Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Good Morning Beautiful Deebi🤗..hello all..🤗..

Calling in to wish you a beautiful and happy day..bbff...

I hope today you enjoy your day...

No..honey it doesn’t matter how...it’s still very sad..RIP...

Giving you a big comforting 🤗...To start your day knowing that you are loved and cared for...💜🤗..

Not sure but I think today you go shopping..don’t forget to buy yourself and Mr.Beautiful Deebi..a extra special treat...

Here for you always lovely lady...👀🤝..

Kind thoughts...Love and hugs..everyone..💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱🦋🦄🦍😁.

[demonblaster]

Beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and other lovely friends and readers 👋

Again many thanks for your beautiful support lovely friends it makes the world of difference doesn't it.

Paws that was a lovely story thank you darlin very sweet and Peps and my/our gorgeous Grandy sitting close is so comforting you really are lovely kind caring people. Forever grateful 🤗

😂 Grandy love just loven your new bag my my its rather impressive isnt it . Oh cool a fantasy floor and climbing in to disappear 😆 groovin it sweetyheart nice score 🤗

Thank you for your beautiful visit its always so lovely seeing you hun ☺😚

How gorgeous you remembering I use to shop today precious friend. Mr Deebi and I go from time to time and its been the best part of the yr I havent been to the bbq's.

Sometimes I say to my mhw not to worry visiting we usually go somewhere lovely so many beautiful places here cause I'm ok but might catch him this wk with luck.

I had a night that I felt I needed desparately to leave my head escape it then cried a tiny bit after telling Mr D. Was ok after and a couple other times had similar but fleeting wow so intense. I think having Misters a good distraction the love.

Been sleeping a lot but thinking over the past 4ish mths 4 infections 4 anaesthetics and 3 ops but I'm a sleeper anyway. We're content and happy.

I do want to look into that needle for the foot and go more often to the pools for water exercise.

Loved you said not to be but I am annoyed and down on the weight but it's in me to get it off too.

Phew still off the smokes. Had very occassional ones since those couple of pkts hardly any.

Hope you're all doing well lovely people, I will be back more here just getting into a routine with the sweetyman.

Love you very much Grandy 🗯 thank you so much for your beautiful friendship and to you beautiful girls too 🤗

🌜👩‍❤️‍👩💜🐶🐩🐕🐆🤵✨😁🌛

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (& a wave to all),

I’m happy to hear things seem to be going very well with Mr Deebi. Ever since he has been in your life, I have noticed a “glowing” tone in your writing. Must be that new romance glow 🙂

Congratulations on cutting back on your smoking. I think that’s an enormous achievement and I feel very proud of you!

Although I feel saddened to hear that other health issues have been bringing you down a bit, such as your foot, weight, etc. I know our physical & mental health is so intertwined that one tends to affect the other....

Supersoul hugs and much love, and a bonus Supersoul hug for Mr Deebi. I learned from the Master 😉 xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello beautiful bbff..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗..

Thats okay about the bbqs Maybe next year you might feel up to going..it’s hard honey with your foot..I remember so easily the pain it gives us..Maybe Mr.Deebi might even like to join you...

I could how much easier it would be to get up from those niggly downs..having someone to talk to when we are feeling sad or emotional is wonderful especially if they love you and he is..as I know very caring..I’m so happy for you..and feel less anxious about you being alone.🤗..

It would be good if you still keep in contact and see him as well on occasions because he is good for you to release some bads...and he gives you a lot of help...

Thats great to hear that your both content and happy..that’s what life should be like...🌈🌟✨⚡️⭐️..

Good girl with the smokes..I have an occasional few..will stop soon...I hope..😁..

Maybe soon I’ll give you a tour of our new 💼...I’m just need to build a bridge inside..so we can get over to the waterfall..hmmm..maybe a wobbly swinging bridge..need to finish making enough rope for it...

Howz your day been precious friend?..

Say hello to Mr. Deebi for me..please..and wish him lots of happy times...

Good night honey..wishing you a deep, relaxing, restful sleep..Love you my bbff...💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...Please you be okay...always..yadimh..Bpaly..sss..gentle bear hugs 🐻🤗..

Kind thoughts with caring hugs and love..everyone reading.💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🚜🦋🦢🦜🕊🦚🦃🐓..

[demonblaster]

Hi there Peppystar ☘ bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone 👋

Dear Peppy thank you always lovey for your beautiful friendship and continuing support you're another good friend lovely 🤗

😍 Thanks Peps he's a real sweety we're going well. Hardly been apart. Very happy the sweety.

Had a smoke today havent for around 2 wks so feel I've given up and over the risk time when I bought some after a good break. Finally!

Thank you lovey for Mr Deebis super soul hug he said thank you and giving you a good hug too ☺
Take good care huns. Love care and always great friendship from master soul 🤗 😆💗☘

Heya gorgeous Grandy how you doin sweetyheart. Always so good seeing you too beautiful friend.

Thanks Grandz I find it comforting when you say it's ok. Yip bbq's maybe next yr again.
Yes mhw goin to try for Mr Deebi the gorgeous too. Hope so he's such a lovely.

How beautiful you feeling less anxious about me being alone.
I don't know if he understands but he's a very good listener and does love me which makes the world of difference. He's such a love 😍 Grandy you'd really like him.
Speaks so gently and quietly mostly. So cute.

Yip for sure want to always see mhw he's incredible. Couldnt ask for better.

Good girl you'll be ok to give up. I worry with your heart floss 😚💜

😅 can't wait for our 💼 tour. I like that you're making the rope that's quite impressive I must say. You rock Grandz. Geez I love you so much. PubAok won't you. Need you Grandy can't imagine my life without my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝✨💼

So cute saying hi to Mr Deebi he smiled and said thank you and back at you darlin.

Please give my love to the furs and our gorgeous's send theirs back too 🌜🐩🐕🐶🐅👨‍⚕️👩‍❤️‍👩💜🌛

Care so deeply about you and appreciate you so much hun. Thank you darlin. I'm good thanks sweetyheart hope you too. Always deepest love 🤗💜

Best to anyone reading ☺⚘🌱

[blondguy]

Hey DeeeBeeee 🙂

Just sending you a hug if thats okay!

I hope you have been doing okay

my kindest always

Paul

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB and a wave to all,

You and Mr Deebi are clearly happily getting to know each other, and that makes me smile. You sound very content, and it’s obvious how much you adore him 🙂

It made me laugh to hear that Mr Deebi wants to give me a Supersoul hug. Clearly you’ve been teaching him well, but I’ll always be your best student 😉

Congratulations on 2 weeks sans cigarettes. I know that couldn’t have been easy, so I really admire your determination!

Wishing you many more shared moments with Mr Deebi this week....

More Supersoul hugs for both of you xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi..and everyone.🤗..

How you going my dearest bestest bbff?

Calling in to check on you honey and to let you know that I wish you one of the best sleeps tonight that you’ve ever had...deep...restful..calming..peaceful...with dreams so peaceful that you wake with that beautiful kind soul of yours shining brightly into your precious heart...

You light up my life..🎹..and everyone else’s life that are extra special lucky to know you...

Good night dear bbff...love you deeply my treasured chosen sister...🐻🤗..bear hugs and 🦋🦄🕊 with peace..

Kind thoughts everyone with luv and hugs..💜🤗...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..💜🦋🦄🐻😂🦘🦜🌱🦢🚜🐓🦃🦚

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I hope you are doing good Deebi...🤗..

just want to send you my love and care...

please be okay my beautiful bbff...💜🦋🤗..

Love and warm hugs....💜🤗..

Always here for you honey..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....🦢🦘🐻...

[demonblaster]

Hiyaz Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Pauly 🤗and Peppystar ☘

So lovely seeing you beautiful people thank you so much for your time and support 🤗

Dear Pauly hiya 😊 what a sweet visit absolutely loved the hug thank you Mr and what a beautiful greeting.
Hope you're well and having goods in your life you're a lovely bloke 🤗

Hey Peppy love I started a bit back to catch up at yours and have a way to go but want to.
Yes very happy with this lovely lovable sweetyman.
Been overall off the smokes about 5mths or so with a couple of pkts weakness but pulled through again phew.
Sending lots of love care and 🗯 ☘⚘

My darling Grandy hi there gorgeous. So so good seeing you sweetyheart.
You have such a tender kindness to you. Love and care about you so much.
That previous post gave me great comfort (before this last one) though they all do from you. Thank you Grandy for being such an amazing solid friend.
I'm worried about you sweety 🤗

I'm ok thanks honey well 🤕 actually not and you noticed when I go into BP which think I am they come on more. Glad yours is gone.
I started teaching Mr Deebi beautiful head massage I do for him too and it temporarily helped. He's precious Grandz 😍

I know and loved what you said about not being down about weight although I'm confident to get it off again it is a downer but it's in me.

You have a couple of new people supporting you honey because of the beautiful person you are. Please believe in yourself we're in this together and never letting go 🤝.

Really love you Grandy it breaks my heart not being wiwip 💔😢

I'll pop off lovey heads starting to deepen
🌜😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜💼🎁🗯🤝🐩🐕👨‍⚕️🐶🐅🌛