New and not sure what to do

[Pysis]

Hi um I've never done anything like this so please tell me if I need to do something differnt

I'm a 18 year old male and I've been depressed for the passed 7 months or so it all started when I had to put my horse down when hiss throat closed over it was very traumatic for me and he was the second horse I'd put down in a period of three months. Then my friend was having issues with work so I was trying to support her and be there for her just checking in on her and making sure she was ok she was suffering bulling really badly in the work place. While I was trying to be there for her I got very sick with a stomach bug and was sick for over a month I lost 17kg over that period of time and ended up in hospital 3 times for a period of over a week while I was in hospital I was still helping my friend. Once I got out of hospital my friend was really strugling so I made an extra effort to help her and that's when I got really bad myself. I stated to remember repressed memories from my childhood of things my obusive father had done and stuff from me being at school and being severely bullied. up until 2 weeks ago I was coping alright but then my boss made me work on a puppet show that she was making and I wasn't getting paid for it it has been a difficult situation becuase she is also a friend and she has no idea that I have been struggling with my mental health at all. I have ended up feeling very used by my boss as I put in 7 days free work for her and missed out on seeing my grandparents who kind of replaced my dad in someways growing up and she had my camera for over a month. She has slowly demanded more from me as time has gone on and I ended up having to preform in front of people which I wasn't really up for and the whole situation has cuased me to end up where I was before in terms of my depression. I don't know why but when I get really depressed like I am I have panic attacks and end up messaging my friend who is the only person I've ever been able to talk to. She has a new job now though and is working all the time and me messaging her is causing her stress and I don't want to do that to her and she also has kids that's she's trying to be there for. I don't know how to stop myself messaging her when I have my panic attacks becuase at the moment it's the only thing that helps it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I guess what I want to ask is dose anyone have any suggestions as to what to do I'm in a remote town so getting proffesonal help is difficult.

[startingnew]

ooh a colour run

i did one of those during my school yrs. heaps of fun very messy though! wouldve been better if i had other people with me though...

hmm the weekend ive got work both days, watching the kids tomorrow and then sunday ill have work but i think ill need to rest ive had a full on week and will need at least half a days break so i can re start the week again

[startingnew]

Are you ok buddy?

You're being very quiet

[Cesca1557]

hi nath,
just a quick post to say im thinking of you and hope youre doing okay
not feeling great at the moment so ill reply to your message tomorrow morning

[Pysis]

Hi star

yeah I'm ok I'm just feeling pretty sick and I'm very tierd, my thoughts are a bit jumbled as well, so I'm probably better off not saying to much at the moment.

thinking of you

Nath

[Pysis]

Hi C

take your time there's no rush. I hope your ok.

thinking of you too

Nath

[velvetfaerie]

Everyone has lurgies ATM it seems. How's the goat Nath?

Ive been quiet due to my own pile of crap.

And is that you??!! You're a cutie!! And you are an animal lover and smart and sensitive..... any lady would be lucky to date you.

Be good 😊

v.

[startingnew]

i understand Nath

lots of hugs being sent your way.

this is your thread remember so it doesnt matter if your thoughts are jumbled, we are here to support and help you unjumble those thoughts

xoxoxox

[Pysis]

Hi V

yeah it seems the whole of Victoria has it at the moment.

Yeah hes all good now thank you his cyst has cleared up finally he's just got a bit of scar tissue but that's starting to soften. I ended up working at a goat breeders for three days fencing so I got to see all the little new born kids I really wanted to take a couple home with me, haha. They were toggen bergs and boar goats.

I hope your ok, it's good to hear from you.😃

Haha, yeah that's me . Oh gosh thank you.

dont worry I will be.😉

Thinking of you

Nath

[Pysis]

Hi star

thank you, right back at ya.

yeah I know but I can't even think of anything to say at the moment, to be honest I think I'm a little oxygen deprived and probably should go on the nebuliser but there isn't anyone open at the moment so I'm just having my inhaler.

hope your ok

Nath

xoxoxoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Nath,

I read your post about missing Sara. It must be hard as she was/is such a huge part of your life. A friend indeed. Yeah, I hear you on how you need face-to-face contact. I remain hopeful for you 🙂

Thanks, you're very kind. I enjoy talking to you here too.

Oh no, it seems everyone has some sort of cold or flu. I hope you rest up. I've a side splitting headache, fever and sore throat (same one from about 2 weeks ago...or maybe 1 week ago...can't remember).

Butterfly, Cesca and Velv + anyone else- hope you all rest up too!

Kind thoughts,

Pepper xo