Sharing strategies to help with PTSD

[PamelaR]

One of my biggest learnings has been - PTSD is not like a broken arm. When you break your arm, it mends. PTSD is with you for life. It took me ages to recognise that I'd been triggered. Some of the simplest things - like going to the shopping centre at the beginning of winter and seeing the multi-colour shirts - red, blue, black squares. The hardest part for me is identifying the trigger because the pacing heart, the sweats, the panic, the fear doesn't happen immediately. It happens after I walk out of the shopping centre.For the first few years after being diagnosed with PTSD I was hell bent on identifying the trigger. Now - I don't worry. I simple accept I'm triggered - do my breathing, relaxation to beautiful music, write down my feelings and emotions, talk with my husband. Let him know I've been triggered. Most times my cats won't come near me while I'm working through a 'phase', but they certainly know when I've come out the other side. They come and give me lots of comfort and love. The down side of how I manage is to drink alcohol - to stop the feelings and emotions. It doesn't work, but it helps go to sleep. I'm not recommending drinking as a strategy!!

I have had 2 excellent psychologists that helped me. It's important to find someone other than those close to you to talk to. One was very good at helping me identify what was happening - e.g. being super alert, wanting to save or please people. Recognising these things helped to build better relationships with my work colleagues and my friends. I have conversations in my head - oh, you just want to please because something has frightened you. Then I say - you're okay, you're safe, you can say what you need to.

Basically, the strategy of self talk in a challenging way - I challenge what I'm doing, what I'm thinking. But I also recognise the little girl who screams out when things happen and comfort her. Very important to know she hurts terribly and needs comfort. The comfort she never received as a child.

[PamelaR]

Hello Grandy, wave 👋 to everyone else

Your thanks are greatly appreciated Grandy. Next Tuesday is a big day for you. Why don't you have a party Tuesday evening on BB forums, if you're up to it? What do you reckon - to celebrate getting through the day?

I think it's so good you've found Beyond Blue! So am I. It's made so much of a difference to my life already. I was up today making a dairy free, gluten free cake for my friend's daughter's birthday. Then I've just finished making a gluten free - spinach loaf. Haven't made one in a couple of months.

I know what you mean about acting on impulse - I used to do that too. Then I developed a technique of saying to myself STOP (when I was in real anxiety mode).

S .... for Stop

T.... for Think (about the situation)

O.... for Observe (what's going on - is my response okay. Am I being impulsive?If NO, then go to P, if YES, go back to T)

P.... for Proceed (continue on in my response)

It's taken me years to get the hang of it. Basically it's routine now and I have pleasantly surprised myself how much it works for me.

Do you have anything lined up for tomorrow?

Big Hugs 🤗🤗 coming your way.

🦋PamelaR

[PamelaR]

Ahh Amanda, sorry to hear that March is not a good month for you too:( Those are 3 big life changing events for you. Can't even being to imagine the impact on your life. Losing your first love would be so hard, then for your uncle to suicide 10 years later..... Ohhhhh. Sending you virtual hugs Amanda.

I am pleased though that you may find my post to Grandy useful for yourself. I do hope so.

Have you ever set up a ritual to honour your first love and your uncle, e.g. raising a glass of your chosen beverage, remembering your good times with them, shedding a tear?

Had you planned what to do on the anniversaries? Did you want to set up times, dates and topics with some of us on BB? I'm sure lots of people will be into that.

Are you trying to reduce any additional stress you may have on those days? Like organising a community bus or community transport service to take your hubby to any appts he may have on those days? But then I think that may cause more stress for you in the long run.

So, let me know when and what time you'd like to set up a time for us to discuss - anything you'd like to that makes you happy.

Be kind to yourself

Sending lots of virtual hugs 🤗🤗

PamelaR

[Ggrand]

Hello Pamela,

Thank you so very much for your kindness and time, it really does mean a lot to me.

Wow Pamela your Stop technique sound really fantastic, how intelligent are you for constructing that plan. I really do thank you for sharing that with me..

I have started several journals, One has the beautiful poems from Tony, another I have started with coping tools, this STOP one will be definitely going on my first page.

I have done many stupid things on impulse 3 I can't say here on your thread but an anniversary of one is this month, so this will help me in unlimited situations once I can utilise it properly.

Im a bit shamed to answer your post to me on my other thread, but will do so sometime today as I put as much as I can of my journey on their as reference to see my progress or lack of it when I read back sometimes.

Pamela every day sometimes night I make plans for the next day, maybe a walk, a sit outside, sewing but when the next day comes, I have no incentive to do anything, I'm just so meh, flat, no joy in anything. I know I have to change, but how? Work in progress try to change.

Thank you again for your kindness,

Please be kind to you always.

Kindness only,

Grandy👼

[PamelaR]

Hello all

I haven't written anything on this thread for awhile. I've been tracking others threads and newbies. It's time I wrote something here!!

How have I coped all these years without going really mad. There are so many things that have worked in my favour. I:

• never remembered by sexual abuse
• remembered by emotional and physical abuse. And did something about it.
• have had some excellent people to help and support me.
• have a good attitude to a healthy lifestyle. Eat well.
• exercised regularly - cycle, swim, walk, yoga. Now I just walk and do meditative yoga when necessary.
• have social groups to keep my mind occupied.
• have a good MI team - my GP, psychologist and hubby.
• have very close friends who I can divulge my pain, sorrow and sadness.
• getting some pets.

All these have helped me to live a fairly reasonable life.

Because I recently changed my circumstances, i.e. I retired, things became 'chaotic'. I'm now back on track and visiting a psychologist who has helped me become aware of my triggers. It's helped me tremendously and I'm emerging to be as whole again as I can be.

[Lady_Stardust]

Hello, everyone.

First time poster in this thread, not first time posting in this board. I don’t want to write about why I’m here again, it was difficult enough to make a topic the first time; if you’re interested in knowing details, my own thread isn’t hard to find.
I don’t really know if this is exactly the correct place to post about this, and I haven’t been diagnosed with PTSD in any form because, well, I’ve never told a professional about what happened.

Anyway, I was wondering how people cope with triggers? I experienced one last night most unexpectedly. I was watching an episode of CSI: Miami and it brought on flashbacks. Troubling and unexpected, and to be honest frustrating, because I like CSI: Miami.

I experienced the same thing with a movie, though to a far more extreme level. It left me feeling panicked and distressed and I wasn’t sure what to do. I guess the obvious thing to do would be to avoid films and shows with content that will upset me, but 1) sometimes I don’t know there will be such content, and 2) I want to be able to watch something without feeling so terrible.

Any strategies, advice, anything is so welcome.

[PamelaR]

Hi Lady Stardust

Sorry it's taken so long to get back to you. I've been away camping. Returned a short time ago. I'll ready your thread in the coming days as I settle myself back into a routine.

I really know what you mean about - movies. I also find the news a trigger. I get triggered all the time. I try not to watch the movies. I generally don't watch the news or current affair programs. Having said that, I do watch movies and dramas I shouldn't. Sometimes, I can't get my heart palpitations under control, but I try. I then get upset with myself for watching it.

I can't not watch movies, especially when they're good!! So, I just try to make myself aware that it will happen. In some instances, there are shows that I now refuse to watch, e.g. Silent Witness (it really hits the mark). I used to watch CSI and generally never found it triggering, though stopped watching because it was a bit repetitive.

I haven't yet worked out how to switch off so that I don't feel so terrible after watching something that is 'terrible'. I think what I have done is acknowledge that - well, yeah this may or may not trigger me. But the cast is good, the story lines sounds great, so it's not going to stop me. Hang the consequences.

What I do now, is talk about the movie/show after seeing it and talk about the emotions it has brought up and to reinforce to myself I'm safe. Sometime it helps, but can't say it's a solution.

Let me know how you go Lady Stardust.

[labradoodle]

Hi Lady Stardust and welcome. Hi Pamela Bindi and Amanda I hope you are going well. Dealing with triggers is a hard one to answer. Myself my PTSD was caused by several truck accidents close together. Like Pamela I try to avoid the news for this reason turned on my computer yesterday to see that bridge collapse in Florida and bam it hit me. Went to work but struggled.For me my CBT training and as Pamela will say breathing techniques and grounding techniques got me through. But still feeling the aftershocks. BB counsellors are always available to talk to and I have found everyone of them I have spoken to has been fantastic. It helps to let someone you know and trust that you have been triggered they might not be able to help but let them be aware. I also find writing a post and reading other people's posts helpful as I have written before it helps to know you are not the only person dealing with this. Amanda I hope you are going well at work and the exposure to your work environment is helping to lessen the effects. Lady Stardust I used to watch dash cam drivers Australia to how stupid some drivers are but cannot watch it now I feel why put myself through the stressors. If you are not sure what grounding techniques are one I use is to scrunch your toes feel your socks shoes whatever just concentrate on that and let it bring you back to the here and now. Stay brave Labradoodle

[PamelaR]

Hiya Labradoodle. Great to see you back. So is that profile pic your Labradoodle?

So good that you've been able to add some help for triggers. Wonderful - thank you.

Lady Stardust, There are other posts here for 'grounding', can't remember where exactly, but do a search and you should find the thread.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Elizabeth CP]

I realise my situation is very different from others on this thread but wondered if anyone had ideas to cope with the strong feeling of anxiety following a trigger. Today I looked up the weather forcast which warned of smoke haze. I then checked the website to find where fire were. Even though none were threatening us seeing all the bush & grassfires & alerts from them triggered a reallly intense feeling of anxiety. I feel stupid because I know I'm safe & they are of no threat to anyone close to me but I still react as if they are. Later at church some people started talking about the fires. I elt crippled by the anxiety & unable to speak out of fear of completely losing control. I wish I could move overseas away from the situation except my family are here.

[PamelaR]

Hello Elizabeth CP

I'm only imagining how you feel atm with the threat of smoke haze and fire.

1.You are not stupid. Anxiety is real and needs to be treated as such. So pls be kind to yourself.

2. Not sure how much I can help. Happy for anyone else to jump in with ideas. I've worked were I solve problems, so you've set me a problem and all I can offer are some ideas. I am a little surprised though the therapist you see hasn't given you any practical examples. It might be really good to talk about specific triggers with her/him.

Ok, here are some ideas:

• in first instance, i usually recommend slowing your breath right down. Focussing on your breath as you breath in through your nose and as you breath out through your mouth. Generally to the count of 4 or more. However, if smoke is about or you perceive that it is, then the smell is not going to help you. I'm not sure how it works with just breathing in and out through your mouth. But you could try that I guess. Remembering to focus on the breath and take your time.

• do you like fragrances, aroma therapy products?? Lavender for instance on a tissue or handkerchief? And breath in with this?

• get out of the area. Go kilometres away, to the beach and walk along it searching rock pools. Diverting your mind away from what's happening elsewhere.

• going to the beach. Sit, feel the sand for the count of 5, smell the sea air for the count of 4, listen the the waves breaking for the count of 3, touch the water for the count of 2, look at the little creatures in the rock pool for count of 1. Continue this rhythm for awhile. Change the counting to suit your self, thought the important part is to focus on feeling, smelling, listening, touching, looking. Ground yourself.

• going to the beach. Do some yoga and/or mindfulness. Build sand castles, make moots so intruders or fires can't get in.

• going to the beach. Thinking about how to redirect negative thoughts about fires. This is where it really gets tough and don't go there if you're not ready. You have to be feeling like you can do this. You don't have to do it either until you are ready.... Go back to what causes the anxiety (fear I expect). Get to the point of rational thinking - list what it is that causes the fear, list what it is that does not have to cause fear (e.g. not in the area you live). Once you have your list, then think about the weighting of fears against no fear. What is the reality of it. Don't worry if you're not yet at this point. It's ok.

Many 🤗 & ❤️