Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone 🤗..

Awe Deebi..Its okay about sleeping...at least you keeping beasty away from you when you’re asleep...When I’m down or emotional..I’ll take to my bed and sleep as much as I can...it helps....Yes sweetheart the sleeping will stop sometime..

It’s hard isn’t it to defy beasty...when we want to do something and [IT]xx butts his two cents worth in, and our brain starts banking it and gives beasty so much interest on that two cents , that it grows into more like 99cents worth..before we know it...Your stronger then beasty lovely lady...Just say aloud with some defiance and conviction in your voice..you are not going to win,.choof off beasty beast....🤜👿🤛...scraam 👿🔫..

Oh maybe that tenderness is a part of your foot hurting..maybe gently massage some heat or cold muscle cream into it...or a hot pack a few times a day...not sure if it will help or not...

I cooked the silverside today..I tasted it..tastes nice, We can have tonight, with some cauliflower and corn...There is enough for a couple nights and a couple of sandwiches...yummy looking forward to dinner tonight..

Going by boat sounds good...and relaxing..how nice it would be to be looking out over the vastness of the ocean, it would be incredibly beautiful..

Deebi...You give me also a lot of light each day..your posts are the highlights of my day....truth bbff...

Monday is the 23rd..not long to go honey...I’m starting to pack my overnight bag..I might stay at yours Sunday night and we can go together....after I make you a yummy breakfast..I will pick some fresh weetbix off our weetbix tree for our breakfast..Crush some peanuts, then go over to the beehive get some honey...Yummy weetbix, little butter, peanut butter then drizzle honey over them.....yummy..

I hope your day is a good day today and your taking good care of you....love and care beautiful bbff...🌜💖🌛..always in my 💭...wiwawyip...🌈🌹🦋..

Kind thoughts...Love n hugs everyone 💖🤗🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🦋🦄🌹💖💫 🌜🐆🐅🐩🐕👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌛..our family.

[demonblaster]

Dearest Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi every one 😊

Thanks lovey it is comforting hearing it's ok. I know I should be doing things. Possibly its contributing to excellent care in healing. Its going really well. Close to closed depth wise.

I really do want to walk. A headache dulled it today.

Tea tomoz again at friends. Roast Pork so I'll save some spuds and meal for my bbff.

On the TV theres a cute birdy show you'd like. A cartoon style. One of those really well done ones. Rio2 just checked.

Yip cause walking on the beach I want to do.
Yes I'm pretty sure well assuming its part of the foot stuff. I'm massaging and rubbing. Have anti inflam cream but cant use it too long he said which I dont. It seemed to help the other day.
I use it on occasion for my neck with headaches the muscles as youd know turn to rocks.

It is yummy the Silverside. Good on you. Hope you enjoy and thanks gorgeous would love to eat with you sounds beautiful 😊
I zapoed Cauli the other day got it perfect just the slightest not crunch but..lovely. Not keen when its soft on the flavour.

And we could look at the ✨ in the boat.

😂 So good plucking Weetbix off the tree with peanuts and honey 😄
You're so sweet coming with me.
You NEVER have to ask to stay beautiful the doors always open to you 🗝Love you staying and vice versa.

Thank you Grandy same the highlight of my days. Love you ☺😚

Haha gorgeous piccy of our family 😅
So much love dear friend thank you for being so kind and supportive.

Everyone I hope you're ok ⚘

👩‍❤️‍👩💜💖🗝🐻🤗🗯🌜🤝🌛💫Ah there it is.

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Thank you so much for letting me know your home safe n sound...

Im sorry I haven’t been to visit you today....

Yummy crackling as well as potatoes....

Im not down honey..Truth...my mind isn’t working properly....I just not been able to think clearly to talk to you..which caused me some sads today...

Ill be in to visit you tomorrow dearest bbff.

Love you so much..Big 🐻🤗...honey...wiwawyip..yadimh..

Kind thoughts love n hugs..💖🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄👼🌈🦋

[demonblaster]

Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi all ☺

Ohh so relieved to hear from you, I was starting to worry beautiful.

You're welcome Grandy love I wanted you to know I was ok darlin cause you worry too eh.

Ahh honey sounds like you are struggling. Glad not down exactly but it does at times get hard to say things doesnt it 🐻🤗

Love you so much dear friend you mean the world 💜

Yes I put some yum crackling on your plate too.

Sweet you're so beautiful visiting me and I LOVE it but please don't feel bad if you can't or not up to. I'm just glad to know you're ok ish. Poor love feeling sads today. Try and get a good sleep sweet that'll help clear the mind.

Thanks for calling in ya gorgeous bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜

Please b ok Always. Lysvm wiwAwyip pubAok yAdimh

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯💫✨☀️🐻🤗🍯💖🤝👀

[Ggrand]

Good Morning Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone 🤗..

How did last night go lovely Deebi?...

I really hope you had a good time..with some warm hello hugs and some chatting and laughter....

It was sprinkling here yesterday, today is a beautiful fresh clear day...The day after it rains always smells so fresh and brand new and nature looks so clean n shiny with the dust settled on the ground, the trees being washed by the rain..

Tomorrow a big day for us...I’m thinking it’s an early start...I’ll be with you every step of the way bbff....wiwawyip...we could make a day of it...

Im thinking of you today.... so much....bbff....

I hope your doing okay...are you honey?

Love and care so much for you bbff...🐻🤗. Yadimh..please be okay ....always precious friend..

Sending you and the other beautiful people my love and hugs....💖🤗🤗...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🌹🌈....🌜🐅🐆🐕🐩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌛...

[quirkywords]

hello everyone,

Demonblaster,

I am catching up on your posts. I drop by every so often but rarely post.

I want to thank you for your honesty and the way you off help and friendship to many on here.

Take care

Quirky

[demonblaster]

Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 lovely Quirky Tweety 🐥 and all 😊

So nice to see you lovely people thank you for dropping by.

Quirky it's comforting knowing people are here thank you and for your kind words. I always appreciate what you say.
Hope you're going along ok hun ⚘

Tweety on another thread I saw your sweety tweety msg ya gorgeous. No problem at all darling I know you wouldnt ever ignore me.
I saw a puddytat on TV yesterday and little cutey tweety. Was thinking about you as I have been a lot with concern lately.
Sending much love darlin. Aunty Deebsta 🤗☺

Hi gorgeous lady yes we do have a big day tomoz 😆 you're so gorgeous looking after me. What would I do without you hun 🤗

It was nice last night thanks sweety. I wasnt going to drink but he bought me a couple which was nice.

Ditto sweetyheart your always in my 🗯 with so much love.

I'm ok hun thanks. Slept well. Know I need to stop this day sleeping sigh.

Yadimh bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜
💫🗝✨🤝👀🍯💖

Hope you're feeling brighter and more clear today lovey.

Thanks so much lovely people. Birdy nice that you follow my journey too. It is comforting.

Love to yaz 🤗💗

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone 🤗..

Just popping in to wish my bbff a really good and refreshing sleep.... for our long trip tomorrow...🤗..

I also want to wish you the very best results that you can get beautiful Deebi......

I am a little worried I won’t wake up early enough tomorrow, and I don’t really want to run 🏃🏼‍♀️ after the bus 🚌...Ummm..I know what I’ll do..so I won’t be late...I spoke to your lovely friendly bus driver and she has allowed me to sleep on the bus tonight...I will be nice and warm..I have blanky.....Beasty Buster beanie, my slippers with 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 my beautiful broach on it...and a picture of your avatar....All set for a good nights sleep......

Just gently reminding you bbff..to please try to remember to take a bottle of water with you and maybe some extra munchies...Just in case..🍭🍬🍩...😁...

Im really so happy that you enjoyed your night out..A few drinks is a good relaxant sometimes....Does your friend drive you home after you have dinner?...bit concerned if your public transporting that time of night...

Okay honey...I’m going to let you go off to bed now..make sure your nice and comfy...look into your third eye and think of how you like water cascading down from the top of your head..and how nice it is to just sit quietly and look out at the ocean...while the sun starts setting in the horizon...

Good night honey..I’ll be holding your hand all day tomorrow and will be with you every step of the way......Also Deebi...Love and care for you..💖🤗🦋🌹🌈.

Good night everyone...I hope your dreams are sweet, and your sleep deep....

Kind thoughts....Love and hugs everyone..💖🤗🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌜🐅🐆🐕🐩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌛.................🦋

[Peppermintbach]

Morning wonderful DB (and a wave to all),

I just wanted to quickly visit to wish you well for your op/surgery today. I hope it all goes smoothly without any major issues. Sending love and comfort...

Extra special Supersoul hugs and much love to you today 🙂

Peppystar xoxo

[demonblaster]

Hi lovely Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Peppystar ☘ and everyone ☺

You're lovely friends arent you 😊 Thank you both so much for your beautiful support.

I postponed today even after you gorgeous slept in the bus 😅. I woke with a headache and didnt feel up to a big day of transport.

Peppy love I had this op 6 wks ago and am going on Oct 10th now just for a follow up check and him to give results.
The other op was within 10 days later unrelated, still having dressings for.
Love you were here for me darlin thank you so much.
Love to you too sweety 🤗

Hey sweetyheart you're so cute with your blanky beasty buster beanie ohh was thinking about your little broach on your slipoers the other day 😄 and my avatar ohh you're soo easy to love 💗
Thank you for being there for me you really are such a loving sweet friend.
Huge smiles reading that 😀🤗

Yes lovey they always give me a lift home. Usually his brother who hasnt had drinks drives. Good of you thinking of that ☺

I use that third eye technique often. Really like that Mrs sweety Grandz.
So nice the water cascading down my head and the ocean with the day setting.

Geesh I wasnt feeling 100% this morning went back to bed and slept a lot more. 🤕 still a little I'll take more otc meds.

I'm still stuck on that level in my bubble game and boyo I put the hrs in, its relaxing.

Love you a lot dear Grandy. You're a beautiful friend.
Mhw tomoz early ish.

Hope you both and all reading are going ok.

Happy days lovelies 🤗