Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[monkey_magic]

Cheers for the laugh DB, i.e I am collecting carbuncles....lol...

I hope you don't have to collect too many more of them.

Healing vibes.
Xox

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB & a wave to all,

Your carbuncle sounds very, very painful. But I think it’s moving to see that your famous sense of humour has remained. I suppose it’s one good way to cope with life’s struggles...

Much love and a big Supersoul hug from your top student,

Peppystar xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Friend..

I hope your feeling good mentally..poor darling with the back out and carbuncles..What a silly name for them..😁..Don’t know how Drs. come up with naming different things...

I just came to visit you to gabble on about nothing really..no one here to talk to..except my furs..😁 They look at me with their head tipped to the side..probably thinking..doesn’t she know we talk dog talk only...I would go to a dog talking translation class if they had one..Then I would know how to bark and woof to make sense to them..😂 Now when I bark or woof at them..they start running around and barking loudly at me...

This morning I felt someone trying to me off the lounge..by grabbing my ring and pulling on it....It was Ebony wanting to wake me up...I got up with wet eyes and face...I must have been crying in my sleep..I can’t remember the dream..

So much red dirt all over my front and back veranda...If I didn’t know better I would think a dump truck emptied it’s load on them...I need to hose them down...Maybe I’ll put on my swimmers...take some liquid soap with me and have a shower as well😂..I definitely need one.

Enough gabbing now...

How are you my precious friend?....Been imagining you and Mr.Beautiful taking slow walks along the beach in the evenings...Oh with me of course...I know 2 company and 3’s a crowd...but hey I love you..💜...and Mr Deebi...then when we get home..I cooked us all a yummy meal....slow cooked pork with lots of pumpkin..with extra crunchy salty crackling...I done separately in the oven...hmmm how good does that sound...

Look after you bbff..Keep holding tightly 🤝....together we are strong..💪👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💪..oops we have 2 left arms..😂..no right arm to be found...never mind we can still 🤜👿🤛 Beasty away from us..

Big love and super care for you honey..💜🤗🐻🤗🕊🌱...we got this..🐉🔥..and we are strong...

Kind thoughts...love and hugs everyone..💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🐆🐅🐩🐕👨‍⚖️🌛..💜..our family..

[demonblaster]

Beautiful bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 Peppy ☘Paws 🐾Magic🐒 and any readers hiyaz ☺

Grandy love always SO good seeing you.
😆 so ya reckon try to collect something less painful eh. Sounds like a plan. From today I'm going from daily dressings to 2nd daily. Getting there.

The backs wicked pain it honestly feels as though it's breaking when I get up from bed. God mostly don't want to get up. Apart from that and walking a little weird its ok but omg 😲 it is actually screaming pain thank goodness lasts about 2 seconds then a few more getting over it. Another level it's cruel. I feel a section of the back move 🤤😲

MH not too bad thanks lovely still dont do much.

Oh Grandy what a beautiful vision us all walking the beach. I havent been back walking yet and omg need to. Read that to Mr beautiful Deebi 😊 so cute oh loved the slow cooked pork and what a crackling thank you so much ya gorgeous.
It's you I'm thinking about beautiful you're on my mind and in my heart constantly beautiful friend. Love you so much Grandy 🤗
Thanks for those gorgeous posts love our time 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯🍫🐶🐩🤵😍🤝🍷👀

Monks 🤗 thanks for dropping by hun. Made me smile knowing you got a giggle.
Good seeing you lovey.
Take good care darlz ⚘

Dear Peppystar yes still my top student 😊
And thanking you as well for the visit dear friend lovely seeing you.
I'm very grateful as I havent been around for everyone lately but will get back on track sometime. Still love everyone.
Yes if we don't laugh cryings too hard an option.
Much love too sweet friend. Look after yourself Peppy ☘

Grandy sweetyheart often I imagine us staying at yours looking at stars and just being happy in eachothers company. Mr beautiful as well. He's such a precious Grandz so easy being around eachother all the time the sweety 😍🤵
You too honeyheart god I wish 😢 but we can hold onto hope.

I hope your healths holding up sweets.

Btw bbff never 3's a crowd both of you are part of me 💜

Lol love no right arms 😆 yes together we're strong unbreakable and winning because we're survivors like the other beautifuls here 🤝

Love you very deeply dear Grandy. Thank you for being the beautiful friend and person you are.
You're amazing 😚🗯💜🐶🐩👩‍❤️‍👩🤵😍🤝👀🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....and all..🤗..

Oh no..😢..honey..I’m deeply sorry about your back..Your pain sounds unbearable....I wish I could be there to help you...Deebi..are your meds helping to relieve the pain at all?...Im wondering if your mattress is to soft and might be contributing to your back outs...as your sleeping a lot..My dad always had a sore back ( bulging disc) He ended up placing 2 doors across the bottom of the mattress to harden it up...and I can remember him telling my mum that it helped a lot...Just a thought beautiful friend...Are there some type of gentle stretches that Mr. Beautiful can help you with that your able to do?...poor my bbff...not good feeling your back move, maybe can you go to your Dr. while your back is so sore..maybe he/she can give you something for it..

Haven’t had many stars out this summer, to much dust in the air...although for some reason the cold winter nights usually gives of an unbelievable star ⭐️ show ..I remember last year..I wrapped myself like a cocoon in a blanket and also took my heater out front and sat for a couple of hours looking at the stars and I fell asleep on the front veranda..Silly me...😁🙃..

Oh did I tell you..My youngest gave me something that I can use to attach the head to the body on Julie...needs glueing and sewing and working ⚒🔨⛏..oops I mean 🧵sewing some material around it to make it the right colour and look okay..😁..I found an actual mannequin head, when I was visiting my sons place..at an old op shop..

Okay honey..I need to clean all this dirt out of my house..again 🥵..I’m really over the dust storms..🤬..worse I think because the paddocks across from me had no grass just dirt and the slightest breeze sends it into the air and over into my house...I have gaps around my door so it’s never ending...🙄.

I hope you can find some way to enjoy your day today lovely one...Thinking of you with so much love and care..💜🤗🤗..Thank you for saying I’m a part of your life..you are my world sweetheart..without your friendship, love and care I would..Well I don’t know what I would do...🌜💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🌛..

Kind thoughts sent with my love and hugs everyone.💜🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱..one day it’s achievable...

[demonblaster]

Hi there gorgeous 👩‍❤️‍👩 and any readers hiya 😊

So nice seeing you. Oh Grandz sorry lovey I loved your post the other day and didnt reply properly. Was lovely reading it.
How cute Ebony waking you up. You poor love crying in your sleep 🤗
Loven them running around if you bark to them 😆 so cute.
Wouldn't it be cool knowing what animals are saying.

That dust would be such a pain and the constant cleaning must be a nuisance. No thanks 😆 you go for it lovey 😀

Thanks beautiful lady today I got out of bed twice without pain I wait as long as I can. It is very severe so here's hoping it's on the mend. It's different these days thank goodness on outs still terrible pain but use to be so much worse and constant. Unbelievable.
I'm being careful very and you dear darling you would help me I know 🤗 thanks honeyheart.
I was doing some gentle stretches on the groin/hip maybe that did it one other time I was doing stretches and it went out too. Can't win.
I think the mattresses are good well need another but have two atm. Great idea your Dad with the doors. Good on him.
It always use to be bulging discs incredible pain.

Yes winter puts on some good 🌟shows doesnt it. I remember you falling asleep you love. We've had many awesome times watching them on your veranda 🤝 yes anythings possible. Wiwyip 😢

Coool about finding a mannequin head and ys giving you something to connect it. Woo hoo sounds like a fair bit of work to be done but how neaties she'll be another besty. I love you're doing her she'll love you as much as I do gorgeous 😁
You're welcome hun its true you're both part of me. Darlings 🤗😙

I know how you feel about our incredible friendship beautiful. So glad we met love you so much Grandy.
PubAok lysvm awyis yadimh sss bbff gg

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🐶🐩🤝🍫🤵😍🐻🤗🍷🌟

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi, wave to Mr Deebi,

How are you lass? You really have been in the wars lately, haven't you.

Ummm... I think I should send you a thimble... you may be surprised to learn this 😆 but collecting thimbles is much better than collecting carbuncles....💜

I hope your back is starting to behave itself. Have you thought about doing gentle exercise in the pool to help you move with support from the water. Please take care with moving, get Mr Deebi to do the reaching up for things & to carry stuff for you.

Take care

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone..🤗..

Deebi..honey, that’s okay..please don’t be sorry..I know you read..sometimes it’s easy to forget to reply to everything..just listening to you..is music to my ears..and light in my heart...

How are you today bbff...with your sore back...and your foot..is it still painful to walk...and of course how’s your beautiful mind...(mh)..?...Sorry If I asked to many questions...

Slow and gentle with everything you do, until your back starts to heal as good as it can...Not sure if you know this..the worse thing to do is to sweep or vacuum when you have a back out...please be careful Lovely one..

Paws is spot on with gentle exercise in water...but not on your own...please always have someone with you when you go to the beach..if your back goes out, even a few inches of water can be dangerous....Promise me bbff that you won’t go into the water if the beach is deserted...

I called in to wish you and Mr.Beautiful a goodnight..with sweet dreams...and I teeny weeny chat..with a new flashy double seat for your 🏍...So Mr. Deebi can Enjoy your vrooom vroom also....it is purple with some tiny Jonquils embroidered onto it..

Good night my special angel...I hope you sleep well..

Love you 💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗..dearest bbff..

Love and hugs everyone..💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱

[demonblaster]

Hey lovely Paws 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers 😊

Thank you both for your lovely posts it's so nice to have your support 🤗

I'm so tired so just wanted to let youse know I'll see you tomoz if ok.

Got to get up early tomoz to have a jaw xray tell you more tomoz.

Thanks loves really nice posts always are

Love to you Mrs Grandy 🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜

You're both very cared about and appreciated. Hope lifes being a bit kinder to both of you.

Nigh nite ☺🤝🗯✨🌹

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone 🤗..

Awe no...I hope your jaw is okay honey...Good idea..sleep well my bestie bbff...with the sweetest of dreams ever...

Your also very cared about and appreciated so very much...

Good night Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, Peppy and all...my love and lots of warm hugs...💜🤗..

Love you Deebi..Please you be okay...always my sss...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..xx🕊🌱xx...