My story- just keep moving

[1113]

My depression started 20 odd years ago. So many bad things have happened in my life that remembering them is not something that I am able to cope with at the best of times. Some of these things have caused depression, some of them because of depression. It also hits me hard for no reason when all is going well. Its the major depressive episodes when I become to ill to cope, its like my soul/ existence leaves completely. Anxiety goes hand in hand with depression, and my anxiety is matching the level of my depression, just going outside is a painful experience. High level anxiety can last for days on end. Negative thoughts impact my everything, fleeting, unrealistic/uncontrollable. I forget who I am, where I put things/day it is. I don't think that I am good enough. This is not true, I know that from past experience. It effects every part of my life, family, friends, work. Most people don't understand why.

Why can't I have fun? When will I be normal? Why is this? Questions sometimes cause more problems and all I can do is take every day one step at a time until the major depression passes (its been 3 months already) or until the medication settles. Medication changes for me have side effects which can escalate other present symptoms. Mental health is so important. Don't hide it, with every ounce of your being tell someone. Get help. Reach out. Except. Go against what you feel. You are worth it.

I hid myself from society for many years because I felt that nobody understood. This was a mixture of anxiety and my naturally reclusive mentality that depression moulded me into. Its extremely difficult for me to decipher at times with all the chatter of negative thoughts what is reality or not. I never let anyone close to me so that I'm not a burden on them and I'm untrusting to others because of the fear of being hurt. People have a natural ability to push away the weird and undesired. So this makes it easier to do but not right.

All these symptoms mashed together make psychosis and inevitable agrophobia. Luckily this only effects me for a few weeks but the time it takes to recover from that to being able is far longer.

Its time for me to be me again. Clarity is still far away but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to keep moving.

[1113]

Bro,

Im feeling a bit overwhelmed and confused. LAM

I'm trying to write this easy. Its hard because of the word, and the essay. LAM

ExcusesExcuses that how I was at school.

christina aguilera

All g.

Im starting it now, I was also lazy and always late. I knew the principals office very well. LAY

All jokes aside. Sincerely trying.

Peace

McStudent

[SourceShield]

Bro,

There is no try, only do <- Master Yoday.

For real...do you know what the meaning of "trying", actually is?

Look it up, it means "difficult, stressful".

To 'try' something is totally different

i.e.

Let me try some cake!

When you say "I'm trying" - that is an OTT.

One that has sunk in deep!.

They are all excuses, and they are the OTT that you have had about education, and learning.

They are part of the I am not good enough OTT that you have had floating around up there.

Let go of the attachment.

Take a deep breath, and do your best!.

You can do this...300s isn't that much at all!

Stop being a sook! <-LAY

PeaceOut

PrinicipalWolf <-LAM

And, it's Principal not principle <-LAM

Principle - NOUN - A fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behaviour or for a chain of reasoning.

Principal - NOUN - The most important or senior person in an organization or group.

---

Christina Aguilera = Amy Grant

---

the most important or senior person in an organization or group.

the most important or senior person in an organization or group.

[1113]

Bro,

You crack me up. I had to get dinner ready, get my boy to bed and clean up while writing 300 words about something that you knew I would a problem with. YLAM new one (your laughing at me). Because I only found it this morning. Meanie.... Lay

---------------

Confidence has great meaning in my life, I have recently found it. I had lost it for quite some time. Acceptance is related to my learning of confidence.

Having confidence to accept myself just as I am.

Confidence comes from believing in yourself no matter what people say, do or think.

It comes from knowledge, practice and skill. However, confidence in yourself is different from confidence in other people or things. For instance, you can have confidence in your mechanic when he fixes your car or when buying a product from a reputable company.

Confidence must be pure, compassionately expressed and never used to harm another person. You should never use confidence to bully or to be overpowering.

You must know what you want, how to get there without it coursing pain to yourself or another.

My perception of confidence is not second guessing yourself, having skill, kindness and faith in yourself and others.

The end.

---'---'''''''------''''---

Amy Grant = Geoffrey Edelstein

I have done the best I can. I am ready for your teaching and completely happy with what I have done.....Confidence that I can improve.

You Have a lot of work to do. LAY

Peace

McStudentie

[SourceShield]

Bro,

Before I 'grade' your work! <-LAYLAMLAYLAMLAYLAM

---

Honestly - Thats why I was impatient, thats what you sensed.

I had replied much earlier with the 'challenge', so you would have had much more time but the PLCN meant that it didnt come through until much later.

It is all in the hands of the gods, my friend!.

You've done well...I will be back...

[1113]

All g bro

I actually work better under pressure.

Take your time

Peace

[SourceShield]

Brother,

Firstly - Let's have fun with the writing thing too.

Remember to look up the grammar links.

That'll help you with all that because I can see that you do need some assistance with that, but I won't focus too much on that because it's not possible to teach that, if you and I can't see each other and can't interact in real time.

So, I'm gonna focus on clarity, and flow with what you're writing.

So that you're better able to express how you feel in the written word, without feeling like you did yesterday.

---

You wrote...

"Confidence has great meaning in my life, <- This could be a full stop instead of a comma. That's a full sentence.

I have recently found it.

I had lost it for quite some time.

Acceptance is related to my learning of confidence.

Having confidence to accept myself just as I am.

Confidence comes from believing in yourself no matter what people say, do or think.

It comes from knowledge, practice and skill.

However, confidence in yourself is different from confidence in other people or things.

For instance, you can have confidence in your mechanic when he fixes your car or when buying a product from a reputable company.

Confidence must be pure, compassionately expressed and never used to harm another person.

You should never use confidence to bully or to be overpowering.

You must know what you want, how to get there without it "coursing" pain to yourself or another.

- causing - "...there without it causing pain..."

My perception of confidence is not second guessing yourself, having skill, kindness and faith in yourself and others.

The end".

---

For your first attempt, you did really well.

I understood your intention, and could sense your sincerity.

"My perception of confidence is not second guessing yourself, having skill, kindness and faith in yourself and others" <- This is a new aspiration for you!.

- Keep stepping up, and stepping towards this.

---

Geoffrey Edelstein = Emma Stone

---

EarthMagic Class 101 ---

Have you ever heard of an Emotional-Alchemy Stone?

...would you like to learn how to prepare one for yourself?...

---

I'm super excited about working at the Woodford Festival!

Can't wait, and this will defs help with getting to Melb on time as well.

---

I am thankful for family and friends near and far.

I appreciate blessings, big and small.

I am grateful for answered prayers.

---

HWJT report 7/12/16

Meta - 76%

Bio - 52%

Psycho - 67%

Social - 87%

---

PeaceOut Mah Brozzle

KDogg.

[1113]

Bro,

Thanks dude. It was from our hearts. Mine and my boys. Mostly mine.

It's funny that he sincerely agrees with that interpretation of confidence. This is helping him so much too. You should see the smile on his face when i ask him to help me literacy work. Help loves the stuff.

He is the most unbelievably compassionate person and has to help everyone at school. All the kids and teachers love him so much. He will mostly likely be accelerated a few years in primary and high school. He is already doing high school science, learn math at year 6 level and only in yr 3. Actually he is in the same class with the year 6's who are all GNT. I am so blessed to have him. The school is blessed to have him. He is so happy and so loved by everyone. He is booming ahead because of no distractions. All year he has been so happy. Actually it been a few years now. Anyway. Had to rant......

And ranting still....

With proper grounding and emotional intelligence he will be a super star. Better than him learning how to be cool and famous and all that poo. Wow, I pretty sure he has a different talent too. He just knows stuff without knowing why and has a strong will to help. But he is mostly drawn to writing and with his massive imagation I'm pretty sure he will be a winner. He has a very bright future. Just imagine a emotionally intelligent 15 yr old with a 160 - 180 iq. In university. That is him. I see it.

Boom.

You da best uncle bro.

He is so funny, he knows if your trying to manipulate him straight away. He to smart for his own good. He wont even relate to a stupid adult. He just rolls his eyes in unbelief of there stupidity. Bahahahahaha so cool. I have been teaching him from day dot about self confidence and making him choose his own path. He is dedicated to his own future. Why can't I do this for myself? It's weird how you can guide someone so well but be poo at it yourself.

You can't change his mind anymore. He knows what he wants and just goes for it. Surprisingly he goes for learning by his own will.

Just imagine 12 GNT kids in a class of there own with a teacher who is GNT too. I think she is about 160 iq too. There world is completely different from a normal kids.

Wow, i just had to write that. So I did. Maybe I'll write more about him. Later.

I glad you got work bro, happy your getting closer to your happiness. Whens the wedding?

Yes please.....teach me how to make one. Stone thingy.

Anyway

Goodnight bro

Have a restful evening

Matt

[SourceShield]

MuchLove brother...

...and again you forget your famous person!

You're lucky this time because I'd rather read about my nephew anyday, anyway!.

Thank you for sharing that Matt.

That's what it's all about!

You already know how I feel about your daddy skills.

My nephew will be a world leader one day...maybe even one day soon...it's there for him!

We are all GNT! <- Now we must be the change that we wish to see in the world!.

It is possible.

It is available, to all of us!.

I believe that, wholeheartedly.

You can rant and ramble about the boy all day long...that's how I that know you're good.

Your focus goes back to your primary mission - Being healthy and well for you and for your son!.

And then it will be time for...your soulmate, she's here for you brother!

Waiting in the wings.

All things in the right and best time.

And, she is beautiful, inside and out!

We could have a double wedding!

I'm planning for the wedding to be a 2020 wedding...gives me plenty of time to get it all sorted, just right!. <-SLAM (Smiling Like A Moron).

Thanks for being the best bro.

Sleep well.

Chat tomoz.

I will send the alchemy stone info tomoz as well.

Blessed Be.

Kaitoa

[SourceShield]

Bro,

I did reply to your above post.

Excuse the PLCN...I won't write it all again!.

Night brother.

MuchLove

Kaitoa

[1113]

Morning bro,

It must of been a good post............its still not here!

Chat later