Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hiya beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone ☺

Always so nice to see you 🤗

Loneliness is very cruel. I know I too wiwip 😢 every day we miss that rl contact it really sads me. Solid close friendships like these are valuable and precious.

Just finished a call with the bloke I like, he asked me to tea tomoz at his place. Be nice getting out for a bit not that I'm feeling alone or sad but good to be out tho.

So pleased you enjoyed our beach time. Love you so much dear Grandy floss ☺ 🤝

That's right I remember you saying you dont get a lot of mania poor darling. They knock us about dont they esp mixed. I hope you're coping precious lady keep in mind it'll pass and you are strong enough to get through.

Yes true about Doc Martin. I love the show and scenery but completely hear you hun.

You're sweet I'm ok atm except this bloody headache I cant shift. Had a good run for a bit but for a few days was waking with bang bangs and did this morn but caught it before it got way worse.

We do think alike in a few ways I've noticed which is neat ☺ love we chat about all sorts of stuff.

😅 you're so clever my little fix it friend. The stethoscope sounds really good. Sure I saw it somewhere here 🤔
Lol orders please Drs.

Wow wee can the heavens spare the 34 drops of rain 😆
You sure cop extreme weather there.

Oh Grandz vrrr 🏍.. I'm there for mudcake with yum icing lets boogie 💃 come on Paws Peppy and other lovelies

You too lovely are a very treasured true friend. Deep love sweetyheart. You're give a beautiful light in my days. Thank you for that gorgeous 🐻🤗🍫🗯✨🏍💃

PubAok BPaly sweetyheart 😚

[Ggrand]

Hello Gorgeous Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I’m very happy for you with your dinner date tonight....I hope your headache stays away and you have the best time ever....I brought my bag 💼 with me.....I thought I could have a look inside and drop you off some new things for tonight.....now let’s take a look 👀 inside 💼 and see what I have for you...Oh no..not you honey...or you’ll spoil my surprise....You stand over their while I look 👀.....hmmm...now this looks it is your colour...oh where is it.... boom here it is 💄... and this one as well 💅....Here I’ll put it on your nails..you just sit and relax... 💅 hmm looks great....Now some new clothes..👗👡..and accessories..👒 👛 👜 💍 🥽oops wrong glasses..😁..you need to look cool...I think these ones..🕶..yes and beautiful butterfly 🦋 clip for your hair.....hmmm..you look stunning....all that’s left to do now...is to enjoy yourself..☺️....

I am sorry your getting those yucky headaches..I wish they would choof off completely for you...

Oh no Deebi...When I took the mud cake out of the pan...😂🤣..Oh ooo...it stuck and the centre bottom was..well let’s just say...left in the pan...so I decided after my inner critic just 🤣😂 at me..and I didn’t listen...I changed my mud cake into a trifle...I added some red jelly, yummy custard..plenty of strawberries..it tasted good...Me one...beasty zero....

How are you feeling today 💖 lovely one?....I hope you’ve got better weather where you are...it’s blowing cold mini hurricanes here...not sure what I’ll get up to..but it will be something inside for sure....brrrr 🥶 outside..

Enjoy your day dearest best friend and tonight as well....I’ll sit up for you and make sure your okay before I bed down for the night.....Love you dearest Deebi..💖...🌜🐻🤗🌛....

Kind thoughts....love and hugs everyone 💖🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🦄👼...4eva in my 💓....bbff...

[demonblaster]

Ohh my lovely bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone ☺

😀 You're so gorgeous looking after me so well. Thank you so much. I love the nail polish. Loved being pampered too sweetyheart.
How gorgeous you are and the pretty butterfly hairclip ohhh you're so precious.
And the clothes fit nicely thank you so very much.

Did I spot a 🍫 in your 💼 oh how I😍 your bag.

It was a lovely roast chook meal. Couple of drinks & good company. His brother I didnt see as much. So was him and his housemate I've met before. Nice.

Good thanks lovey today.
Blaghh your weathers icky, you'd love it here hun. Geez I wish 😢and often think about your place and stars. Us chatting away 🤝

You get yourself off to bed now beautiful I'm home safe. You really are such a beautiful friend.
Really love you Grandy precious lady.

Hope todays been easier on you darlin. And everyone hope life gives some good light.

Thanks honey yAdimh lysvm pubAok. Stashes of love 🤗

🌜👩‍❤️‍👩💜🌛

🗯✨🍫🕊💼👀🐻🤗😚⛅

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (and a wave to all),

I’m very happy to hear that you have been spending time with the man you like. It sounds like you’re getting to know each other a bit better, which is lovely. I think it’s great that you met his housemate as well 🙂

I agree with you that loneliness is its own kind of pain, and I feel sad to hear that you’ve been feeling lonesome...I understand about meaningful connections and their importance, in terms of good mental health...

The mud cake that you shared with Grandy sounds delicious! Do I get a piece?

Big and warm Supersoul hugs and much love from me.

Peppystar xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..Peppy🍀..

Thank you last night for letting me you got home safely..I was going to pop in last night to say thank you..but with this wind and with my internet dropping in and out...I decided to save me feeling grrr.😠...and upset if it did..I waited for today😂..

Your night out sounds like you had some enjoyment..I’m so pleased for you..and the baked dinner sounds yummy...Ummmm 🤔..did you save me some😋.. especially the roasted potatoes 🥔...It’s really something special eating with company...instead of by ourselves...Food and drink taste better eating with friends....I’m very proud of you for going out..Well done honey..Hmm a beautiful rose 🌹....between 🍃 two leaves....

Oh Deebi..you looked gorgeous last night..I sneaked a peeky look in through your window... Oh I’m sorry honey that I tripped 🙃 over your little pot plant on your patio...and made a mess..The wind hopefully will blow away the dirt I couldn’t put back in the pot..😂..

Ahhh..so you have some cold winds blowing..out your way..I hope they are not as strong or as cold here..keep warm bbff...The weird unpredictable weather that starts our springtime off..is the cause of many people catching colds and flu 🤧...Please...sweetheart try to keep your body temperature as stable as possible..eat plenty of veggies and drink plenty of water....Don’t want you to get any kind of cold or sniffles...Your still recovering from ouchy operation and it takes time to re build our immune system after such a bad infection and fever.....please be careful Deebi...and everyone 🤗...stay cuddled up under a nice warm blanky...

Oh...Peppy of course you have some..but the cake kinda broke away from the pan..and it’s now a truffle....still yummy...Peppy, Birdy, Paws, Starts, Mr Croix, everyone is always invited to come..it’s one huge invitation to all of BB users...to come along...💖...

I think one of the containers of pumpkin soup I froze will go well for dinner tonight...still got a couple left...Will get out now....

I hope you day is a nice, relaxing, peaceful day today...

Love you dear besty....🦄👼💖...

Kind thought, Love and warming up hugs....

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy 🥶🥶🌹🦋🦋.....🐻🤗

[demonblaster]

Hiyaz lovely Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and Peppystar ☘

Thank you both for your time and loving support you dear little chickadees 🤗

It was nice thanks Peps we talk on the phone a bit too but he's to be married sometime in the future so it's good friends. Good bloke.

I'm ok thanks sweety but have been coccooning a bit lately, partly before anyway was when the botty was sore. Going to catch up with a besty near future we chat on msgr a fair bit. The other one hasnt been able to make our regular lunches for a bit but all good.

Oh sweety you're always welcome to join us anytime lovely esp with mudcake turned into trifle, clever isnt she our dear Grandy 💜

Hope you're ok sweety girl. I keep an 👁 on you 🤗☘🕊🤝☺🍰

Hey ya gorgeous always lovely seeing you too precious friend 🤗
You're very welcome sweety. Love that you stayed up you're so beautiful.

Yes darlin did you see that plate in the fridge with extra roast spuds. Oh yeah arent they yum.
Yip it was nice eating with people.
Ohh how sweet a Rose between two leaves that's so lovely and that's ok I sorted the pot plant 😆Oh and thank you for saying I looked nice. Ha ha I'm glad you peeky booed 😀

You know I think often about you Grandz daily. Move over with the MRI 😅. Checking Drs notes first I was smiling. God I love you. So much to smile about with you precious friend 😚

Ok I'm cooking us Silverside and did rissoles to freeze down so will have some veg. Been eating fruit.

So happy I vacuumed yesterday and today changed the bed flipped mattress 💪 and cooking. Oh did some art too.

Mhw tomoz and daily dressings. It's now 2 cm deep and looking clean so thats great. Still being lightly packed.

I am keeping warm beautiful. Love you saying that 🤗You stay under blanky to won't you.

Good girl still got soup. I go mental on it but have one to cook up. Enjoy that sweety.

Yes all our gorgeous friends are always welcome to our cake and cuppas.

Love and so much care dear friend. PubAok hope your physical healths holding lovey and of course mh.

👩‍❤️‍👩💜💼🍰🐶🕊💫🌱🐻🤗🌱

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi...

I hope your day was a good day...with your mh guy...He sounds nice and very helpful towards you and your mh....

Wow yesterday you done heaps of work...Hmmm 🤔 flipped the mattress is heavy and awkward work....I really hope you took your time and didn’t hurt your shoulders, back or neck honey...I do get very concerned with you doing heavy things...I know we need to at times..just gently reminding you to not rush heavy lifting....please 🤗..

Silverside is yummy...I don’t have much because idk I must do wrong..it never tastes good....I never cooked these Aussie meals much..Hubby being European didn’t like nothing much except European meals... In a way I’m learning as I go...Lamb I never had until I first tried it a few years ago...and it’s yummy...

So happy for you that your healing well....won’t be long honey and it will all be behind you....

I have to make sure that your well looked after...I imagined us at times squished up going into the MRI tunnel..😂...Love looking after my bbff....So very pleased we met and getting to know each other....

How are you feeling today honey?....it’s warmer here today and warming up daily to reach 28 on Sunday...Yucky hot weather...I’m pleased you fixed your pig face plant...I bought one of those cross lettuces and planted the roots a few weeks ago...it’s growing more leaves on it..I love mixed garden salads in summer with an oil and lemon dressing I make...

Thank you for keeping me some roasted potatoes..Tell your guy friend that they were cooked perfectly and I give him a 10...

My physical health is okay Deebi...just tired a lot..and achey where arthritis has decided to take up residence with me...

Enjoy your evening Deebi....as best as you can....love you ever so much...💖🐻🤗..

Kind thoughts.... love and hugs 💖🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....🌜🤝🌛....

[demonblaster]

Hi beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone ☺

So lovely seeing you thank you darlin ☺

Yes thanks he really is a top bloke and very good atv what he does. Excellent.

Yes I'm dubious doing any lifting too. I know you look after me so well gorgeous. So appreciated.

Cool the lettuce sounds good. Didnt know about the cross type. Neat.

Pig face is still alive and growing on the window sill. Hope it flowers. So pretty.

Oh yeah lambs beautiful. With the silverside if you put in the water a few bay leaves desert spoon or more brown sugar and is it a cup or half a cup of brown vinegar and cook it for about half hr for every 500gms. They take usually at least a couple hrs on simmer. Thats for our meals oh and I saved you meat as well with the spuds. I only had meat for lunch but I'll do veg tomoz for us and the furs can visit too if they like.

Trying to choof a headache lovely otherwise good thanks slept a lot today was tired but didnt the last two days.

Your meds are heavy and heart probs I think add to tiredness sweety. Nasty stuff arthritis.

Hope mentally you're ok honey 🤗

Love you heaps darlin thank you being such a love 💫 👩‍❤️‍👩💜💼🦄🕊💪

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Thank you very much for giving me a recipe for silverside...I will give it a go next pension day...I remember mum cooking corned beef..I like that as well but harder to get..I imagine it’s the same recipe for silverside...both nice cold on sandwiches....

I hoped you managed to choof away your head ache honey..they are horrid and exhausting to our mind and body..I haven’t had for a few weeks..

Yep...arthritis is yucky...

In the super market..coss and other varieties are the ones in a cone shaped plastic wrap..with their roots still on...If you cut the roots of and put in a glass of water or put in a pot..it’s like Magic new leaves grow...I’m a big lettuce, tomato, and fruit eater in summer..easy and healthy...

How is your neck, shoulders, back feeling today after doing so much cleaning up the other day?....I hope your okay..but please let me know if not..I pwoomish I won’t go tch..tch..tch..about your mattress.....

Today here is so lovely...sun shining, no winds..I hope your weather is good as well where you live...sigh...wiwawyip...

I hope your day today was and is peaceful and enjoyable for you...Please honey...even if it’s for only a little bit of time..find a nice sunny spot to sit on your patio or inside to get some heat from the sun into you....I don’t know how but it does help us with our mh and sleep....

Please be very gentle on you..my beautiful bbff...look after you as I would you.....if I was their..

Sending you my love, care and love....oops ..it’s okay if I send it twice..I have so much for you.....💓🐻🤗..

Kind thoughts....love and hugs everyone..💖🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🦄👼🦋🌹💫

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone ☺👋

Our darling Grandy so noce seeing you 😊🤗

Had a quick catch up with gorgeous mil this eve and told her more about you like checking the notes and being supervisor 😍 told her again after we laughed and said how beautiful and that you're funny that you love her and she said again too she loves you as well. So cute you two.

Oh sorry and an onion in with silverside and its more like 40 mins per 500 kg cooking. Then when cooked when meat slides away from knife or poker leave in the hot water as long as you can.

Thanks asking lovey yip all seems good. I vacuumed separate day to bed. Did other little bits too. 😊 love your pwoomish & tch tch tch.

Did a tiny walk this eve but was a hill.

MIL's been very tired too. Same.

Oh recipe for silverside cooking on the pkt I get them at Coles.

Good you eat the healthy salads. They are nice.

I'd be 100% if I looked after myself like you do ya gorgeous. Same wiwawyip 😢 I hope you're looking after yourself too sweetyheart 💜

How lovely sending me two lots of love same have so much for you too beautiful. Stashes of love for you gorgeous friend 🤗😚

Please bAok ydimh lysvm 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🌱💫💼🤝👁🕊

Hope you're well Grandy love.