Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hi there lovely Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and any readers 👋☺

So beautiful seeing you Grandz you're such a genuine loving caring lady it's a pleasure and honour having you as a bbff 💜👼🤗

My foots really performing but I've also been so slack not only eating terribly as in naughties often but not excercising and my weight gains downing me but I'm not out yet so will get it off sometime. Sooner than later I hope.
You like feet hun, I can take or leave them. A regular foot massage would be nice.

A couple of times I've had short bursts of frustration and sometimes wake from arvo sleep a bit down but unsure why but it doesnt last long.

This sweet Mister Deebi is a lovely man I'm very happy. We spend pretty much every moment together. You'd like him Grandz he's so easy and such a sweetylove.

Not sure if I mentioned we're going for a dunk with besty on Fri. I so badly need to get into regular exercise.

Love you biggly too beautiful lady, you're always in my 🗯 with love care and gratitude you're a boomer friend sweetyheart 💜

Hope your lovely birdies are keeping you in good company and making you happy. Good on you gorgeous.

Floss if you'd like Just to sit over there that's it in that lovely comfy seat outside.
I'm gently blowing a large soft wobbly bubble (borrowed the machine 💼) over to yours lovey. When it finishes giving you a beautiful warm long hug with love from me it'll softly for 20 mins release a cool soothing spray all over you which will leave you feeling mentally and physically completely invigorated while you relax in the beauty of all those gorgeous tiny wee flowers gently floating around you.
See the Gold sprinkles they scatter...if you take 3 nice calm deep breaths honey feel the peace they carry entering your soul and spreading a comforting warmth throughout your being while you feel the pain releasing on breathing out.

You're at peace now sweetyheart with yourself your life and the world. You Belong and you're so very loved.

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯👼😚🚜🍦🐕🐅🐩👨‍⚕️💼💗🤝👀

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (and a wave to all),

I’m very happy to hear that things are going well with Mr Deebi. I know you still have your struggles, but you sound much more content these days, which I’m pretty sure is at least party related to his beautiful presence 🙂

The sore foot doesn’t sound so pleasant though. Hopefully, your plans to go for a swim work out...nice low impact exercise...

I hope you have a lovely week 🙂

Supersoul hugs and much love,

Peppystar xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..gentle Peppy and all..🤗..

That was so beautiful the bubbles, teeny weeny flowers, and sparkling gold sprinkles...I needed an escape..Thank you so much dearest bbff....

Your day out on Friday to the beach sounds like fun with so many happy memories you can all make...isn’t it calming just being in the water and and handing yourself over to Mother Nature to put some serenity into your soul as you gently let the ebb flow float some healing salt into your body to help heal those tense muscles.....I’m wishing you, Mr.Deebi and your friend/s a great enjoyable time..I’ll be there with you all in spirit, holding your hand and watching out for you.

Thats okay honey about short bursts of frustration..Your in a different place right now, learning about each other, and sharing your lives together..it’s hard honey...no matter how much you love Mr. Deebi..and he loves you..I think there’s going to be little bits of frustration here and their until you really understand each other’s habits..likes and dislikes..I’m pleased the downers don’t last in the morning..I think because you have Mr.Deebi their with you..it’s helping you to pull up quicker....

Oops honey..I meant the little foot 🦶 emoji is cute..😂..

Please don’t go down with your weight..When your foot heals and you get back into walking 🚶‍♀️ you will start to loose it....Be happy with you..The time used to worry about your weight..will take some happiness time away from you...it’s not worth it...grab every second of happiness that you can beautiful bbff...

Um are you wearing good shoes with your arc supports in?..Hard to do now because of the hotter weather...

I hope today when you wake up that your heart and soul is filled with light... peace and calmness..

Love you my precious friend...yadimh..and in my 💭..🕊🌱..Please be okay..always...wiwawyip 😢...

Kind caring thoughts everyone..with love and hugs 💜🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🐻🐕🐩🐅🐆🔥🐒🐣🦋🦄.

[Ggrand]

Dearest Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....

Im just calling in to see how your day went today..I hope it was really good and happy memories were made...

How are you feeling bbff....both physical and mental health..🦋....

I finished yours and Mr. Deebi gift tonight....I worked so hard polishing them both to an amazing brilliant shine...

Made of the purest crystal yours is a beautiful Turquoise Crystal transparent Heart..💙..on the inside is a pure white butterfly..🦋...and written with gold wire on the body is Deebi....and on one wing written in golden wire is Mr.Deebi..the other wing has written in golden wire Grandy.

My Deebi has the same but his is a tie clip...Mr Deebi has a beautiful Emerald Crystal transparent heart 💚...with a beautiful pure white butterfly 🦋..The body has Mr. Deebi written in gold wire...and on one wing written in golden wire is Deebi..The other wing is to write the name of his bbff on....Oh..yeah...nearly forgot..that when you hold yours in your hand tightly...it plays “Weightless by Marconi Union..to send out some peaceful healing vibes into your heart.....I hope you like it honey...and Mr.Deebi likes his also....

I hope you have a peaceful and beautifully relaxing sleep tonight...with dreams of rainbows, dragons, pixies, fairies and angels...

Love you greatly Deebi.....🐻🤗💜..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....🦋🕊🌱🦄....always here or you beautiful lady..

[demonblaster]

Hi there dear Peppystar ☘ our gorgeous Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and any readers ☺

Lovely Peppy hi darlz always lovely seeing you thank you for dropping by hun 🤗

True lovey still struggles but definately content and very happy with the lovely man. He' a real sweety.

Yip the foots such a nuisance and yes the water was awesome I'll try and go more often we had such fun.
Supersouls to you too me darlin 🤗☘ thanks hun 💗

Hey gorgeous friend 😀 so lovely seeing you and what absolutely gorgeous gifts you gave us. Wow they're superb. Mr Deebi said thank you very much he'll wear his and me mine on Thursday we're going out to a xmas lunch and carols. Love the Golden wire and your names on the wings how gorgeous hun love them. The crystals so beautiful too. Clever darling you're so gorgeous I can see you put a lot of detail in them and time 🤗

So glad you liked your bubble 😊

What a beautiful post Grandy that one about getting to know eachother you gave and give so much reassurance and comfort. Forever grateful for our amazing 🤝👩‍❤️‍👩💜

Oh the little foot emoji 😂

Love and care so deeply Grandy you're so important to me darlin and I know many people too. Thank you so much for your friendship and kindness you too Peppy and other beauties here.

Oh Grandz Im on antibiotics for UTI going ok and wont be seeing the lovely nurse anymore she loved coming here I make her laugh shes a sweety. So botties better just need to be careful. Yay.

Hope you're good huns always 🗯🐻🤗✨👼🐕🐶🐅🐩⚘😚☄👀

[Ggrand]

Dearest Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and all 🤗..

Awe poor honey I hope your headache 🤕 has gone or at least eased off a bit for you.....Please drink heaps of water to stay hydrated....and get plenty of rest/sleep..if you can..

Our air is full of smoke..not able to see the mountains or even the trees closer...It’s terrible..but I’m sure no where near as bad as where the fires are and our brave firefighter are experiencing.....Inside day for me...

Your Christmas lunch sounds nice..I am so pleased you liked the little gifts and will wear them.....My op shop has their Christmas dinner on the 4th of December..Betty and newbie asked if I will take them...Wasn’t going to go..but will now..I don’t want to let them down...

Awe your having a run of infections...I hope your UTI clears up quickly...that would also be making you tired while your body is fighting of the infection....Please be kind to you and look after you...Glad the carbuncles have run their course and no longer a bother for you..let’s hope they stay away...

Just thought I would drop off a pair of Christmas earrings..in the shape of a tree 🌲..that plays “We wish you a Merry Christmas”..when you press the little button....

Please be okay beautiful bbff....both mh and physical health..always...Love you to over the moon and back..your friendship is golden honey....Tied by a golden thread from my heart to your heart....unbreakable....

Keeping close 👀 on you honey and holding you tightly..🤝..

Love and hugs dearest bbff..🌜🐻🤗🌛....and everyone...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🐆🐅🐕🐩👨‍💼🌛...💜🕊🌱.

[Ggrand]

Dear Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

My bad honey..I’m sorry about your friend..It’s so sad getting bad news about our friends....Here for you sweety if you want/need to talk....

Big love...dearest bbff....

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🌜💜🤗🌛....

[demonblaster]

Hi my/our gorgeous so lovely seeing you 👩‍❤️‍👩🤗

? Trigger.

My heads only starting to behave had 4 lots of 2 otc. Woke up and it was bad too. Thanks darlin heart 😚

Oh Grandz sad news he took his life bugger it. Things must have been very bad for him. Wish I didnt know how I keep thinking.

Sweetyheart thanks for your beautiful post love you so much honey. Always need you.

Bbl sweets 👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗🗯😚☄👼👨‍⚕️💼⚘

[Ggrand]

Dearest Deebi..

Im so deeply sorry honey....big hugs beautiful friend...bbl...

Grandy....💜🤗....

[Paw Prints]

Oh Lass,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you gentle hugs xxxx

Paws