Reality check - Anxiety, Depression, PTSD

[Mathy]

Hi All, I live with PTSD, Anxiety and Depression. My PTSD is pretty good, but the other 2 monsters not so. Last year I had arrived at a point where I was medication free, happy and functioning well. Then moving house and an incident at work left me back in the hole again. The work incident was a combination of a complete restructure of my hours and change of leadership - too much change, not handled well. I got suspended, and the process wasn’t handled well, so I bailed out of work for 3 weeks. In 6 years I’ve had 11 managers and #12 arrived 6 months ago, along with a change of 2/3 under managers. New manager is ok (but clueless) and the 2 new “under managers” are inclined to be variously, aggressive, rude and sarcastic. I guess that’s the reality of the “fast paced” world of retai - ha!

Slowly, over the last 6 months I’ve struggled to go to work, get out of bed, lost motivation, and lost the enjoyment of playing my sport - which ironically is important for maintaining my mental health. Sport is golf - so, exercise, challenge, discipline and friendships. I’m single, so this is important to me.

2 weeks ago I ran myself through a checklist and realised that I was NOT travelling at all well, so I upped my ADs and made an appt with my Psych - which is in 3 weeks time. Last Friday I had an enormous panic attack, following a Thursday night at work with the least favourite of the under managers. I guess my mind has decided it’s had enough, I ended up in ER (I’m 61, so can’t assume not a heart attack). So, I now have an appt with GP tomorrow and a sick certificate until next Monday - and I feel like rubbish.

So, if someone says to you that your work rate is “not good enough, *insert my name*”, in front of others, it could be interpreted as a joke or not. I’ve worked for this business for over 9 years, I work my butt off, and I found this insulting, joke or not. What do others feel? If once a week/fortnight one consistently had this sort of, or sarcastic interactions what would you think/feel? I guess I’m trying to decide if I’m being overly sensitive and possibly unfair.

Thoughts would be much appreciated, cheers M 🙂

[demonblaster]

🙂 nah never be sorry for venting, no problemo, that's what here's for and I'm happy to listen and be here for ya.

If I don't come back any periods of time eventually do return, really like being here, good bunch, support and vent too at times.

Sounding positive how you're goin, great you talked to a friend too, it's a release isn't it. Helps when people know where you're at.
Fixing stuff to reduce other hrs. (Y) word gets around, could be a goer. Hope so.

Does sound like you're on the way back up aye, well working towards it. Kudos

Sounds beautiful where you live, yes easy for us to forget the goods we have aye esp when bogged down with the downs, I too live in a beautiful place and often think how lucky I am can walk, see, talk, good people in my life, love/like. This stuff gets buried at times but have a lot to be grateful for.

Ok keep at it you really are sounding like you're gettin this.

[BballJ]

Hi Mathy,

Nothing wrong with having a vent and that is exactly what these forums are for. I like the idea your friend suggested, a little business like that where you are boss I think would alleviate a lot of stress from your life and not have to worry about just going into work. It is nice you have a friend you can speak to about this stuff as well, having the face to face connection is so vital when dealing with mental health concerns.

You're a great person and deserve nothing but happiness so hopefully you can think about what your friend said and maybe will make your life a little less stressful.

My best,

Jay

[Mathy]

Hey DB and Jay, many thanks, for your kind words of support,

I’ve kind of stopped listening to music. Tonight, I prepared my dinner to Santana, Coldplay, Stevie Nicks, Neil Young and U2. Then I watched the sunset over the water, listening to the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah - I’m not religious, it’s just a beautiful piece of music, and had a glass of wine. Step #1 to appreciating what I have 🙂

May you both have a beautiful week, cheers M 🙂

[Guest_128]

Hey Mathy,

I would of loved to have a wine with you and watch the sunset,sounds beautiful.

Dory

[demonblaster]

Thx Mathy, hi guys 🙂

Wow sounds really beautiful, soaking in the goods that's the way, loven your spirit to appreciate what we have, definitely helps doesn't it.

Appreciating you returning and talking

[Mathy]

Dory_ said:

Hey Mathy,

I would of loved to have a wine with you and watch the sunset,sounds beautiful.

Dory

I could imagine you swimming in the lake young Dory 🙂 If I could share I would. I’m on a mission to appreciate what I have,,thanks M 🙂

[Mathy]

Hey Jay, thank you for your considerate and gentle support 👍

[BballJ]

Hi Mathy,

Keep on appreciating the little things, it really is awesome. The night actually sounds quite peaceful that you had. I need to have a relaxing night I think.

Keep up the good work.

My best,

Jay

[Mathy]

Thank you DB, really appreciate you stopping by, cheers M 🙂

[demonblaster]

pleasure Mathy, Hey all 🙂

I love hearing the birdies sing, puts me in another realm of peace, so a few birdies with that scene and Yeah yeah