Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[Peppermintbach]

Darling Little Wings,

I’m holding your hand and giving it comforting squeezes...

Just breathe... breathe...eventually, it’s going to be okay...we will get there together...

I don’t think you’re doing anything “wrong.” I know you’re doing all you can...maybe just focus on getting through each moment, and try not to think too far ahead...

Here and now, my dear...

Here and now...

Maybe think about what you can smell, hear, see, taste and/or touch...

Focus on your surroundings, rather than your thoughts...

Perhaps there’s the smell of cooking, the sound of chirping birds or the rustle of leaves through an open window, perhaps you can see the sun setting, maybe the air tastes a bit stale and the yarn you use to crochet feels soft...

Let’s just take it one moment at a time...and in this moment, I’m sitting with you, reassuring you and keeping you company.

Gentle hugs and much love

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxox

[demonblaster]

Dear SLD you poor darling that's so sad hearing where you're at. It's terrible being so low isn't it honey 🤗

I always keep an eye out for you love and sorry I haven't been here much but know I love and care about you too always even if quiet. Do you think it could be an idea to ring MH esp that you're having SI darling, please do the right thing for yourself honey this is such a hard place to be you poor thing

I wish there was something I could do for you to make you feel better but know I'm with you and here your understood and not alone.

It's the pits not being able to get quality sleep, I feel for you. Would some calming meditation help do you think while you try sleeping.

Dear Starts you're a survivor and you WILL get through this I have faith in your coping abilities.

Breathe sweetheart in nice and slowly and deep and relax on exhale, feel the pain leave your body when you breathe out.

I really am sorry you're in so much pain darling.

You're loved here and people care deeply for you, know that and please feel our love and take energy from it to heal.

You matter to us honey.

Here with and for you little wings. 💗⚘🤗😚✨🤝

[startingnew]

Thank you Peps and SL

this week has been so hard and just kept getting harder and yesterday i just lost it and its no better today at all, i feel worse today. I have tried hard to keep from coming back to this place but i havent stopped it this time.

i wish i could have a break from life. its tiring but not in a good way. Everything is so stressful and its such a struggle to even get out of bed. The dental/ neck pain and swelling isnt helping anything either.

the drs wont give me any other calmers esp when im like this and sleepers dont help either. Nothing really helps with sleep. im safe enough but it is so hard. even taking it in minutes seems too long. there have been many tears over the past few days and half the time i dont even know what they are from, they just start coming out 😞

I have used helplines but they havent helped, they just tell me to use the coping methods that actually help. i cant be to honest because i cant go to hospital again.

[Guest8901]

Dear SN,

Awww ... so sorry you're going through such a hard time right now. Yes it seems mighty unfair that even when we do everything right ... we still suffer these setbacks. Not your fault though SN, so please dont beat yourself up about it.

I sympathise with your feeling of just wanting to take a break from life for a while. I wish it were possible to just put life on hold and take a back seat for a little while. Allow us to take stock of where we're at, where we've come from and where we need to go. Then when we've had that little breather, we can pick up the reins again. Although thats not physically possible, it can be partially achieved in a figurative way. We need to allow ourselves a mental break by going easy on ourselves, being kind and patient with ourselves, by eating well and exercising when you can. We need to accept that we will continue to have these setbacks, no matter what we do. But we also know we are becoming better equipped to deal with them when they do come along.

I posted on Birdy's thread 'words of comfort encouragement and wisdom' a couple of days ago. I will repeat it here for you, as it sounds like it could be relevant to you right now.

When everything seems too hard concentrate on just 3 things:
1. Get up
2. Survive
3. Go back to bed
When things are tough, it becomes a major personal victory just to survive each day. Learn to celebrate that victory ... with the knowledge that things will not always be this difficult.

I would like to celebrate with you, the fact that you are a true survivor. That in itself is a major victory. 👍

Sorry I havent been around much for you lately Little Butterfly, but I have been listening and caring. My thoughts are with you.

Amanda 🌺💜

[startingnew]

Hi Mandy

Thank you so much. Today is awful already and i cant make it better. Theres so much building up with no release. Ive scrubbed the house top to bottom and it hasnt helped. I didn't sleep last night, i dont know how to stop these dreams. Im afraid to sleep again.

Im having some really strange feelings in my chest and my hearts acting weird so i think i might talk to my gp and get it checked out. Its probably anxiety but its keeping me up at night and really short on breathe so its abit worrying.

Mandy im so worried and scared over everything. Its making me so emotional and all over the place and i dont know what else to do. My brain isnt allowing me that breather, its so flooded that sometimes its just that white noise but cant make out what it is.

Maybe part of it is because of the pain ive been in causing headaches and earaches and just feel sick in general.

Anyone have any ideas on how to get the brain to quiten down?

I really like that quote though its true and can relate lots to it. Thank you for sharing.

How i wish you guys were really here.

❣❣❣❣

[Ggrand]

Hello dear little butterfly,

I can hear so much distress in your words poor sweetheart...

What works mostly for me to get my mind to quite done is listen to some beautiful instrumentals and select one instrument and follow it though to the end, if your mind moves away, gently bring it back to the instrument...Allso I’ve been listening and watching to weightless, it’s so calming the music and the graphics if you can also find that vid on YouTube together with you watching the little clouds, dancing over the lake and listen to the music, it really does help me when I’m in an anxiety attack..please little butterfly, give it a try...it will.give your mind a short rest..

I think that’s a really good idea to speak to your gp about your heart health concerns, maybe knowing if it’s your anxiety causing these feelings in your chest, you may feel a little more calmer about them..

Deep breath, slowly..very slowly, take one hand and hold it in front of you, the other hand hold open as well..Slowly using your pointer finger on one hand, start at the wrist guide your pointer up slowly, breathing up, then slowly go down the other side towards the next finger, breath out slowly...next finger do the same, watch as you guide your finger up to the top of it breathing slowly up, then slowly down breathing out, the idea is to complete one hand the comple the other, slowly getting your breathing under control, which also helps with anxiety and panic attacks..I was having a panic attack when .the nurses showed me this coping method...please also if you feel up to it can you also give this a try....

I wish I was there with you also little butterfly, I would hold you in my arms and give you a very caring hug..i am their in spirit, I know not the same, but if you close your eyes, and imagine the magic will happen...

I hope I’ve been of some help to you sweetheart...

Sending you some love and hugs..💜💜🤗🤗..

Grandy..

[startingnew]

Hi Little angel,

Thank you for those suggestions, i havent heard of the one your nurse had suggested so ill give it ago. I cant put any music on atm but maybe a little later i can try that too. Ive got my essential oils and the diffuser just sitting there. i just have to get through the next hr and a half and then things at home might settle abit. Ive taken pain releivers as well to hopefully get the pain under control too but i might have to go to the drs and see about something stronger as its pretty bad atm.

one minute at a time will have to do for now.

Thanks little angel for being here with me too. ill have to imagine you all being here in the lounge room watching a movie with me

[Peppermintbach]

Darling Butterfly Wings (and a wave to all the other lovely people),

I’m so glad that so many of your friends here have been linking their loving arms of support and love with yours. I’ve read some truly caring posts above 🙂

I hope using your diffuser helped last night, and that the meds gave you a little pain relief. I know you’re struggling a lot, probably even more than usual by the sounds of things...

I know there are some apps/Youtube/etc that play sounds like running rain, waterfall, beach sounds, rainforest sounds, etc that you might find helpful in terms of calming your mood. Just a gentle suggestion if you’re looking for ideas to help settle a restless mind and tired spirit...

I’m sitting with you quietly this morning with an arm around your shoulder like a protective big sister.

Many squishy but gentle hugs and, as always, much love...

Pepper xoxox

[Birdy77]

Dear SN,

I am so sorry to hear you're in such a deeply difficult place at the moment.

I am not sure if this will help, but when we're in a dark place, sometimes little bits of what someone says may end up being helpful at some point.

Everyone else has such great advice for you ... I just wanted to share something about trying to be "witness" rather than the "actor" in your life.

I mean trying to remove yourself a little: be the Observer of what is going on in your head.

Watch the thoughts scamper through.

Acknowledge them.

Watch them leave.

Recognise yourself as the person thinking these thoughts, but don't judge her ... just see yourself having these thoughts.

That Observer is you, but it's your higher self sort of shining a light on your everyday consciousness.

The observer is gentle and compassionate, and holds your everyday self in understanding.

It can be a way of removing yourself from the inner chaos and mayhem, and creating some space, or a barrier between you and the noise.

I'm not sure if this will make sense or help. I would just like you to not judge what you are going through.

Be kind to yourself.

And do not in any way feel any pressure whatsoever to reply to me. Look after you. That's all.

🌻birdy

[startingnew]

I seen my psych today and she made things worse 😞 it was such a triggerring session and then had some troubles at the horse paddock today. feels like ive got a line up of haters lately waiting for me to stuff up or find something else to add to the list of why they dont like me.

im trying really hard to hold on and breathe and take things very slowly and acknowledge everything...., i was hoping the psych wouldve helped me today but its done the opposite. ill see how i got tonight, i may end up calling the mh line and seeing if they can suggest something. Im too scared to sleep but hopefully i might get abit in tonight or at least some more peaceful rest and not so tossy-turny.

thank you for keeping me afloat my friends

xoxoxo