Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Hope things go well with your GP and the CAT team today. Please let me know what happens.

How is the cake making going? Did you pick any tips up from Masterchef?

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

[Saree_p]

Hi Jojo,

Lots and lots of work stuff happened - the fun side was a 1am dance party till sometime 💃🎶

Forgot about the GP

Haven't heard from the CAT Team.

The Cake was an epic fail. Cooking was fine, but completely stuffed the icing and threw it 🤣🙃 So sister's fiance will do tomorrow - complete failure.

Just got back from a walk - pretty lights, climbed the bridge - was wonderful - headphones for music went flat so had to return.

Apparently, no one can understand me atm lol. Everyone is so so slow.

Jojo, this is just too much fun. and now its the weekend.

Hope you had a wonderful day - I almost forgot to check here today.

Saree

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Sounds like you are having a great time, but you are racing. Everyone is not slow you are very fast! Hard to keep up with.

You probably don’t want to hear this, but you sound really revved up again. Try and calm down just a notch.

Will you see your GP next week?

Enjoy the weekend and birthday party and stay safe xox

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

[Saree_p]

Just literally got 4 warnings to slow down, they are all crazy. Completely odd as no one normally notices at all.

Nah, haven't got anything booked.
Work a 50+ hour week I think. Took on meds training today.

I can't sit still Jojo, I tried several times, I just can't. And colours are really bright and intriguing atm, it's wonderful.

Doubt will hear from CAT team, they knock off at 9pm. considering the were supposed to ring at 12.30 n organise to drop by. Doubt thsts happening lol. Said id be home as had to cook the cake. I have no idea what possessed me to even try that hehe

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Slow down slow down slow down slow down slow down slow down!!

If 4 people have noticed the change in you they are not crazy just trying to help. Sorry to burst your bubble, but this is not a good place to be.

Be careful not to take any risks when you are like this as everything can seem really wonderful. Your judgement might be a bit out. Just mentioning this as I am worried about you.

Calm down calm down calm down calm down calm down calm down!!

Take good care of yourself xox

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

[Saree_p]

I'm Sorry Jojo. I really don't want to listen to you, but I trust you and see the worry - what should I do?

No one knows about the diagnosis, and I think it's only cause dealing with mum bday dinner tomorrow night that I am speaking to people.

Jojo you seem really panicked for me?

Trying to slow down a bit more now. I think first time I have sat down all day, really struggling. Bottoms of feet are red raw from last 4 days.

Also struggling with the unknown of the CAT Team, wondering why they need to be involved and then aren't.

Jojo, is there things you think I should do.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

I know you won’t feel like it, but one of the best things you can do for yourself is to get some sleep.

Try not to jump from one thing to another. Do things that calm you down such as listen to relaxing music or drink herbal tea or have a bath/shower with lavender bath salts or shower gel.

Take good care of yourself xox

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

[Saree_p]

Thanks Jojo,

I will try - I can't promise anything. I started to feel tired last night and tried to sleep and then couldn't. I was so awake and pumped, I had to dance it out.

Mind you, Tinsel keeps trying to snuggle in. I am just getting annoyed with her. But maybe I should just try to snuggle with her.

Hope you have a good night

[Saree_p]

Silly me Jojo,

I tried to put on master chef (as been enjoying it) and realised I hadn't eaten all day, so cooking was on the cards...... But stupid me burnt half my hand. Whoops. Almost forgot about the food... n then rushed lol

Oh silly me. Gonna try and go to bed soon.

Sorry,
Saree

[Saree_p]

Well,
Update Jojo.
CAT team have booked an assessment for Thursday. Clearly instructions followed lol n clearly not that bad at all.
Hope ur day was good 😊