Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi,

Oh you poor possum with your ouchy 🤕 head. I love that you are teaching Mr Deebi how to give you head massages & that they do help even if only a little.

Take things gently lass & try to keep your fluids up....they say it can help ease a headache for some people.

Gentle hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello BeaDeebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

A little gift for an amazing friend...

Its a red velvet pouch and inside you’ll find

"An eraser, to make all those little mistakes disappear;

5 cents, so you will never be completely broke;

A marble, for those days when you're sure you've lost yours;

An elastic, to help you stretch beyond your limits;

A paperclip, to hold it all together when it seems to be falling apart;

And a bear hug to remind you that you're loved."

Good night dearest bbff....I hope your sleep is refreshingly good..and your dreams are filled with the Stars and moon...

Love and bear hugs honey..🐻🤗..Please you be okay....always.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊

[demonblaster]

Hi good people ☺

Dear Paws thank you very much lass (still loven that 😀)

You have a very comforting compassionate and gentle way about you.

Finally choofed the 🤕 Grandy noticed they seem to be around during BP I had a slight touch of mania short burst and some downs before hand but all good atm. Take care possum thats lovely too 🤗🐾

Sweety Grandy oh that's really really lovely it gave me a warm glow reading it thank you beautiful sss I can't remember what the 3rd s is for 😆 soul sissy ?

I might need a bag of marbles 😂

Going to save that. It's fantastic.

I've got to the point I'm so hacked off with my weight so starting to do something its not just a few kg its mammoth and keen to swim well dunk walk in water etc often so this is all positive.

Had a good social day yesterday was too tired to go to special needs party but we went after for a while so good seeing them and the staff.

Then op shopped we enjoyed looking at the bits.

Then with loves 2 housemates went to a really nice place absolute lovely drive there huge beach and the club played keno and cooled off somewhat. Wicked hot but thats summer, mostly I can accept but can't stand the heat.

Seeing mhw tomoz then next weds we staying at a bestys then he taking us to airport for xmas trip.

So SO good having a blow from the lonng deep downs theres been a few nasties but sporadic and I've managed to acknowledge and pull back out.

Hope your days are good everyone and if we keep in mind if we're feeling down it won't be like that all the time. We all I believe have the goods and are capable of gaining control.

Thank you for all support. Never forgotten.

Grandy beautiful love you from the core of my soul that'll never change it'll just deepen you're an absolute treasure 😊🤗😚

🌜👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝👀🗯💗🦄⚘🌛

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I love hearing that your going out and about sometimes to different places and your enjoying them...It really does warm my heart...

I could imagine that catching up with your special needs friends was really beautiful with lots of hugs and chats...Well done honey...

I hope your visit with your mh guy goes really well...and you have some talks about whatever you feel you need to talk about to him....I know you both connect with each other on a professional level...that’s gold Deebi...

It’s going to be wonderful that you’ll see your brother and family at Christmas...so much catching up to do and I love that you’re going to get and feel lots of love from him and his beautiful family..sometimes amazing for you and Mr. Deebi to look forward to...What a beautiful person Mr. Deebi is to go with you and meet everyone....I’m a little jealous that it’s not me....😔...Can I ask you to do one thing for me while you’re their?....Please have an amazing and happy time..🙃..that will make me happy 😃...if you do...

Im so proud of you the way your managing your cycles and mh..I think having someone with you that loves and cares so much for you is a big help for you to manage your mh...

I can understand about your weight honey..but don’t let it get you down...You need to remember beautiful bbff that you’ve been unwell with your back, neck and foot, which has made walks very hard for you this year...Once your foot choirs off it will be easier for you to go on walks along the beach with Mr. Deebi...👫..You are beautiful no matter what..beauty starts inside and you are over filled and it’s flowing out all around you...

Love you treasured bbff..you make a mammoth difference to my life..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🤗🦋🐻🤗..wiwawyip my beautiful sss...always with you in spirit..and 💭..

Love and hugs all round to you and our beautiful friends here listening and or posting..💜🤗

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦋🕊🌱🦄👼🥰🤝..

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Whatcha being doing my precious bbff?..RUOK?

Have you started packing packing yet to go your lovely brothers place?..Hard isn’t it knowing what to pack..

Just a gentle reminder to not forget your meds honey..even now as your listening to me..write a little note out to remind you and leave it on your fridge door...Maybe big bright lettering so you see it very easily and read it when you make your morning cuppa on Wednesday morning...😊..I keep all my meds together in a container at all times so it’s easy to not forget any...

Also wanted to thank you for your very wise and caring words to me on mine and will reply their tomorrow..

Um I’m thinking about what to get you and your special man for Christmas....I have some ideas...but my lips are zipped 🤐😂...I so much wish I could send you a for real gift..😢..D & E are getting a nice gift as well.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love you bbff...Don’t want you forgetting....💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜.. yadimh..lysvm.. awyis..sss..and a huge squishy 🐻🤗..

Good night dearest friend..sleep peacefully with dreams of pure serenity..

Kind thoughts..sent with much love and warm hugs..💜🤗.everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🕊🌱💭🕊🦢..🦜🐅🐆🐩🐕..

[demonblaster]

You're a beautiful person Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩and so are the other lovelies here 🤗

I know and appreciate very much dear friend/s that you know I read and for being so thoughtful and understanding about Mr Deebi.

Geez I love you Floss and so so badly wanted to yak to you today.

I am in a pretty mild BP so todays arou d day 5/6. Very emotional crying last night wee hrs and today but all fantastic again.

Absolutely adore Mr D we love eachother very much and such easy time laughing chatting doing shops or cooking together.

Its 🎃 time so I'll be back sweetyheart and take your time darlin whenever you're good for a replies ok as long as I know you're ok. Can't have me having Grandy withdrawals 😂 now can we same for you.

Thanks for awesome posts if you knew how much light you put in my life I could keep Australia supplied with lights.

Quite a bit of bitsy news. Busy day tomoz packing and bits to do.

Love you big time dear friend you're SO incredibly important to me precious friend. Thanks lovey about my post to you lovely of you saying.

You're in my 🗯 that never changes.

PubAok lysvm sss yAdimh haha loven you have prezzies I best get my thinking hat on too 👒

Hope your ok honeyheart 🤗😚

[blondguy]

Hey Hey DeeeBeee!

Sending you and your family my very kindest wishes for Christmas 🙂 You are a wonderful person that I hope has some well earned time out over Christmas. You have brought happiness to so many people on the forums!

Bear Hugs for you DB x

Paul

[demonblaster]

Heya Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Pauly 🤗 and all 👋☺

What a lovely visit our dear Pauly thank you very much buddy lovely words.

I hope you're doing well matey and happy you deserve. You give so much of yourself here you're without a doubt a good man.

Sending bear hugs back budz 🤗 Take good care Paul ☺ really nice seeing you. Happy Xmas.

Hey gorgeous Grandy you'd be flat out too I imagine like us packing blaghh pet dislike but nice to be zipping around we'll be staying at 4 different places over 4 days including mine. Off to a besty where we used to live he'll take us to airport Thurs.

Lot of social lately been good. Loven Mr sweety Deebi he's real love. Very easy to be with and love as he does me 😍

We're so tired but sliwly getting packed we just couldnt find the energy last night but persevered for mine now we're chatting with housemates and nearly packed yay pretty over it.

Grandy love please be so careful and never forget how much love you have by so many here and rl and use it for strength honey.

Love you very deeply thinking untold and holding hope that one day we get to be there for eachother in rl.

PubAok sweetyheart and everyone for that matter.

Best I get back into it bla would rather iron rocks than pack.

Later loves 🤗😚🗯👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝⚘

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi & wave to Mr Deebi,

Enjoy your time away lass, the pair of you.

My mother hen hat just happened to fall on my head so.....It will be hot where ever in Aus you will be.... remember to slip slop slap.......keep the fluids up.....wear a hat......stay away from bitey things like mozzies/sharks, drop bears etc

Safe travels to you both.

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi..

🌜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦄🐩🐕🐆🐅👨👨‍⚖️🌛...💜 you..

Enjoy your Christmas trip....

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱🦄👼