Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Saree_p]

Hi Jojo,

Glad to hear your friend will be ok. Hopefully all will settle down for her now.

On verge of quitting work.

Not heard a thing.

Community psych got back in contact after GP appointment nearly 2 weeks ago. I rang her back last week, still haven't heard anything.

Give up.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Sorry to hear things are not going well at work. What has happened? You seemed so happy when you first started.

How is your mood atm?

That’s great you are getting some exercise with netball and are eating a good diet. How are you sleeping?

I had a complete makeover of my backyard today. All the overgrown shrubs are gone and I now have a selection of dwarf natives- mainly grevillaes. It looks really good.

Look after yourself Saree this time will pass. You have a bright future ahead of you. Remember the good times xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼👋🤗

[Saree_p]

Hi Jojo,

Sounds so awesome 😊

Job is bad because of work environment. Job is potentially awesome and my manager is awesome (but about to walk to). I guess a huge problem is boredom and then the last lot of mood issue have been noticed, and they r extreme no matter the fact I tried to hide it....

Tonight has been bad.

Not sure what to do anymore Jojo, think we are seriously st the point of considering I can't work anymore.... who am I?

Know bf is waiting for me to come to bed safely so better.
Sorry

[smallwolf]

Hi Saree,

It sucks not knowing what the future holds and without knowing what areas you work in there are always possibilities. Or a possibility of moving into a new area.

A long time ago there were people who looked after printing functions when bills were generated to send to customers. One of the staff would read to overcome the boredom.

Hope your bf was a distraction and you had a good night's rest.

Btw on way to prac now for counseling. For me a better day of what was a very average to bad week

Tim

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Sorry your job is not working out. Boredom can be a killer and your low mood would not help matters. It doesn’t necessarily mean you are now unable to work. It means finding something more suitable for you.

When I was working I switched to part-time hours to manage my health better. Perhaps this is an option you might consider?

You are still you - the strong, resilient, vibrant, amazing person you have always been. You are just living under a dark cloud at the moment, but with help there are sunny days ahead.

I am really enjoying my new garden and so is Poppy who has explored just about every square inch lol!

Sending you positive thoughts xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🐾

[Saree_p]

Sorry to you both,

Been meaning to respond for days now... just not sure how to or what to say.

Mood has been real low, currently work has flown me out for training and sitting in hotel room. Just got off phone from bf. Just feel so so low. put on the happy mask - just not coping at all.

Really want to raise the white flag - give up on any system being of help. none are.

Sorry guys

[smallwolf]

Hey, please don't feel any pressure to reply. Just do what you have to do. We will always be here for you.

If you do come back soon, tell me all about the hotel room. Call it a distraction exercise. How big? Colour? Smell? Does it look nice. Engaging all your senses?

Peace and comforting thoughts to you,
Tim

[Saree_p]

Thanks Tim,

The room is a normal size for a motel sorta thing.
I got through, just needed to not leave the room.

Hopefully today will be ok and go home.

Not sure what's so exciting about that, nothing will change in regards to head space but I guess Will feel a little more safe.

Sorry all

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

It’s okay if you don’t feel like posting or replying. I know how hard it is to make the effort to do anything when feeling really low.

Well done for going on the training course as that would have taken a lot of strength feeling the way you are.

Hope you have finally got appointments for the psychiatrist and psychologist as you definitely need their support.

Take good care of yourself xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼

[Saree_p]

Sorry guys,

On way back to airport now, just wanna curl up.

Been getting a lot of physical issues with this depression. I simply don't have the energy to do what I should or need to and everything is to much and too hard. Feel so stupid for being so useless.

Still an uphill battle with professionals and I'm too tired to be bothered anymore.
Private psychiatrist is booked in for the 16th of December. But then my GP isn't there after and it's all too hard.
Community mental health psychologist is simply not returning calls to me or partner- after she rang me... So just had enough.

Relieved to be going home, but then gotta get up and go to work. Just can't. Just don't see any other way out of all this.

Bf will be wanting to do lots of things this weekend, as it's a long weekend. I simply don't want to people. I have limited tolerance and just don't wanna people.

How's the exercises Tim?
How's the garden Jojo?

Sorry friends,

Saree