New and not sure what to do

[Pysis]

Hi um I've never done anything like this so please tell me if I need to do something differnt

I'm a 18 year old male and I've been depressed for the passed 7 months or so it all started when I had to put my horse down when hiss throat closed over it was very traumatic for me and he was the second horse I'd put down in a period of three months. Then my friend was having issues with work so I was trying to support her and be there for her just checking in on her and making sure she was ok she was suffering bulling really badly in the work place. While I was trying to be there for her I got very sick with a stomach bug and was sick for over a month I lost 17kg over that period of time and ended up in hospital 3 times for a period of over a week while I was in hospital I was still helping my friend. Once I got out of hospital my friend was really strugling so I made an extra effort to help her and that's when I got really bad myself. I stated to remember repressed memories from my childhood of things my obusive father had done and stuff from me being at school and being severely bullied. up until 2 weeks ago I was coping alright but then my boss made me work on a puppet show that she was making and I wasn't getting paid for it it has been a difficult situation becuase she is also a friend and she has no idea that I have been struggling with my mental health at all. I have ended up feeling very used by my boss as I put in 7 days free work for her and missed out on seeing my grandparents who kind of replaced my dad in someways growing up and she had my camera for over a month. She has slowly demanded more from me as time has gone on and I ended up having to preform in front of people which I wasn't really up for and the whole situation has cuased me to end up where I was before in terms of my depression. I don't know why but when I get really depressed like I am I have panic attacks and end up messaging my friend who is the only person I've ever been able to talk to. She has a new job now though and is working all the time and me messaging her is causing her stress and I don't want to do that to her and she also has kids that's she's trying to be there for. I don't know how to stop myself messaging her when I have my panic attacks becuase at the moment it's the only thing that helps it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I guess what I want to ask is dose anyone have any suggestions as to what to do I'm in a remote town so getting proffesonal help is difficult.

[Pysis]

Hi star

sorry I missed your message.

Thanks star yeah I've felt a lot better since I've been on here just having people to talk to.

yeah I'm not to worried I'm not that interesting so I doubt any one would recognise me.

thanks star

nath

[startingnew]

i really love being here too. its a supportive and comfortable community to be in.

i feel like -within reason of anonymity- i can say anything. theres no judgement here and usually someone about to help.

im glad your finding your being helped too

[startingnew]

what are you up to today?

[Cesca1557]

nath,
well done!!
oh wow he is very young, definitley try not to be affected by what he says to you about it

hope it goes well for you 🙂
hows your day been today?

[Pysis]

Hi star

i havent done much today I'm just trying to get better, it's a horrible day here today really windy and cold.

hows your day been?

[Pysis]

Hi C

thanks.

yeah both my brothers are a lot younger than me the oldest is 14 like I said and the youngest is only 10 so there is a big age gap. Yeah he's kind of stated to shut about it she dumped him.

thanks c so do I.

yeah my days been ok I've spent most of it in bed sick but it hasn't been to bad.

how about your day? Are you feeling any better?

nath

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Nath,

Life is meant to be "lived" as someone on this forum once said, mind you, I'm quoting her completely out of context but the sentiment is still the same 🙂

So it's good that you're living your life and experiencing new things. I guess as long as your are careful- as you said- should be cool.

I hope maybe, over time, you make some more offline friends. It sounds like you're craving the in-person contact...

Hey, you're most welcome 🙂

As an aside, I really enjoy talking to you, and the funny thing is if it weren't for the internet, your path and mine probably would never have crossed. Lol. Luckily for technology. And It's interesting hearing about your upbringing and community because it's so different to mine.

Thanks, I hope you're holding up okay.

Pepper xo

[startingnew]

yeah bloody cold/flus/viruses pain in the backsides arent they

have you signed up for tinder yet or your still undecided about that?

my day was both works, study and the drs.

have you got any plans for the weekend?

[Pysis]

Hi pepper

yeah that's it isn't it we only get one life so why not try to make the most of it.

yeah I really hope I can make at least one more friend in real life sooner than later. I really am craving real life contact with someone, up until sara got her job I'd see her every weekend, we could just sit and talk for hours sometimes and that's what I'm really missing just being around someone you know, I mean talking to everyone on here has been and is great but I still miss talking to someone in person.

I enjoy talking to you to pepper, your very nice. Yeah your right if we didn't have technology we would never even know of each other.

im OK thanks how about you?

thanks pepper

Nath

xoxo

[Pysis]

Hi star

yep that they are.

yeah I'm on tinder it's really wierd but I think it's worth a try.

ive got no plans for tomorrow but I'm watching my mum and youngest brother run in a colour run Sunday. How about you?

thinking of you

Nath