Sad musings

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall...

I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why.

Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration).

All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets.

Pepper

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/beautiful birdy (and a wave to all),

How lovely to see you here. Always heartfelt gratitude for your friendship, insight and compassion. Thank you, dear friend....

I also really enjoy getting ready for events too. A famous person once said she actually enjoyed getting ready to go out more than going out itself 🙂

A dress and tossing up between stilettos or heeled boots for the art thing. So it’s weighing up a stylistic choice of a little more glamour or a little more “edge.” Figuring out which pair of earrings as well and my makeup too 🙂

Thank you for your kindness and gentle reassurance. That means a lot, dear friend. See how the art thing goes... I definitely want to try to mingling though.

It sounds like you were reading something very interesting yesterday. I’m curious and would love to hear more about it...you seem to do a fair amount of reading, which is great. If there’s anything else you would like to share or discuss from that source (or otherwise), I’m all ears.

It’s all good. Please take your time with the satay recipe. It sounds delicious and while I would love to learn it, there’s absolutely no rush...just when and if you have the time and feel like writing it down 😉

Do you have any weekend plans, dear friend?

I think of you often and send warmth, compassion and love to you. Also, I’m sending some gentle hugs, in case you might need them. You can share those hugs with your boys too if you like 🙂

Pepper xoxox

[Birdy77]

Dear beautiful friend,

I just wanted to pop in and say I hope you have fun at the Art Thing, and also have fun preparing, pump some music maybe, enjoying dolling-up 😊 your outfit sounds lovely either way - see how the mood strikes you.

I hope you enjoy the art, and that maybe you get to chat to an interesting person or two. Love to hear how it goes.

Do I have any plans? Well if this morning's shenanigans are anything to go by, I shall be spending most of today fishing a certain boy out of the chook pen every 5 or so minutes. I've fixed three sections of fence already, he has developed ninja moves which are really, really annoying!! I had to laugh at one point I saw him doing it and he looked just like a monkey. Then i put my stern face back on before he saw me 🤨

Apart from that thrilling proposition, not much on the cards for me except there's a chance mrs b may come home 😊 but not getting my hopes up. I might dye my hair. The weather is forecast for more of your avatar, so I won't be doing too much outside anyway, but if it holds up for a while I might go for walk at the beach, amongst the dark clouds.

I haven't found that thing I wanted to share yet, but I will.

Thanks for the hugs, some back for you too ❤

🌻birdy xo

[Birdy77]

Very Yummy Vegan Satay 😊

1. Heat a tablespoon or so of oil (eg. Coconut Oil, Peanut Oil, Rice Bran Oil etc) in a pan, and add a medium chopped onion.

2. Add a couple of chopped or minced cloves of garlic and sautee this with the onion for a few minutes.

3. Grate/shred a block of tofu (eg. 350g) and add this to the pan. Cook this for a few minutes, stirring. If the tofu sticks to the bottom, don't worry because we will be adding liquid which will lift it.

4. Add to the pan: (these are approximate measures and can be amended);
1 tbsp soy sauce,
2 tsp curry powder (or maybe a smidge more),
3 tbsp peanut butter
2 tsp vegan Worcestershire sauce,
3 tsp sugar
2 chilli / sweet chilli sauce.

5. Stir to combine.

6. Add some veg such as frozen corn kernels, chopped baby spinach, chopped broccoli.

7. Pour in a can of coconut milk. Stir and reduce to a simmer.

8. It will thicken as you cook it, add some hot water if needed.

9. Serve with roti and/or jasmine rice, chopped coriander if you like it, and some hemp seeds sprinkled on top if you have them.

❤❤❤

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/dear birdy (and a wave to all),

What an honour to learn the recipe . That means a lot as I know how much you enjoy cooking. birdy’s special satay recipe. I can’t wait to try it one day 🙂 Thank you so very much, dear friend...

Hopefully beautiful mrs b returns sooner than later, but I also understand that you don’t want to get your hopes up, just in case. I know you have been missing her beautiful company & presence. I would love to know when she returns, whenever that may be. Just so I can rejoice/celebrate with you 🙂

How can anyone get cross at your boy’s cheeky ways? Annoying at times, yes, but I bet he knows how adorable & loved he is, so that’s probably why he tests your patience 😉 Was your stern face effective?

Congratulations on fixing 3 sections of fence. That’s a major achievement and I’m very proud of you and happy for you. Impressive work!

Did you end up going for a walk? I know weather that matches my avatar is probably not the best for outdoors activities. There are probably about 99 awful things related to rain & thunderstorms.

But if nothing else, I once said if you see rain or a thunderstorm to think of it as me sending special blessings & love to you & your love, mrs b. That still stands 🙂

Thank you, you’re very thoughtful & caring to think of me & wish me well. I enjoyed it & I’m glad that I went.

It has been a bit of a rough week for various reasons, so I wasn’t really in the mood to socialise when time came. I was tempted to cancel but decided to follow through with my initial decision to go.

It was an eclectic mix of people. I ended up spending most of my time talking to a small group of people. Met some interesting characters & I was glad that I didn’t cancel. The art was okay; I didn’t love it or hate it. In some ways, neutral is worse.

My mood wasn’t so great even 30 minutes before the art thing started. I tried to let it just ebb and flow as much as I could. Let it run its natural course, with minimal obstruction or analysis from me. I don’t necessarily do that when I’m at work, dealing with family, other obligations, etc as grit, pushing through, etc applies. But outside those Walls of Duty & Obligation, I try to allow myself that space.

Thank you again for being here and for sharing your satay recipe. I actually have all the ingredients except for the vegan Worcestershire sauce.

As always, I’m very grateful for your friendship. How fortunate are those of us who get to call you friend?

Love you xoxox

[Birdy77]

Dear gorgeous friend,

I'm so pleased you went and enjoyed yourself! It can be so tempting, & so easy to cancel these things when we're not in the mood, especially when you were feeling blah 30 minutes prior. It's excellent that you went, even if the art wasn't up to much.

I'm glad you got to meet & chat to a few interesting folk. Crowds at these things can be very unpredictable can't they? Did you decide to wear the boots or the stilettos in the end?

I'm sorry to hear you had a rough week darl - is there anything you wanted to get off your chest? I felt bad the other day, I feel like I glossed over when you said your mood plummeted, I meant to ask you if you wanted to talk anything through, but I didn't, I'm really sorry. I am always here for you.

I'm happy you now have the satay recipe, it's an easy dinner that is made in under half an hour. All the amounts are approximate, I don't use measuring spoons , I just whack it in, so I had to sort of estimate. With the sweet chilli sauce it should be approx 2 tbsp ... I just wrote 2 sweet chilli sauce. Cups full? Buckets full? Let's just keep it at tablespoons for now. Oh!! And!! I left out an important detail, sprinkle with crushed peanuts, even yummier if you can dry fry them in a non stick pan first. Oh!! And!! Make it a hard or extra firm block of tofu (not silken).

Yes cheeky monkey I think knows he's a bit too cute, so tests the old patience. I won this battle because he didn't get into the girl's pen today. Score One for me. Hope I haven't jinxed myself.

I had a great day today, I spent it playing all day in my veg patch. One of my compost heaps was ready for it to be forked out & onto the garden. One of my favourite things to do! I love compost, it is such an incredibly cool thing to witness the whole beautiful cycle. It seriously gives me a lot of joy.

Did you have a nice relaxing Sunday?

mrs b is hoping to come home tomorrow, it will be lovely to have her home after a month!

I think I might have blabbed on too long, my character counter no longer works, so it's always a guess for me now!

Love you xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/ beautiful birdy (& a wave to all)

That’s wonderful news! I hope mrs b comes home today too 🙂 That will be a very special reunion.

What a precious, tender moment it will be. You must have so much to catch up on in person. It will be so comforting to have her by your side again, in person, again. I really hope you see her again today/tonight 🙂

I’m glad your stern face was effective. Your boy might get too used to it after a while though. So maybe start practising alternative facial expressions (just in case) 😉

I’m very happy you had such a lovely Sunday. I know your garden is your sanctuary; a place of peace, healing & nurturing. Witnessing the compost cycle sounds truly magical.

I feel your ability to nurture is moving; it seems to come so naturally to you. I think that quality in you is lovely.

Do you have any garden or home projects this week?

Thanks so much again for sharing your recipe. I’m moved that you made time & put in effort to write it for me. I prefer rough estimates over precise measurements in cooking 😉 The fried peanuts with the satay sounds delicious!

Lovely friend, please don’t apologise as I feel there’s seriously no need. I know it comes from a place of caring because you’re a very thoughtful & compassionate person. But it’s okay, you have nothing to be sorry for.

I ended up opting for the stilettos for the art thing 🙂 Sunday was rough. Went out for dinner with friends and had a few drinks. That helped dull the ache for a bit & when the alcohol wore off, I had a little cry.

I think it’s a range of things getting to me. But I also feel there’s not much that I can do other than let it run its course (or at least when I can). I don’t say this as a defeatist, but because I have a certain awareness of how my own emotions work.

So I just let my mood ebb & flow when I can & as much as I feel able to at any given point in time. Try to let it wash over me when I’m not fulfilling a duty/obligation.

Outside of obligation/duty, if I feel down, I feel down & if I feel joy, I feel joy. The same concept applies to other emotions. I just try to let it all run its natural course.

Thanks again for your gorgeous company here. As always, if you ever want/need to talk about anything, ups & downs (full breadth of human emotions & experiences), you have a friend in me. Free rein 😉

My love to your beautiful self and your beautiful mrs b. I hope you have a wonderful reunion. Love you xoxox

[Ggrand]

Hello Gentle Peppy, and sweet Birdy..,

If it’s okay I would also like to say how happy I am for you that Mrs b will hopefully be home tonight, a lovely warm celebration for her home coming lovely lady....🎊🎉🎀..Oh Birdy I’ll just drop these at yours 🥁🎹🎷🎺🎸🎼🎤🎧..The grandees (Deebi band) will do a gig free of charge for you tonight...we’ve been practicing..We’re quite good now...but just in case..🎧🎧🎧..one for you..Mrs b , and Peppy.....

Peppy....I was saddened to read you had a little cry after the alcohol wore off after your night out..That’s okay sweety...it’s okay to cry...I feel it’s the only way to cleanse our soul....🤗 soul hugs Peppy..I wish it was so much different for you dear friend...I wish you could have a life of happiness....

Its good you went to the art thing..it sounds like it lifted your spirits a bit and you enjoyed your night out...Wow you must have good balance being able to walk in stilettos...When I was young we used to have platforms..😂kind of walking on small stilts...with our feet flat..stilettos I think your walking tippie toes all the time....

I think it’s good thinking that you let your moods go with the ebb and flow of life...maybe that’s how the universe intended us to live....I’m not sure....Gee isn’t it hard to work ourselves out...one day I know we all will....

Birdy I loved hearing you say you had a great day playing in your veggie patch and compost heap....enjoy precious lady....that’s what a part of life is for....enjoying ourselves...and it doesn’t matter how we do it...as long as we do.....I hope your doing good dear lovely friend.

Oh That recipe sounds yummy...I do like tofu..I 🤔 think...I can’t remember.....

I hope you both have a lovely week with good time outweighing the bads....

Love, care and warm soul hugs to you both 🤗💖💜 and anyone reading...that means you bbff🤗💜..and the others....

Grandy...

[Birdy77]

Hello there my friends 😊

Wow Grandy, you & Deebs are such amazing musicians. A little birdy told me (😁) that you have been practicing over on Sir Croix's iceberg at 3am - you can really tell, the Grandees are totally rockin it.

I have the most incredible idea. This is going to blow your minds. Are you ready? You know Aunty Deebsta's Beasty Beanies? Well, why don't you record The Grandees music inside those so that when you say "Ready Please Mr Music" The Grandees plays? Is that the most brilliant idea you've heard all day?????

Thank you for being happy for mrs b's return. It's lovely to have her home at least for a little while. She will have to go back at some point, but hopefully will be able to stay home for a couple of weeks 🤞. She has had time off work without pay, so she is keen to get back to work as well. So much drama going on up there 🙁. She breathed such a sigh of gratefulness to be home as soon as she was in the house. The boys went bananas.

I am glad you went out to dinner with some friends on Sunday my friend, I hope that made the day a little better for you at least for a few hours. I'm sorry the rest of the day was so rough.

It's really good that you are able to let the emotions come and go as you do. I think allowing that takes some practice, but ultimately I think that's the answer to life's problems, so you're sure onto something there.

I understand, you have a range of various things going on that are making life rough for you. Please know I am always here for you if you want to talk anything through.

After I posted the satay recipe to you I keep thinking if these things to add! If you have coconut aminos, add some of that with the soy sauce etc. Worth getting some anyway if you like having stir fries etc. Grandy, maybe you can try the recipe too? I have only recently started enjoying tofu in the last couple of years because I didn't really know how to use it in a yummy way before. Now I make loads of things with it including very delicious vegan ricotta - it goes wonderfully, for instance, in spanakopita and spinach & ricotta canneloni/ravioli or pasties etc. Really easy to make too.

Darl, thank you for the tip on practicing some different facials, I need them because the score since I last updated you is cheeky boy 7, me 0.

I better stop because i might have run out of room.

xoxoxo me

[Peppermintbach]

Hi gorgeous Grandy (& a wave to all),

The grandees sound like they know how to put on a show & have a good time. How generous and thoughtful to perform for mrs b’s homecoming. I’m sure she felt very honoured that you thought of her 🙂

Thank you for the very tender well wishes, lovely one. That warmed my heart.

I like the sound of your old platforms. You still see plenty of them in shops & online these days. They would now be considered retro or vintage 🙂

I’m still figuring out the ebb & flow thing, but I‘ll spare you my musings. Thanks again for thinking of me and writing to me. It’s lovely to see your gorgeous self here. Love and care xoxo

Darling friend/ dear birdy,

I’m so happy & relieved that you have mrs b by your side again (in person). Even though it will only be for a couple of weeks, I think it’s still very special to see her for a bit. She sounds as though she is happy to be home too. I’m smiling for both of you & your dogs (a reunited family).

Things sound very stressful at your in-laws place. You must feel for mrs b. She’s going through so much, and leave without pay must be adding another layer of unneeded stress. I’m thinking of her, but I know she has your support & love, and that is something very special 🙂

I had to look up coconut aminos as I hadn’t heard of it before. Thanks for the tip! I’m glad you’re exploring tofu more these days. It’s very versatile because it absorbs flavour easily. I’m actually pretty familiar with tofu 😉

Thank you, I really don’t have the whole ebb & flow thing down pat. I’m still learning a lot. It’s an evolving process. It’s definitely not easy & I still struggle with it.

I have been teary a lot lately. Too many things to be able to articulate. It’s hard to explain because it’s a range of issues...

But it really does mean a lot that you’re here for me, dear friend. That genuine sentiment/offer alone is comforting & reassuring. If you ever need to unload any struggles/pain or just chat, I’m here for you too...please know that...as always, free rein 🙂

In happier news, I’ll be going to an innovation/technology/science thing later this week. I’ve never been to anything like that before so I’m excited. I’m trying out more things that pique my interest to experience more & meet new people 🙂

How have you been, dear friend?

Thank you for being the beautiful person you are. Sending love to you, mrs b & your boys xoxox

[Birdy77]

Hello friend ❤

Well things haven't really gone to plan and our family reunion was short lived. She's gone again 😔

I'm sorry you've been teary darl, but on the other hand, it's better to cry when you need to cry, rather than holding it all in. I understand if you don't want to talk about it. But I am sitting and listening if you feel like talking it through.

Sometimes I just sit and cry and cry, and it's just a bunch if stuff accumulated, not a specific thing. I understand.

With the ebb and flow thing, I think that is the human experience, not to have a total grip on it ... I think that is why spiritual teachers etc call these stuff "practice". You know, that's what monks do, that's what spiritual leaders do, they "practice" ... even they don't purport to be experts, so I think it's a natural thing for some periods, some days, some moments, to be better than others. The fact that you're aware of it, and in touch with what's going on for yourself is a wonderful thing.

Wow, you have such an awesome array of interests, I'm so pleased to hear you are going to this science/technology/innovation fair. It's so cool that you are planning all these events to step out of your comfort zone. It's brilliant! Please let me know how it goes?

Love

🌻birdy xoxo