Sad musings

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall...

I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why.

Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration).

All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets.

Pepper

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/beautiful b,

I’m so relieved to hear from you. I have been very worried. I can’t even imagine how traumatic and frightening last Saturday must have been...I’m so thankful that you’re okay for now...

I hope that you and your family get through Friday. I’m with you in spirit, my friend.

Take your time with posts and replies. The most important thing now is your own mental health and safety...take good care of yourself, my friend...

Love, hugs and the biggest blessings of safety and protection to you and your family.

Pepper xoxox

[Birdy77]

Thank you so much darl ❤

I would have messaged you earlier, but our power and phone connections have either been down or intermittent since NYE.

I don't think tomorrow will be as bad as last Saturday, but they are saying be prepared for it to be. So we are.

It's just such a terrible time for so many 😔 we've been lucky so far, so many aroubd us have lost every earthly possession.

Thank you as always for your love and care, and for being with us in spirit tomorrow.

Thanks also from mrs b, she said to say.

And the boys, they said to say.

And the chooks (they said to say).

😘

Love,

🌻b xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/beautiful b,

Again, so relieved you’re okay for now, and trying to remain hopeful for tomorrow. Please tell mrs b & your boys & your hens that I said hello 🙂

I have colleagues with loved ones who live in bush fire affected areas who have been so stressed & worried...I could see the worry on their faces, even when they were outwardly smiling this week...

I can’t even imagine how traumatic and painful it must be to lose everything. It’s really heartbreaking...it saddens me, but also reminds me that those of us who are relatively unaffected have immense power to help out.

I suppose my way of coping is partly to try to stay informed & to try to help out. I have been reading about ways that we can all help out, & I have been trying to do my small part to share that information & encourage everyone that I know to contribute/help out in any way that they can e.g. donations, sharing information, etc.

It’s not much individually for most people, but you know: the cumulative effect is powerful (& sorely needed right now). I truly believe that.

I really hope that you, your loving family and home remain safe tomorrow.

In some eastern cultures, we call on our ancestors for protection, in times of need & distress...

I‘m not a very spiritual person, but if it helps, I have been asking my ancestors to help keep you, mrs b, your boys, your hens and your nephew safe tomorrow.

Much love and endless safety blessings for the rest of summer,

Pepper xoxox

[Birdy77]

❤ thank you Pepper ❤

❤ thank you ❤

xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Stay safe, my friend. Stay safe.

Look after yourselves...

Sending love, hope and more blessings of protection to all of you xoxox

[Birdy77]

Hello Beautiful Friend ❤

I have come by tonight to see how you are.

How are things in your world?

How are you feeling?

Are you taking good care of yourself?

Are you tuning in to what you need and giving yourself those things?

I think of you, and i care for you a lot.

With love,

🌻 me xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/beautiful b (& a wave to all),

How lovely to see you here. What a blessing. A very warm hug of comfort and love from me to you.

Thank you so much for being here. That means a lot, especially when I know how hard things have been for you, my friend.

I have been struggling. Although I try not to focus so much on the struggle itself these days, & more on developing my capacity to cope during adversity. Accepting & learning how to cope better with the ebb & flow 😉

You once shared this:

True strength is not
found in the stone
but in the water
that shaped the stone.

- L. R. Knost


Now, if water isn’t the greatest example of ebb & flow, I don’t know what is (laughs). If I can get a firm grasp of that one day, that really will be quite the day...

The spiritual connection between nature & life is such an important part of many eastern philosophies. I’m speaking very broadly here...obviously I know those philosophies are more complex than that.

Anyway, a spiritual connection with nature was a big part of my upbringing (or if only I had paid more attention). It was a big part of my heritage...

A spiritual connection that was not about “consuming” or trying to “own” or take from nature, or looking at nature in terms of what it could do for me. But more about feeling a connection to it...a respect for it...

Now, if only I can figure out how to tap more into that intrinsic/tacit knowledge somehow...

Sorry, not sure if I’m making much sense right now...

How have things been for you, lovely friend?

I think about you often, send my blessings and care very much about how you are doing.

Sending hope, encouragement, comfort & much love to you & your family xoxox

[Birdy77]

Hello beautiful friend ❤

I loved reading your post and hearing how you are taking care of yourself through allowing all those feelings to have their time & space.

I love how you are practicing things that have been part of your upbringing and heritage. So many life lessons can drawn from nature, it contains many powerful spiritual metaphors.

Speaking of, i really like your new profile pic.

I am sad to hear that you have been struggling. I have been sending you positive vibes, even though i have not posted very much the last while. But perhaps these difficult, heavy feelings of yours just need their time for now.

I hope you read the danielle koepke words (thank you xo) you posted yesterday (?) and hear them ring true in your heart as well ❤

Even though i havent been able to post, i think of you so often, and always want the very best for you. Please know that i hold you dear in my heart and my silence does not reflect absence of care in any way. I hope you know that is true.

I am feeling incredibly drained. During the high stress period we've had over the summer, on top of that (or maybe exacerbated by it) mrs b and i hit a really rocky patch and that has just been the biggest added emotional strain. We have had big talks, and many tears, and we're going to be ok, but with everything else going on, it's been a bit exhausting. I am tired.

Hey, how's your repertoire of plant-based-domestic-goddess-creations-in-30-minutes-or-less coming along? 😃

(I accidentally created a delicious and speedy shortcut to gozleme heaven if you want to be in on my secret. 5 minutes max.)


Lots of love ❤

🌻b xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/beautiful b (& a wave to all),

You sound so tired. Your spirit sounds weary. Gentle hugs & a nourishing cup of herbal tea from me...

Summer must have been (& must still be) so difficult, dear friend.The sheer emotional & physical toll of it all.

No wonder you’re feeling drained....the unpredictability, fear & devastation...

On top of that, the rocky patch with mrs b would have been rough. That would have been very painful...hitting those patches with loved ones is never easy or pleasant, my friend.

I’m happy you seem to have talked things through & let some of your feelings out. I hope it all works out for both of you 🙂

Lovely friend, I know you care. Thank you for the loving reassurance and reminder, my friend. The positive vibes have been gratefully accepted (thank you) & I’m sending some of hope & comfort in return...

I just didn’t want to complain/carry on too much about my own life when I knew you had the wildfires, amongst other things, to contend with...gentle hugs...

Yes, I agree nature has a lot to teach us about life...

A couple of days after I mentioned how it would be “quite the day” if I was able to truly grasp what ebb & flow meant in life...that same week, I finally understood something.

I have had a loose understanding of ebb & flow for some time. I let my emotions run its natural course (or as much as I can)...but it wasn’t till last week that I felt a moment of genuine peace for the 1st time in my whole life.

It was a different feeling to joy, elation or excitement. I felt grounded. Both feet on the ground. But of course, just like everything else, even feelings of peace come & go.

Letting go of my need to control my own emotions has been key to a certain freedom. The struggles are still there & the pain is still there, but my perspective has shifted...

Thank you, I like my new profile pic too. Just water: nature’s best teacher of ebb & flow. Of Impermanence.

Your 5 min gozleme is impressive! I would I love in on your secret recipe?

I have mostly just been making salads (easy & fast). I keep promising myself that I’ll be more adventurous, but I’m usually not in the mood to cook after work.

I was thinking of making plant based sushi & pasta last week, but somehow that “became” a salad (laughs).

I think of you, care deeply about you & really hope things start improving for you soon. That you’ll be back on track with mrs b. That you’ll continue to see more signs of hope.

How has your week been so far?

With love xoxox

[Birdy77]

Hi gorgeous friend ❤

That is so wonderful to hear of your experience of peace as you loosened the reins of trying to control all the emotions.

As you say, that feeling (of peace) will come and go as well, because it's all impermament right?

What a breakthrough moment! Loved hearing about that, my friend.

I've been trying to practice a similar thing for a while, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. That big thing of accepting life "just as it is" rather than struggling against it or craving a different feeling.

Accepting and owning the hard feelings, letting them have the airspace they need. Without wishing them away. It's a big challenge. I usually just want to feel better. Which i guess is human nature.

Hmmmm ....

Hey and you can "carry on" just as much as you need to - it's not carry-on in the least. I always am interested in what is going on for you, (no matter what is going on fir me) and this space here is for you to talk about your feelings, your hopes and dreams and fears and difficulties. To safely unburden yourself even just a smidgen.

Always listening to and caring about you.

It's the season for lovely fresh salads anyway, and so healthy. You will get there with other recipes, i know whipping up a storm in the kitchen isn't exactly your fave activity, especially after a long day at work.

Quick 5 min gozleme: are you familiar with mountain bread? Those flat square wraps that are super thin like a crepe? Lay one of those flat on your benchtop, sprinkle it with shredded vegan cheese, then chopped baby spinach, bit of salt and pepper (Pepper xo) then sprinkle with nooch (nutritional yeast). Roll it up like a swiss roll. Heat up a little olive oil in a frypan and put your roll in that, turning it over maybe after 1 minute and onto the other side, until the wrap is nicely browned and the insides are melty and delish. Slice into 4 or so pieces or just eat like a wrap. So quick and so yummy scrummy.

How is your week so far? I woke at 4 am with high anxiety, my mind just really went to town. I feel a bit better now.

Much love,

🌻b xo