I cant seem to make myself happy on my own.
I am really hopefull for what the antidepressents will do, but I am also really worried. My father has bipolar, and I am really worried that by taking them, it could trigger it in me. I dont have bipolar my self, but due to the genetic predisposition to it and the increased chance of getting it as my dad has it, im really worried that this might be enough to set it off.
As much as I want to be happy, if it risked me going through what he has gone through and put us through over the years, I wouldnt do it.

Sorry, im not really sure what the point of this was, I think I just wanted to vent a little bit.

Cesca

[Cesca1557]

hey sn,
oh wow that sounds horrible!
yea its definitely nice to have some relaxing things to do when they occur.
thinking of you,

will write up a post on your thread tomorrow morning!

hi M,

haha glad to know you are on a study break!
oh okay that makes sense! yea i am waiting a few more weeks to see if there have been many positive effects. but yay that you have been feeling some positive changes! so happy for you 🙂 hopefully they continue to increase over the next few weeks and more benefits arise as well.

Thankyou! I dont think it has really hit that it has happened yet as like ive said to previous people, we only saw them once or twice a year so i havent done anything where he used to be yet but im sure it will once we go to their house on the weekend.
My grandma and grandad on the other side have both passed away (my grandad before i was born though so i never met him) however my grandma lived oversees so I hadnt seen her in quite a few years before she died and i was much younger so i wasnt as affected by it. but apart from that it is the first close death i have experienced .
( hi nath as well!)I am going well doing, got a lot of work done today which was good! i have to try to get as much done before i go interstate for hte funeral. and when i get back im going away for a few days with friends so i dont have much of the mid semester break to get work done apart from tomorrow!
thankyou both for checking in
hope you are both doing well, how has your days been today?

[swtpotato]

Sounds like you are feeling more motivated atm - hope the sense of accomplishment continues to spur you on.

It could be nice seeing your family and giving your grandfather a proper send off. Also if you feel like you're behind on study don't feel guilty about getting extensions because of the funeral.

When my grandma died I did this even though I wasn't badly affected, I felt a little bad but it took the stress off and let me concentrate on what I was feeling and on connecting with my family and memories.

Hope you enjoy your holiday with your friends - it's such a perfect time of year for it! And good luck for the rest of the semester too.

- m

[startingnew]

Hey Cee


waiting to see if medications are going to work is frustrating and it takes time but in the mean time keep using your strategies and things because medications dont work on their own.
I find gps and psychiatrists want you on the minimum dosages that have an effect.
You may find the grieving process to not take as long as someone close to you as as you said really didnt see them as often so you werent to close but in saying that let yourself grieve. Dont get angry at yourself for the feelings you have surrounding this, let them flow and go through the motions. Denying them delays the healing process.


I hope you have a great time away with friends. Its good to have fun and get out. Enjoy yourself and experience life. Thats what its there for

[Pysis]

Hi C

im glad your doing a little better now, sorry about having to go to the funeral.

hope your ok.

hows your day been?

nath

[Cesca1557]

Hey everyone

sorry I don't have time at the moment to reply to everyone individually, it's been a busy few days. The funeral was lovely but very said however it was nice to have one last time to say goodbye and share stories about his life. I haven't really cried at all which is weird as I'm normally a massive crier, I always cry in movies and have even teared up a little after watching an ad before!

spending time with the cousins has been really lovely as well

heading home tomorrow

hope you are all well, thinking of you all

[startingnew]

Hey Cee


thats ok about not crying, dont force yourself and dont think its weird. Just take it as it comes ok. Your also building up resilience through your learnings as well.


Safe travels
sending lots of hugs your way

xoxox

[Cesca1557]

hi everyone,

i haven't had reception or internet for the last few days so havent been able to come on here
im really strugging right now, im just exhausted and not sure how much longer i can keep doing this.

i had a fight with one of my friends, and i can only imagine what she is now saying to other people about me (ive seen her do the same thing to other people) and after getting home, all my brother did was yell at me.

its been 4 weeks on meds and im not really seeing any effects.
im just strugging to see how anything of this is worth it.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Cesca,

You sound so sad, drained and lonely. Hurt too...I hear the distress in your post. You've clearly been having a very rough time.

Your brother yelling was probably the last thing you needed after the fight with your friend. It's disappointing that your friend wants to drag other people into it and say awful things about you.

About meds- and I'm no doctor so please take my comments with a hefty grain of salt- they can sometimes take up to 8 weeks to take effect (of course this will vary between people and it also depends on the meds). Perhaps you could discuss this with your doctor when you see him/her next...

I have to admit that I'm concerned about you. Can I ask what you mean by "...not sure how much longer I can keep doing this"- are you safe? Are you thinking of suicide? Sorry, I know those are tough questions but I'm only asking out of genuine concern for you.

Hang in there. We care about you...

Sending Kind thoughts,

Pepper xo

[startingnew]

hi Cee

im sorry your struggling, know your not struggling alone ok

i know the feeling of 'is it worth it'. this is a slump and im sure things will pick up. remeber how i said to let the feelings come and go, dont deny them becasue itll delay things. this is one of those times. always remeber tomorrow is a new day and although it might seem so far away or the days the same, it is in fact a new day and your pushing forward.

hugs and hugs

xoxoxox

[Cesca1557]

Hi Pepper,
thanks for getting back so quickly
I definitely am very drained and feeling quite isolated.
Its hard because being with friends usually really helps but its just made me feel worse recently. going in to the trip away with friends, i wasnt feeling great. I was quite numb and empty, which i think had a bit to do with my grandas funeral and just coming to terms with it all but after the first day i was feeling happier and was feeling things again which was nice. but then it all went downhill from there.

yes i know they do usually take longer, i wish it was more of a quick fix :// but understand that I just have to suck it up and wait it out and see how im feeling in a few weeks.
im going back to my GP once ive been on them for about 6 weeks so in a few weeks time and might end up upping the dose if it hasnt led to many improvements

Im just feeling really defeated. To be honest, I have had SI the past day or so and have thought about SH but I would never do anything too drastic. I couldnt think of anything worse that trying something and it not working and having to face everyone.
so you dont have to worry, but thankyou for caring and asking. It really does mean a lot.
Thankyou pepper x