Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hi there Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all ☺

I'm waiting in a bus stop, had no choice got here way too early. Bit chilly but not too bad.

What a sweety Belinda bear is oh love squuezing her and the glitter dust comes out 😀 oh wow then did deep breaths and was transported with the beautiful nature sounds to the ocean and forrest, how gorgeous thanks Grandy love that.

Thanks Grandy yip she'd be worried. (Mil) so no need unless we need to which I don't think so but am prepared in case.

Wow big sleep Grandy you must have been tired. I like the chase, dont watch it all the time but its good and I like the English compare better.

That was really lovely was just reading about the rain fslling gently into the earth. Thanks darlin 🤗

Hope you get a good sleep poor darlin sounds like its all over the shop.

Love you sweetyheart. Have a lovely day and everyone else here too

👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🗯💖💗🗯🐻🤗🌅

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....and all others 🤗..

Oh ...That is so early to be waiting for a bus..It would still be dark...I remember before you saying that you don’t like being outside in the dark..I hope you were okay honey...Are you public transport all the way..or is community bus/car picking you up?.....

Im pleased you liked Belinda Bear and used her to comfort you...I was thinking we should go into toy making for mh..we come up with some beautiful ideas..we could call our toys...comfort toys. 🧸...I think a lot would buy them...Love the sound of the rain..but not on meditation vids..just not the same sound...

How are you feeling honey...both physically and mentally?...

Oh yeah..my sleep is all over the place...will try not to day sleep today.... something about going to bed I don’t like...?..Yet I love my day sleep when I do....I use my lounge for daytime sleep.....I’ll get back on track..

Please have something to eat if your out at lunch time..I just dropped off at yours some yummy biscuits I made..triple choc chip ones....and I put some jonquils on you coffee table..with a little note saying...”Sweet smelling and beautiful flowers for the best and one and only beautiful spirit soul sissyter”......with love Grandy...

Please be okay..always honey...and look after your beautiful self...the best you can....Meant to ask you..if you have a date for your operation..If it’s okay and when you do...and you feel to share..I really would love to know...🤝🤝👀

Sending you my love and comforting hugs..💖💜🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🧸🦉🦅🦍🐐🌹..

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and lovely people ☺

Always lovely to see you thank you for being such a lovely supportive friend. I moved over for you 🤗 so had U/S and dropped off paper work. Caught 5 buses if the weren't different places could have been 4. About 3 & half hrs travel.
Found out today August 12th for op. Have to go in again for pre op paperwork.

My foots very sore Grandz, different shoes but worn them for yrs or the big walk don't know. Back still leaning on getting up.
Thanks asking. Mentally good. Had a sleep sarvo was lovely not long up.

Was a 7am bus so had gotten light thanks for your concern beautiful. I could have gotten up later but that way I can cruise into it.
Buses all the way. I use community transport for medical which is mostly a car.

Ok lets go into toys. Liking that idea and we have the imaginations.

How awful for you not wanting to bed. I remember you having a long time trouble poor love. Day sleeps are treasures arent they. How do we know to wake ratjer than keep sleeping.

Ohh thank you the triple choc biccies were a treat oh and Jonquils what a darling you are LOVE the scent and such a sweet note you're so lovely 🤗😚

Thank you for being so incredibly loving and looking after me so well. Love you Mrs bbff always

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯👀🏍🤝🌅🐻🤗💗🌱⚘

[Ggrand]

Good Night Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone 🤗..

It wasn’t as squishy as the mri scan was.😂..I’ts quite interesting watching the tv screen..but not fun with that camera..poor sweety...it’s over with now....

August 12th..deep thanks for letting me know..I really appreciate it so much....I needed to know....I’ll be right their next to you and telling the Drs how much you mean to me..Hard to do..I know honey..but please try hard to not stress about operation...they probably do thousands a year...

Your poor foot....I’m sorry it’s really sore...Not sure honey....maybe the shoes you wore today..you said worn them for years..maybe they contributed to the start of sore foot..could be the supports have collapsed..Just a thought...maybe if you can...please try hard tomorrow to do foot exercise and maybe a massage with some cream....

I told Kya and Ebony about your operation and they want me to send you their love and they want to give you their favourite toy..🐖 a rubber noisey pig..if you squeeze it..it goes...oink...oink...quite loudly....😂 it’s okay with me if they give it away.....It might be a bit chewed up and overly played with😂😂...

Have you got someone to look after you your first day home?....how long do you think you’ll be in hospital for..If I knew which hospital?...I would visit you and bring you a big bunch of flowers...

Im the same..I need at least 2 hours before I go to work...I can’t just get up and go..I know lots of people can get up and be out their door in half hour or less....I’m still half asleep 💤.....and need a couple of cups of tea..before I am fully awake...🤗..

Okay Deebi...I’m trying to bed now..I hope your okay and you have a huge deep sleep....Love you dearest bbff..💖🤗..

Good night honey..hoping you sleep nice and deeply and dream nice and sweetly...🌝🌟💥🌟🌝💤🌈..

Love and hugs...💜💖🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄👼..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (and a wave to all),

The 12th is pretty soon. So I’m extra glad you’re reaching out to 2 offline besties for support/help. I think that will make a world of difference.

What a lot of travelling you did the other day! I hope the bus rides were at least relaxing. Sometimes staring out the window and taking in sights can be quite calming...

That sounds very painful and unpleasant. I wonder if maybe you could ask your doctor if there’s specialty footwear that might give you better support (e.g. shoe orthotics, orthopaedic footwear, etc). If s/he recommends something, maybe you could also ask if there’s any way that it could be subsidised; I understand your budget is tight. Just a little idea...

Supersoul hugs and much love,

Peppystar xoxo

[demonblaster]

Hey darlin friends and anyone reading ☺

Peppystar thank you lovely yes the 12th is just around the corner I'll be looking back on it in no time.

Yes its lovely scenery which makes the world of difference. I like just watching as we do life and people doing their thing.

Good idea I'll get this sorted and see Dr I suspect that little lump in the foots causing some probs. Maybe get Xrays too.

Back at you lovely super souls and much love 🤗💗☺☘

Hey Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩
How sweet you popping in to wish a good night sleep. Hope you did too huns.

😅 yes much more room this time you're so gorgeous I love that 😀 thank you for everything beautiful friend 🤗

So cute you telling Drs how much I mean to you ahh you're a special 💜
Yip I'm ok about the op thanks gorgeous.

Foots eased off a fair bit wow it was really performing. Could be but I think the hills stirred it but dunno. Bloody nuisance.

Ahhhh little Kya and Ebony giving me their fave toy and you letting them thats so adorabubble thank you all oh I'll trasure it and oink it often 😆🐖

Haven't asked one of the bestys and gavent heard back from telling her, she was away and other besty said ok to stay but I really wanna come home so not sure lovey.

I drink mostly water occasionalky make coffee & if out or visiting. Its amazing how quick you can get ready if you have too but these days I give longer when I can to just mozey along.

I've caught several headaches but this one I had meds and will again. I wake to very bad dreams or nightmares and a friend said and I too when I'm cold, amazing the mind looking after us alerting of trouble.

Love you Grandy lysvm thankyou for being such a beautiful friend and soul sis 🤗
PubAok yAdimh wiwawyip I've got a ? coming 4u. Had to Graft it on., please ubAok 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🗯🐖🏋️‍♀️🏍🐻🤗😂

[Paw Prints]

Dear DB,

The 12th is good, you will be back home before you know it lass. 💗

The foot is not so good, the lovely Peppy has the right idea, time to see your Dr.

I went looking for Kahlua choccies.....good news: they do still make them......bad news: but only in the USA... You can buy them through ebay but shipping is $$$$....Perhaps as a treat ??? once???

Biggest hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Good Night beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Its so good to hear you drink mostly water..I do as well..love my cuppa tea as well...I like fizzy spring water the best..

Still going to be keeping an eye on you even though you say your alright with your op..,Holding your hand as you go about your daily chores..and when your asleep...not letting you go.....oh that means I can come to your out with your besty tomorrow...Hmmm I’ll have a sweet ☕️ and a piece of Black Forest cake....I hope you enjoy your time tomorrow....

Please have a lovely day tomorrow..I’m leaving early..so I’m going to bed now....just wanted to wish you a good sleep, nice dreams and a nice time tomorrow......Will speak tomorrow night if that’s okay....love you very much...💖🌈🦋🦅🙋🏻‍♀️🌟🌹...

Sweet Dreams everyone...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄👼🌈🌹💖🦋🦘🐨✈️🤝🤝🤝🤝.

[demonblaster]

Hi dear Paws 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 & all ☺

Oh Paws thats such good news they're absolutely yum. What a shame they'd ve exy. Dunno why they stopped they sell grog. Glad you sussed that ☺

Yes the 12th isnt far off.
Really wish my foot would settle actually dont think it was from big walk cause no extra pain after.

Take good care Paws thank you so much 🤗 whoppers back ☺⚘

Hey sweety you've got a big day ahead. Please be so very careful darlin. I think its great what you're doing.

You're really sweet wishing me a good sleep, cant seem to get enough these days. Feeling ok though not down.

I love always have fizzy drinks but dont very often now. So you like fizzy spring water you can put Lemon or a flavour in if you wanted too.

Oh you're SO lovely holding my hand throughout.
I postponed today with besty, just so tired so we going next wk you're welcome to come and I'll shout you som Black forrest cake honey 🤗

Yes no problem and I imagine you'll be quite tired so if you just wanna say hi and that you're safe I completely understand sweety.

Thank you Grandy love please look after yourself I really hope it's not too stressful.
Love you very much 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🗯

[Paw Prints]

Hello DB,

Hope you are feeling a bit brighter today lass. You do seem to be so very tired lately.

Have you done any of your art over the weekend? As I ask this I realise I don't actually know what type of art you do, apart from your card for your mil. I would like to know.

Which reminds me, I read a meme recently that fits me perfectly " I've just discovered that buying art/craft & doing art/craft are two separate hobbies" 😀

Biggest hugs

Paws