Taking antidepressents for the first time tomorrow morning.

[Cesca1557]

Hi,

Im not really sure why im posting this but Im feeling really unsure about taking medication tomorrow. I have had depression for about 7 years, but at the beginning my mum thought i was too young (i was 12-13), and its only now that I have finally decided that I need something else to help as I cant seem to make myself happy on my own.
I am really hopefull for what the antidepressents will do, but I am also really worried. My father has bipolar, and I am really worried that by taking them, it could trigger it in me. I dont have bipolar my self, but due to the genetic predisposition to it and the increased chance of getting it as my dad has it, im really worried that this might be enough to set it off.
As much as I want to be happy, if it risked me going through what he has gone through and put us through over the years, I wouldnt do it.

Sorry, im not really sure what the point of this was, I think I just wanted to vent a little bit.

Cesca

[Cesca1557]

hi sn,
thankyou for being here and responding.
i really hope it is. I will try to get to bed early tonight and hopefully a bit of sleep will help.
I am trying to let the feelings come and go but theres just so many of them its so overwhelming. i feel like they are crushing me.
thankyou

thinking of you
xoxox

[Cesca1557]

hi pepper, i have replied but its just being moderated so might take slightly longer to come through

xx

[startingnew]

Do you want to talk about some of your feelingd one at a time and see if we can decifer some?

that way we can make things seem a little less overwhelming...

[Peppermintbach]

Morning Cesca,

i know you're struggling so I'm just popping in this morning to send you some caring thoughts.

And if you're into virtual hugs, I'll offer some of those too.

Pepper xo

[startingnew]

Hi cee

I hope your deeling abit better this morning

Offers still there if you want to chat it out

Please dont sh at all it becomes an addiction and im speaking from experience. Its really hard to stop once you start ok.

Ignore those urges and keep on keeping on ok

Your in a rough patch right now ok. And we are here for you anytime

Im sorry about your friends. I hope they come around

See if you can get into your psychologist or your gp for some one on one time and extra 'real life' supports.

Sending you lots and lots of hugs

[swtpotato]

Hey cesca,

I am so glad to hear from you even though things are so tough rn. It is hard, so hard! But you are still here and you've done so well and you've got us when you feel alone.

Also having troubles with your friend, and then your brother - I know how sharp the pain can feel. It can be ridiculous how much small things (not always small) can hurt so much, and it seems like it is too much for them to understand.

You are also in week 4 of meds - I have heaps of mood swings and anxiety around then. Some of it could be side effects that will ease eventually if that is any comfort.

I hear you on all that SI going on in your head. It's scary, and sometimes can even be comforting - the idea that it could all be over soon. It sounds like you are not in danger of acting on it, but if you end up in that place I hope you know where to get help.

Know I care and am thinking of you -- and I really appreciate you checking in on me too. 🙂

m

[Cesca1557]

hi sn,

im back to feeling numb again so the emotions are gone for now but thankyou for wanting to help and when they come back im happy to talk about it more.

yes i will try not to do anything. i will go for a walk or get out of the house next time i think about it.

thankyou.
im seeing my psychologist next week so hopefully that will help.

really do appreciate all the support

[Cesca1557]

morning pepper,

thanks for checking in 🙂
yes i love hugs of all kinds so virtual ones are included in that!

thinking of you

[Cesca1557]

hi m,
wish it wasnt so hard sometimes but you are right, i should be grateful that i am still here.
I feel like it was also just that it was one thing after another and it all kind of just boiled over. it felt like nothing had gone right yesterday, but today is a new day and im trying my best to notice any positive things.
oh okay, that is good to hear! hoping it is just mood swings then, and is more related to the meds. definitley did provide me some comfort so thankyou 🙂
thankyou for checking in on me and showing kindness, i know i say this a lot, but it really really does mean a lot

[swtpotato]

hi c,

yes like reaching a threshold point where you can't take it anymore. it's exhausting always living so close to it.

don't feel bad for when you cannot feel grateful, appreciate it when it comes.

You are very strong - I'm proud you are able to try and do your best today. I will try and do that too 🙂

Why not have a look in the 'today i'm proud of myself for' and '3 things I'm grateful for' threads or whatever they are called in the staying well section. the bad doesn't discount the small bits of good. you got out of bed today (I assume) so well done!

it's hard juggling the advice of - you've got the right to feel whatever you feel, and - try and count the positives when you can. a kind of balancing act I suppose.

hear if you need to talk

m