Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[startingnew]

Hi Guys,

im not up for much tonight but wanted to check in. i heard back from drs and the ultrasound come back clear. im not sure what is next now considering the pain is still there. they meantioned a possible CT scan and also seeing about going off all my medications because they could be causing it too which is worry for both my physical and mental health. i think the meds are the things keeping me pretty stable atm so take away those and not sure whatll happen...

i see dr on monday morning to see what else is to be done and what the next step is.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi magnificent Butterfly Wings (waves to all),

Well done on getting through those tests and appointments 🙂 A loving hug from me...

I’m relieved that the ultrasound came back clear...but even though clear is good, I suppose it doesn’t exactly help explain why you’ve been feeling so unwell...not knowing the cause must be frustrating

I think your pastel and rainbow coloured crochet sounds divine, and you seem to be really getting into it, which is wonderful to hear 🙂

Your post about being proud of me “just because” brought a smile to my face. Thank you so very much, it’s not everyday that someone feels proud of me for having done nothing. Lol! Thanks, Butterfly...

Good luck at your headspace appointment this morning. I’ll be around in spirit, gently encouraging you and offering moral support...

Much love and squishy but gentle hugs...

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

Hi Guys

its been a rather rough day here for me and yesterday as well. today mostly though has been rather cruel mentally with panic attacks, then mood swing back to super low, and just all over the place. lots of overwhelming stuff happening all at once rather than just one or 2 things at a time.

hopefully tomorrow and over the weekend will be better though esp with being back in my own home rather than mums house.

ill try to respond properly tomorrow, im not really thinking all that clear tonight so best id leave things till tomorrow

xoxoxo

[demonblaster]

🤗 dear SLD 🤗 there's an extra sweetheart

Anxiety attacks are cruel. They're an out for stress. I imagine you're versed on how to breathe and get through them.

This may help a reader. I've had some whoppers too

Focus only on breathing nothing else.

Breathe in slowly and deep through the nose out the mouth. Or just breathe.Do this several times till you settle.

It'll help and avoid thinking of what's upsetting you.

On exhale saying to yourself relax helps (proven)

Breathe deeply in. It uses the diaphragm which also helps stop the adrenalin pumping.

Darling don't ever give up on yourself I've said before and mean it, you really impress me that you keep going, honey something has to give sometime in a good way. Luck either way comes with time.

I also admire that you try different things like crocheting art doing the charity bags again.

Have you been able to maybe not actually with your tummy pain excercise. Honey it's one more elimination as frustrating and painful it narrows it down for them

Hope not a med issue. You really are strong Starts and if they have to stop meds maybe ask if there's a chance for a few relaxants to help with anxiety. Rather them give you a couple of sleepers.

May/not help do you think a warm not hot pack on your tum could ease it.

So glad you have some changes happening, headspace sounds good and your study ahead.

Sweet I didn't eat that choccy you gave me...splutter...as if...so returning to our little winged love 🍫...wow that hurts more than I thought it would 😊

Hold tight SLD 🤝NEVER far away even if 😲 I'm not wording. Thoughts and care lovey 😚❤💗

[startingnew]

Hi SL

thanks for catching up on all my posts, thank you for the congratulations. Id like to make that record longer than 3 months. Only 2 and abit weeks away and then itll be 4 months.

Im halfway through my blanket now. It takes a long while now because its a lot bigger so each row takes around 15-20 minutes. Its a long process but im a slow worker for this.

They arent sure what is causing the kidney pains yet. Its more like a deep twingy pain instead of crumple on the floor pain so maybe it was an infection but wasnt picked up.. I speak to my gp tomorrow. Itll be a rather big one because Ill be talking about the kidneys, my medications and also my hormone results too. I also need to talk about why im so lethargic too. I am hoping that its not my medications as well. I dont really want to go off them, I think they are the reason ive been able to keep relativly stable.

Did you manage to go for your ultrasound? Did you get your results as yet?


Thank you for your compliments, I really dont feel like im any of the things youve said.


Ive been exercising mostly, but with the kidney pain its been abit hard so ive been taking it easy. Im easing back into it now with walks and exercise bikes though.


Thanks so much SL
xoxoxox

[startingnew]

Hi my Pepper girl

no unfortunatly it doesnt really leave any answers but I guess its ruled out a few things though. I see my gp tomorrow though so can get some answers or at least ask some questions..

im quite liking the colours I chose, I was worried they werent going to go well but it is actually a rainbow. So purple blue and so on but with white in between each colour to break it up.

Theres always something to be proud of you for Peps, each day you continue to get up and face the new day and that in iteself is a feat. So yes I am a proud little sister cheering you on.


My headspace appointment actually went quite well. We got along well and I do hope that I can learn and build that trust up with her. We discussed some things and for this yr because ive only got limited sessions we are focussing on how to cope better, manage my moods, and managing each day and my roles etc better then next yr we will try to work on some my truama but not yet. She actually wants to work with me which is something ive been looking for so im hopeful that things will be better this time around


Thanks sis
xoxoxox

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely Butterfly Wings (waves to all),

Friday sounds like it was particularly rough so I really hope that being back at your own place over the weekend helped...gentle hugs...

I’m very pleased that your Headspace appointment went well 🙂 She sounds wonderful and seems to genuinely want to help you. The treatment/therapy plan that you discussed makes a lot of sense too. I’m feeling relieved and hopeful for you...

Your white and rainbow crochet blanket sounds like it’s coming along nicely. Halfway is excellent progress plus I know how it keeps your hands busy and, perhaps even more importantly, it’s something you enjoy.

Lol. Thank you, your comments made me smile. You’re a very caring and endearing little sis 😉

Good luck at the GP’s today. I’ll be with you in spirit, gently comforting and supporting you...

Much love,

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

Hello dear Peppergirl

Thanks friday was rough as was yesterday. so much for the ultrasound not showing anything. when i went to the drs yesterday the ultrasound is showing something on and around my pancreas. they arent sure what so further investigations are needed. i had to go for blood tests and it was super embarrassing but i passed out-literally. they have told me i need a few days rest as i looked exhausted even before i walked in and my reaction to the test kinda confirmed it. im usually ok with them but yesterday just really didnt cope at all.

so im watching movies, advertising some things for sale and doing some crochetting too.

Ive been thinkin alot about you lately Peps and wondering how your going? and also DB and Grandy and Sez if you guys are reading. im finding it hard to keep up the past few days unless they are newbies as theres not alot to read/catchup on.

sending my love and much hugs, and many many butterflies

Dusk till Dawn

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

[Peppermintbach]

Darling Butterfly Wings (waves to all),

Here, let me clear a comfy spot so you can rest your weary spirit. I’ll gently fluff some pillows and find you a blanket to keep your beautiful wings warm ...

You sound really overwhelmed...I feel that must have made you feel self conscious. But if it comforts you, even just tiny bit, I feel people in the medical profession are used to seeing things like that...not that that lessens your feelings of course...

I’m relieved you seem to be doing some things for yourself like watching movies, crotchet and resting a little. Some self care and time to yourself has been long overdue...

How precious is it to have someone care so deeply about me 🙂 Thank you so very much...that, to me, is special and something to be cherished. I have been going through some things so it has been rather rough on my end so your love and gentle thoughts mean that much more ...

Your love, butterflies and hugs are all happily and gratefully received 🙂

Sending you my love, (blue) butterfly wishes and comforting big sis hugs (many of them too).

“Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxox

[startingnew]

Hi Peps

Thank you for your wonderful post xox. i did make me very self conscious thankfully they were all ok with it. i see my gp again on tuesday about some other results as well, hopefully those blood tests have given some sort of result...

my bad tooth and the wisdom teeth are causing so much grief, im on strong pain relief, saline washes, heat pack and muscle creams to reduce the swelling in my neck and jaw, it is awful and none of it is helping. it gets taken out in a week, and despite being terrififed to go to the dentist, i am counting down the days.

My mental health goes up and down faster than a roller coaster the past few days, i think becasue of the pain and not sleeping well, but also becasue its school holidays so its adding to my financial strain, overhwhelming feelings and just feeling all over the place.

Everything feels all 'wrong' and awful but i need to try and work through it somehow. day by day will have to do and just manage the best i can..