Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[monkey_magic]

Hi DB

So sorry to hear, my condolences. May she now rest in paradise

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗...

So much hoping your okay, but I’m guessing your very sad and not doing to good...🤗..

I knew your mil, through your words, spoken from your heart...she was a beautiful woman...and much loved by you..Keep her beautiful memories of your time together in your thoughts, keep the love you have for her in your heart...love never dies, honey...it stays with us...forever we carry that love we felt and received....

Not sure what to say to you, I know nothing will ease your soul and heartbreak right now....

Just sitting quietly with you dear precious friend....holding your hand...

My kindest and most caring thoughts, bbff....Take your time lovely bbff...In you own time...we are all here for you..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy (🕊🌱)..

[demonblaster]

Hey lovely friends 👩‍❤️‍👩🐾🐒 and readers 👋

Thank you So much dear Pawsy Grandy and Magic ☺

Knowing you beautiful people are close by means the world I'm very grateful truthfully thanks so much.

It's a massive relief that we saw her recently it was such a lovely visit. I have beautiful memories of that.

Pretty hard to get the darling out of my mind which is how its always been but now her not being here anymore is pretty average isn't it.

Pawsy 🐾 I know this is hard for you too lovey with your recent loss as well. Just not fair is it 🤗 same for you Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 love you also have recently lost important people. My hearts with youse too 💗

My dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 you're so beautiful. Anything you say soothes me you're a great comfort. Love you so very much. PubAok. Geez Grandz I wish 😢 SO much that we could be for real and others here too.

Many thanks again dear friends I'm remembering so many beautiful memories.

You know I thought about her leaving beautiful qualities to people and thought about her that she used to get up at 6am mostly...yukko! Guess what time the smoke alarm went off this morning a few times then stopped 😲 only the 2nd time its gone off. The bloke came today to check it. A scheduled check.

Mind blowing aye ☺ We don't know but it's pretty amazing all the same esp that it went off after my late love passed at the other place 💗

You're beautiful people 🤗

👩‍❤️‍👩😚🤗💗🐾🤗💗🐒🤗💗

[Ggrand]

Hello beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩,

I had goosebumps when I listened to you about your fire alarm...and it happened twice, both times after a loved one passed...I think it’s a sign that they are now together in paradise and letting you know they are okay...

Awe, hun I think it’s beautiful that you have so many special memories of your mil, to store away in your heart forever... I read somewhere that love is eternal, it never dies, it continues to live on, inside our heart 💓....

Just wanted to pop in to let you know I’m thinking about you and hope so much that you’re doing okay....If you need to sweet lady, please talk here about anything you want/need to...,Unconditionally love you so much💚🦋🦄👼🕊🌱🧸🤗..Big warm, but gentle hugs bbff...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..,,

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Wanted to call in and give you and Mr Deebi a pot of chicken vegetable soup I made yesterday afternoon...just in case your not up to cooking anything..

Thinking of you dearest bbff, with lots of care and love in my heart for you.. 💭🕊💚....Warm gentle hugs 🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..xoxo

[demonblaster]

You're a very beautiful loving bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 thank you for being so caring and such a sweetyheart.

I'm ok well not but am.

Will bbl to talk and reply huns. Really love your beautiful friendship and support everyone included it's greatly appreciated.

Thank you for being you beautiful 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝💫🗯🤗😚😢

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

I am about to bed now dearest friend, when I heard your okay...but not atm...Awe honey...here are some comforting hugs lovely lady.....

Im here if you want to talk....

Please remember to...”Believe in yourself and all that you are, know that their is something inside you, that is greater then any obstacle........Christian D Larsen...

Beautiful quote, for a beautiful friend....the words speak the truth....Please believe in yourself....you are one very incredible and amazing lady...

Good night beautiful friend....sending my little pixies down into your dreams tonight....to give you a lot of peace and restful sleep..

Your biggest bbff fan...love you dear friend..💚🧸🤗🕊🌱

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi,

Just popping to give you a gentle squishy comforting hug lass... I have a comfy (well padded) shoulder if you want to have a cry... I'll put the kettle on & we can sit quietly or you can reminisce about you lovely mil over a cuppa... I'm sure Grandy & Mr Deebi will be sitting with us surrounding you with love & support.

Always here if you need to talk.

🤗🐻🤗💜💙💚💛

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws and everyone...🤗..

Thinking of you precious friend...with lots of love, care, kindness, compassion and concern...

No rush to reply bbff...just letting you know that I’m sitting with you in spirit and gently holding your hand...🤝 tied by our golden friendship ribbon 🎀...

Here for you bbff..if you feel you need to talk 💚..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....🌜🕊🌱🌛

[mmMekitty]

Hi DB,

Just a note, dear one, to say I'm thinking of you. Sending you some virtual hugs, ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️of care for & sooth you.

Anytime you want to talk ...(heh) I know you will,😸 So, I will be listening. Just speak up.

mmMekitty