Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[monkey_magic]

Heya and a good morning to you!

Just swinging by to say hello. Meds give me migraines and I was a bit free of them last night and boy did it feel amazing to not have them. It was beyond. Then I thought about how much unecessary suffering I go through and how hard it is.
It makes U a resilient person DB. It's crappy to have so much wrong, I really feel ya and for you. But I'm amazed that despite all you still muster strength and still live life at your own pace.

You give really great advice and write things on my thread I need to hear as well. Your Mr is a lucky one.
After all your past tragedy I'm glad you've found someone. It gives others hope that there is a silver lining, and sunshine after a storm.

My new boyfriend will hopefully be a car that I buy. Going to look today. Fingers crossed I can get a loan.

You must be a fighter hun. You've been managing multiple health conditions for ages. It can't be at all a walk in the park.

I better go paint my face now and look presentable for my new broom broom...if it happens.

Have a gorgeous spring day if u can or just get through it best way you know how.

Lots of love,
🙉

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩,..Magic and everyone...🤗..

Hows your headaches going honey...I hope they have choofed off....

Awe that’s so sweet you missing your so much loved Mr. Deebi...I can assure you that he is missing you as much as you him....Love it that you care and love each other deeply...it’s so heart warming..

With your foot..just curious if you had your Dr..check for a planta wart on the sole of your foot...The sore one, they are sneaky little buggers and hurt like 💩...when you walk on it...I had in my teenage years..

I woke early enough to see the sunrise this morning..it was beautiful...I forgot how peaceful it is to watch the sunrise....I had one fur on each side of me, trying to drink my tea, and take some photos was a little awkward..I managed to get some lovely photos..

What you up to doing bbff...have you been out at all?..getting some sun and fresh air into you...Pubaok...yadimh..and my 💭..Much Big love and care for you dearest sss...bbff..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🦋🐻🤗🌹..

My care, luv and hugs everyone...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

Hello Magic...I hope your loan comes through and you get to buy a new car....I have a 2002 Mazda 3..I bought 2nd hand about 6 years ago...I love it....It was my first decision after loosing my husband...I traded his car in for it....

yep...spring rang away and Summer stepped in ...hot early this year...had my first salad tonight...and got my first mozzie bite tonight as well....So Much not a fan of Summer.

[demonblaster]

Heyaz Magic 🐒 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and lovely ones ☺

Nice to see you dear people thank you for your time care and support.

Nice things you said Monks hun. When my back and heads behaving it's all good. Still regaining confidence with my back. Phoo wicked pain.

On a recent tele health a neurologist said last yrs MRI (having another tomoz) what they saw was insignificant from their point of view.
Wow all those yrs and now too of sheer agony. Ok between outs.
Felt like it was breaking and every morning for a couple months approx felt like the frame was moving against the other part.
I don't want an op but they're missing something there.

Thanks hun he's a dear lovely man. Very easy time the sweetheart 😍

Hope it all went well for your loan and new car. Exciting.
Look after yourself darls.
I'm reading at yours will bbl 🤗

Gorgeous Grandy hi sweetyheart 🤗
Thanks huns headaches have eased considerably. Had one or two but choofed them. The super flat pillow seems to be helping. Yes!

No I must get onto my foot though. I can see and feel on the side I suspect ? slight torn tendon but unsure.

The sunrise sounds so beautiful awesome you got pics. Great memories hun ☺

Still sleeping heaps wow. We went for a lovely drive as we do most wks with mhw today was lovely.
Sometimes we go out to lunch with friends.
Get takeaways and go somewhere or have at homes good too.
Happy. Adore this love. Thanks Grandy he's such a love 😍

Probs low on characters
Love to you both dear friends. Thanks girls ☺
Deep love Grandy bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👼😍🤗🗯👀

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi,

Lass I'm so pleased they are giving you a MRI today, hopefully they do a full body one. You really have been battling with your body so much, (Hands on hips )...the doctors need to take it more seriously & do something to help you.... or else your bb friends will have serious words with them (or sing under their windows)

I'm hoping Mr Deebi is well & back at yours after staying at his for his friend. Every time you talk about him it brings a smile to my face. The bond the two of you have is utterly adorable.

Biggest of hugs for you both xoxo

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..lovely Paws and everyone..🤗..

How did you go today bbff..

Ive been here all day cooking you a yummy Pork roast with crispy potatoes, slightly burnt pumpkin, roast carrots and broccoli..,with a yummy gravy..ohh I had to test the crackling so just a little bit is missing....dessert is strawberries and yogurt..

Deebi...I hope they find something this time that can be healed...not finding the source of the pain was awful..Honey, if you have a gut feeling something is wrong..Please don’t give up on trying to find out what it is...Geez, something is wrong to cause you so much pain...They need to investigate further....also with your foot a mri scan can’t hurt..maybe then they can fix that as well....

Sounds nice your mhw....He is a good supporter for you..Taking you on drives to get out of your home...That’s nice..I’m pleased you enjoy your time with him...

Paws I think if we sang under the professionals window and stayed until they took proper care of our beautiful Deebi...With my singing voice..the Dr will definitely give Deebi a full body scan within a few minutes...😂😂..I sound like a wild animal...in pain..

The sunrise was amazing...

No need to reply precious friend..you will be tired after today...have something to eat, a nice hot shower then into bed for you dear girl...been thinking about you through most of today..always do..but today more...Hope your okay..love you dearest bbff...💜...pubaok...yadimh and my 💭...🐻🤗🌹🦋🕊🌱..

Love to you Paws and everyone..with big hugs..💜🤗🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....

[demonblaster]

Hi beautiful Paws 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all ☺

You lovelies are such great support thank you so much 🤗

Wow I absolutely know I've packed the weight back on through giving up smokes how often! Just a very occasional now.

Uh oh I was too big. It was too much of a squish in there. Bugger and I wondered how I'd get in it's a pretty small area. Seems last yrs one I had the weight off. It hurt my back so came back out. Too squished dam it. I know I need and can get the weight off and or ring around for a larger machine. My own fault and I know I can get it off. Just need to get my head in the right place.

Waste of money we got transport but nice trip.

Yes it is for full back loveys.

We had a sleep. Mr beautiful yes just away the one day Pawsy love thanks 😊 he wouldn't probs have a sleep in the day but comes with me the gorgeous.

The first 2 or so mths were chronic with the wicked bad pain then about the other 3 mths was very bad too but fortunately through the day I could walk.

I wonder how other people get on cause I see a lot my size around.

Might be going to lunch tomoz with friends.

Oh Grandy we just loved the Roast Pork yummo. Crunchy spuds slightly burnt Pumpkin crackling oh you're gorgeous thank you 🤗

Ok so operation get the kg's off!

Love and care to both of you dear friends. I really hope you're both doing ok 🤗

So much love my dear beautiful Grandy bbff. Thank you sweetyheart for being such a lovely friend always.

👩‍❤️‍👩💜😍👼🗯👀🤝🌱

[blondguy]

Hey DEEBEE! and everyone!

you have been on the forums for ages and its always great to see your colorful profile smiley face 😊 My sister had back surgery for a herniated disc and now the back pain is back especially after periods of stress. I had a crook back in the 1990's and couldnt even sit in a car or a chair without taking an anti inflammatory which didnt really work anyway. Sorry to jump in without reading your posts DeeBee

Have a really good weekend!

Paul

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi,

"I wonder how other people get on cause I see a lot my size around."

Well I struggle. My weight is now over 100kg & it physically hurts. That's why I pinched Grandy's idea & bought myself a pedal machine to try to start exercising gently. Getting my head in the right place & not comfort eating will be a battle I know.

I'm sure Mr Deebi would be wonderful & help you monitor/change what you eat. Having him to cheer you on when you do good would be such a motivator for you to achieve your goal.

Lass I'm sure you are strong enough to do this.

Love & hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paul, Paws and everyone..🤗..

That’s okay Deebi...about the weight hun...Please don’t let it get you down....Since I started on meds around two years ago...I have put on an extra 30kilos...I’m not far off 95 kilos...and I do eat to comfort myself sometimes...It’s okay Deebi..you are not alone with needing to loose weight...You, Paws and Grandy can all do it together...give each some loving caring encouragement..

I am sorry that you had to pay for the trip....but I do like that you found a good positive by saying it was a nice trip...Well done honey...

Paws..I haven’t used my peddle wheels for a couple of weeks now...I get lazy and couldn’t be bothered..No it’s getting hotter weather..it might get cobwebs all over it...

Take good care of you Deebi....always here for you unconditionally....Love you biggly..always..💜🐻👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦋🌹..

Love and hugs to you Paws and Paul..and everyone..💜🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....

Good night, sleep tight.... wake up in the morning, fresh n bright..

[demonblaster]

Dear Pauly 🤗 Pawsy 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 & readers hiyaz 👋

Lovely to see you Paul.
Backs are horrors arent they. I have some understanding of the pain getting in a car it used to be what seemed several minutes of excrutiating pain getting in. Hope yours is better now.
Thanks for calling by Mr. Hope you're going well 🤗

Dear Pawsy hi lovey. Thank you too for your lovely support.
Weights a curse isn't it. Very hard getting the mind in the right place but we can huns ✊
Good on you with the steps. I've had a squiz on the net. That's ok Grandy you'll get back to it later I reckon.
My darling Mr gorgeous Deebi 😍 is a big choccy 🍫 lover too so we'll have to bite the bullet together.
Take care darls 🤗

Hey gorgeous Grandy always love seeing you 🤗 thank you too darlin for your beautiful support.

I know I'm very big and wondered.
I was a second away from an anxiety attack but stopped it before it took over.
Was devo'd the back hurting. Was when my tum went in it pushed against my back. Dam it!
Figure the syrinx is ok but I'll contact them and see where we go from here. I'll suss bigger machines.

My back was quite bad the following day and still catching again but easing god I hope. Being very careful.

Love you heaps Grandy. Thank you for your beautiful friendship. Everyone you're so lovely.
Grandy I've been wondering how you are lovely one 🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜😍🗯👀🌱