Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[demonblaster]

Hello there our darling Starts 🤗

So good seeing you but not knowing you're still struggling.

I sincerely hope there's been at least some better times dear girl to hold in your memories and recall for even temporary reprieve.

You're amongst several loves that have been very missed hun. You've many times been thought of (absolute truth) and wondering how it's been going for you. We never forget people we care about and love.

I maintain you're a true survivor with so much going on you keep going.

Dear girl I wish for you better times.

Glad you're back hun. Our beautiful butterfly with her gorgeous Avatar.

See you around sweet girl 🤗😚 I know you're ok with affection.

Sleep well darls and everyone ⚘

[startingnew]

Thanks everyone for your msgs

im sorry i havent returned them yet. i am struggling. struggling with words. struggling with life. just going to try my best to keep safe right now. i will try and come back soon to write replies. thanks for caring even though i dont really deserve it.

[Ggrand]

Hello Startingnew....

Theres no hurry to reply Start....Just take the very best care you can of you....

Oh Little butterfly 🦋...you couldn’t be more wrong...You very much do deserve our care and love...Please try hard to believe my words...they are the truth...Beasty is trying to lie to you lovely one.....

Always here for you when I can be....

Love and soul hugs dearest 🦋..

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Our darling Starts hi everyone too ☺

Dear girl thanks for your reply. I know I feel that way too about being sorry for not replying but please huns just focus only as you are to look after yourself to keep safe.

So so hard not being able to word isn't it. It'll come later when you're feeling a bit better hopefully.

Agree fully with our beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 that's beastys rot in your ear.

When you get negative thoughts like that sweety talk to it and ask if it's reasonable. Best not to believe anything negative in downs.

You're always, have been and will be worthy of care and love.

So sorry you're in such a hard place.

Take the warmth and power of loving hugs darling friend.

Love SL (Special lady) 🤗😚

[CMF]

Hi SN,

You DO deserve our care, absolutely.

When you fe feel up to it perhaps you can share what's happening, even if just a little bit at a time?

Cmf x

[startingnew]

Thank you DB,CMF, Mrs D Grandy and im so sorry if ive forgotten anyone.

Right now I am so so tired. Im struggling to get out of bed but I have to whether I want to or not. I have no physical or mental energy left


Im struggling with being a carer right now, im really burnout. My pops demenita is worsening, his behaviours are becoming more aggressive (not physically, just tones attitudes and threats) and is becoming a lot more tiresome to me even though ive tried to get some supports. He does have supports in place at least


I also babysit siblings more often then not.Im also tending to an injured horse that required quite a lot of care as well, thankfully its only till thursday till his owner comes back plus my own animals.


Im fidning it hard to ask for help. I have been shutting down more and shing a lot more. I was going well with it but now its started back up again and im really dissapointed in myself. My SI is always so high latley as well. I need some sort of break but im to afraid to even ask for it. I struggle to talk to family because im always in trouble, cant even talk to his professionals most of the time because I get made to look like a fool.


I am also dealing with quite abit of chronic pain and waiting to see a pain specialist and neurologist for an old injury and also the nerve damage that the dentist caused me 2 years ago that still hasnt healed or gotten any better. Along with chronic pain I was also very sick for a while and needed a lot of tests which determined I have a hernia, some stomach ulceration and I also have food allergies that required alot of adjusting as they are main ingredients in just about everything. everything has to be home made now. i have to see an allergenist for further investigations as we feel there is more and they arent managed very well right now.


I am still dealing with the womens health issues. The gyno hasnt been helpful, ive tried everything, even an iud. he still will not run any of the tests that matter and actually show things like a laproscopy. He says he doesnt think I need it but ive done everything hes asked so its getting frustrating and upsetting. When shark week comes around either once every few months or latley every 2 weeks it get so bad I can be bedridden and I struggle to even walk because the amount of pain I get within my pelvis, back, stomach and in my kidney but im not worthy of further investigations.

theres more but i will start with this for now.

[startingnew]

Hi everyone,

Its been really busy here. Ive had lots of repairs needing to be done on the house so ive slowly been working through that.

I have a neuro and pain specialist appointment next week, ill be interested in hearing about what they say, i have an allergensit appointment in a few months as well and i will also be having another dental surgery in a few months as well.

Getting a break doesnt seem to be an option yet. maybe itll change soon but i just have to hang on till then i guess. mentally im not to great so ive had to keep busy otherwise i become destructive. hard when im already so worn out though

hope everyone else is ok, feel free to update me here too

[demonblaster]

Hey Starts good seeing you 🤗

Poor love lifes still really hard by the sounds both mentally and physically. Sorry hearing that.

It would be hard looking out for your G,dad with dementia. I know verbally it can get quite tiring and hurtful being clise to the poor man. You'd I think be a great carer with a good nature and caring way.

It's been a long time with your physicals. Poor love it wears you down doesn't it.

If I'm not here don't feel neglected lovey, sometimes I find it easier not posting. Also packing to move out.

Have a love in my life he's a sweet darling 😍

Ok girl go as easy as you can. Until next time lovey 😚🤗⚘

[startingnew]

im not coping overly well atm

[Ggrand]

Hello, lovely Starts....🤗..

Just seen your post now...The Internet in my entire village has been mostly off for nearly 3 weeks, so it’s been hard to get onto BB....

I just wanted to let you know that I’m hear and listening to you little butterfly...I don’t know your new thread title...If you can tell me here I’ll find it and come to chat to you their...or here or on mine....

How are you feeling dear Starts?......RUOK?

Sitting with you my dear friend.

Grandy..🦋🦋