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"Over Thinking" or "Paranoid Thoughts"?
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I have a tendency to "over think" things (I hope you know what I mean by that) which can spiral into obsessive thoughts and imagining worst outcomes etc.
Just lately I have noticed myself perhaps going a step further when thinking over someone else's actions and/or words - assuming it is a direct personal assault on "me" . I dwell over and over on what they said, the tone of voice used, creating a scenario as to why they did or said a certain thing, what they could be "leading up to" or "covering up" something I need to know. I get more and more anxious as I "imagine" what will be next to happen - (it is always negative and scary). sometimes I imagine the conversations they "could" be having about me behind my back.
sometimes I feel like contacting him/her to have them explain if anything is wrong, and if I misconstrued anything -to reassure me all is OK. But I am too scared to do so, in case it makes things worse, in case they are embarrassed and try to avoid me in the future. . Hardly anyone knows I have such an anxiety problem at all - so I don't want to come across as a "mental case".....(LOL)
Is this sounding a bit paranoid to you? How can I stop imagining the worst possible scenario of events that "might" happen...it's seems so real to me even though I am making it up in my head.
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thought I'd better post, even if only just to keep this thread going. Another huge blow couple of days ago..just when I was beginning to "let it go" accept I had lost my pet and get on with life. someone called and had seen him...in his own backyard.
Tried to approach but other pets started making a noise and he ran off somewhere in fright....but it certainly was him. I drove all the way out there immediately...searching, calling. Standing in the very spot in his backyard where my lost friend had been just the day before. It nearly killed me.
I found the experience gut wrenchingly heart breaking. I was gutted...so near, and yet so far. I almost wish the man had not rung me...but he did do the right thing, I know that. Of course I had "my hopes up". how could I not?
But to know he is out there, alone,not cared for, probably starving now and will die suffering has destroyed me. I cannot take another blow.
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My goodness Moon,
My heart goes out to you. So it apoears your pet did escape. Can you keep searching? If he was in that mans backyard can you bait him? Can council help look for him?
Moon, i feel gutted for you but hope something can be done. I am praying for you Moon.
Cmf x
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Moon, I have put out a call to the friendship circle for you.
We've got you my friend.
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Dear Moon~
I really feel for you, life just will not leave you alone. No doubt you have thought of this, is regularly putting feed in that backyard to make coming to it a habit a possibility?
Croix
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I'm with Croix,
The man was kind enough to call you to let you know, I'm sure he wouldn't mind helping you. It's worth a try.
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Moon, I read back through your thread. It was May 21 when you told us you had been informed your pet had run away and was gone, before that you were told they were not ready to hand him back. I'm guessing he ran away before May 21 and they were covering up, hoping to find him. I'm getting of track, if he was spotted a few days ago he must be getting food from somewhere as it has been over a month. I am hoping to ease your mind as i know you are worried he is suffering.
If that gentleman can help in some way i think it would be great. I really he he can.
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I know he can't last much longer...that's the part that's killing me. I've advised the man what to do, he is very cooperative - would be better if I were in the area, and handy to rush there if ever anyone sees him. I have done all I can - ringing the appropriate places, agencies, ads, photos etc. I am amazed at the turn of events. with him turning up in this man's backyard....God knows where he had been all these weeks.
As Croix said "Life just won't leave me alone will it?" Would you believe in the middle of all this, was driving home and in my suburb yesterday, saw my ex walking along the footpath - was a distance away but I knew exactly where he was going next so I actually changed direction so he would see the car and perhaps give a wave, stop to talk. Why?
I don't want to get back together, and wouldn't even expect him to be sympathetic or understanding. He is one of those who would say "Oh give it a break Moon, it's only a bloody ..........." you;re being a Drama Queen! but his attention was diverted to something else and he never saw me drive past.
You know, all I would have wanted was to say "Please hold me, just hug me, even touch my hand". I was so in need of someone's arms around me in comfort, I was that desperate.....perhaps a good thing he didn't see me I guess.....would have only made me feel worse I suspect, in the long run....I am so sick of all this. Croix I so wish "life would leave me alone". I am so tired with nothing inside except pain and emptiness and feeling of unbearable Helplessness!!!
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Hi Moon
So sorry to hear of the loss of your pet who I'm sure is more of a friend that most humans . I will send positive vibes your way that he comes home to you soon.
unfortunately we are not there to hold you physically but know you are always in our circle and we will hold you up when u need us.
Please take care of yourself
Stressless
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Dear Moon~
No life does not leave you alone and the consequences are very hard for you to bear. Nevertheless you have done what needs doing, not helpless at all, but stacking the odds in your favor as far as they'll go.
We all have our fingers (those that don't have flippers that is) crossed for you.
I guess if your ex was sensitive enough to understand it's not "just a bloody ...", but a big part of your life, he would be a quite different person. Maybe just as well he did not see you, I"m not sure you need another put-down right now.
I left you some movie suggestion to try to take your mind of things.
Croix