Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

It’s great that you are feeling so well and things are going really good at work. However, I would still listen very carefully to the psychologist and your partner as they have been observing your mood and behaviour first hand.

Your mood does sound a bit elevated to me by what you are saying and the way you write so please just be careful and take extra care of yourself.

I know I wasn’t always aware my mood was high until I finally crashed into a low mood. I don’t want this to happen to you so please be aware this is a real possibility.

Try and slow down and not be so ‘driven’ and try not to jump from one thing to another erratically.

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗🙏

[Saree_p]

Hi Jojo,

Got taken to the emergency department by police and ambulance onthuraday night. They deemed i was too high. The emergency doctor medicated me and demanded i wait for the mh team psychiatrist. He basically didn't even look at the information. Knew nothing. Knew I hadn't taken meds for a month. But literally sent me home as medication a double dose of whatever they gave me plus what they gave me to strap me into the ambulance.

But back to the state everyone was complaining about

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Sorry to hear you were taken to hospital by the police which is always very distressing. Please listen to reason and those around you who obviously care very much about your welfare. They can’t all be wrong about your behaviour.

How is your mood now? I just worry everything is going to spiral out of control which is the last thing you need.

Take care my friend and try to calm down and not be so hyper xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗👋

[Saree_p]

Thanks Jojo,

Mood is getting back up there.
We restart my meds on smaller dosages bit I simply feel like they are knocking me around. Its like my body is fighting bothe side, sleep v awake.

Tomorrow everyone sounds get the notes from hospital so see how that goes.... but no follow ups for another 2 weeks at this stage.

I seriously don't think its that bad but apparently everyone saw it coming....

[Saree_p]

my partner gave me an ultimatum. i take my medication or we are done.

[Saree_p]

I feel so betrayed. He has basically made the decision but left the responsibility with me.
 

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

That’s good they are getting your notes from the hospital and gradually restarting your medication. It is unfortunate the meds are not completely agreeing with you, but once you get a combination that suits you things should improve.

With regards to your partner’s ultimatum that is something only you can decide what to do. All I can say is he has stuck by you for quite some time now so it would be really sad to lose his support. It must be really difficult for him to watch your struggles with your mh.

You have reached another crossroads Saree. It’s up to you to decide which way to go xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗👋

[Saree_p]

Earlist support i can get is next week.

[Saree_p]

Boo,

Back on medication, fun side over. instead, sinking, sinking, sinking.

There is nothing but conflict between me and my partner and I am completely alone. what the point? the continuous battle to continuously fail.

We have fought non-stop and basically, I am the biggest failure and waste of space. What am I supposed to do?

I just want to give up and leave this world.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Saree,

We're sorry to hear things are so tough with your partner at the moment. We understand how alone this can leave you feeling, but please do remember that you aren't alone. Our community cares for you, and we think you are valuable. We're getting in touch privately to check in.

Remember that if at any point you become a danger to yourself, please contact 000 (triple zero) as this is an emergency.

If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help you get through this difficult time.