My story- just keep moving

[1113]

My depression started 20 odd years ago. So many bad things have happened in my life that remembering them is not something that I am able to cope with at the best of times. Some of these things have caused depression, some of them because of depression. It also hits me hard for no reason when all is going well. Its the major depressive episodes when I become to ill to cope, its like my soul/ existence leaves completely. Anxiety goes hand in hand with depression, and my anxiety is matching the level of my depression, just going outside is a painful experience. High level anxiety can last for days on end. Negative thoughts impact my everything, fleeting, unrealistic/uncontrollable. I forget who I am, where I put things/day it is. I don't think that I am good enough. This is not true, I know that from past experience. It effects every part of my life, family, friends, work. Most people don't understand why.

Why can't I have fun? When will I be normal? Why is this? Questions sometimes cause more problems and all I can do is take every day one step at a time until the major depression passes (its been 3 months already) or until the medication settles. Medication changes for me have side effects which can escalate other present symptoms. Mental health is so important. Don't hide it, with every ounce of your being tell someone. Get help. Reach out. Except. Go against what you feel. You are worth it.

I hid myself from society for many years because I felt that nobody understood. This was a mixture of anxiety and my naturally reclusive mentality that depression moulded me into. Its extremely difficult for me to decipher at times with all the chatter of negative thoughts what is reality or not. I never let anyone close to me so that I'm not a burden on them and I'm untrusting to others because of the fear of being hurt. People have a natural ability to push away the weird and undesired. So this makes it easier to do but not right.

All these symptoms mashed together make psychosis and inevitable agrophobia. Luckily this only effects me for a few weeks but the time it takes to recover from that to being able is far longer.

Its time for me to be me again. Clarity is still far away but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to keep moving.

[SourceShield]

Hello McMatt McBrozzletron!

You crack me up!

I know you're trying to catch up with me...bring it boiiiiiiiiii!.

Im so glad that the award went well.

My nephew, is such a show off, dux...again! <-He's a champion.

Happy for you brother.

And, might I add that I was also very impressed by your reply to CL!

BrotherCL, you would have read that we are also going to put together a BroCode thread, wanna help us with that?

I still think its a great idea.

---

Brother6, I agree- I will pop in maybe twice a day, once in the morning, to read your posts etc, and then at night to post my HWJT etc.

Managing my time on BB is important to me, hence me factoring in a time limit.

---

MuchLove&Friendship

p.s.

I know my HWJT looks awesome y'all!!!.

Im a genius!.

BoomShakaLaaaa!.

PeaceOut.

[SourceShield]

BrotherCL,

Thanks for asking such a cool question!

---

To answer your questions..

Why is my SexualHealth in my Psychology plan?

Sex starts with a thought.

A series of automatic and conscious thoughts actually --- made up of bio-electric impulses, and chemical reactions, all working together, beautifully...some of the time, for some of the people.

Okay?

Can you see sex like that, CL?

From a more biological perspective?

The need or want, or the, not wanting of sex, starts in ones 'mind'.

---

What is the mind, CL?

Where is it?

---

Sexualhealth starts as a neurological process.

I use an acronym again.

My brain likes those!

- P.A.D -

P - Practise, as in SAFE sexual Practice.

A - Activity, as in HEALTHY sexual Activity.

D - Desire, as in, how I MANAGE sexual Desire.

Does that make sense to you, CL?

I sense that youve picked up on this for a 'reason'.

Whatever that reason.

Its all good.

That reason is valid.

As you are.

TBH - This is just my opinion, okay?

But I feel for you man, because bisexuality is the least understood of them all now.

Its not that easy for a Bi-Guy to just 'come out' and say "Hey, Im bi!".

You did well there, Panther!

I appreciate you telling us the truth.

And, I mean that about being bi.

Many people still dont get it.

They still think its just a phaze.

I knew I was gay, when I was 4yrs.

You say all your life, as well, that youve known about being bi.

We can support each other - You seem very open about it.

I still have my moments.

You would have read about some of the stuff from my past, if youve read the thread, like you say, so I wont repeat it.

And thats why Matt is such a champion because he is profoundly accepting.

He's a good guy.

We have one of each now!

LOL

Straight.

Bi.

Gay.

LOL

---

But back to the serious talk...

Those of us that live with certain types of disorders, may also have to live with other disorders being attached to them as well.

i.e.

Its common for OCD or BiPolar to also be present with people with HFA, like me.

Sexual disorders, can also be, another layer of the proverbial onion, as Bro Matt puts it.

You get that right?.

Comorbidities.

---

Im glad that youre seeing a therapist about all this.

These are also questions that you can be speaking with your therapist about.

How often do you see him?

---

Im glad that youve found someone that you trust.

Thats vital.

You are on the right path.

Glad youre here with us.

Stay focused.

MuchLove&Peace!.

[CompulsiveLiar]

Thanks Brother Matt.

I accept you. (True)

I accept me. (Lie)

I replied to your post on the OTT post. Thank you for replying. Youre very correct just taking my time is whats good. Moving forward, I want this too.

You two are really funny. Ive found it hard to make friends but you guys make me laugh. Im not close to my family at all. Ive forgive them, and that took a lot of therapy work. (True)

Do we have a secret handshake?

Thanks.

CL

[1113]

Morning Bros or is it broses,

Praise to you you both. But more to praise to CL.....Kaitoa..your a genius already. Boooom skaha laka. You crack me up.

Its getting hot here too. Amber loves a hose down. She would just lay in water all day. Poor things. Such a thick coat to wear in summer.

The bro code will be our gift for future use. Organic in its orgin. Lets get more involved first. Please help with that CL. Having to lie a lot must mean you have an amazing imagination too. Maybe channel that gift better.

HWJT

Body:

Exercise 20 mins - light jog

Relaxation meditation - I can relax while listening to my ebook or listen to tara brach. I just breath and relax.

Eat well

Hydrate

Mind:

Find some happiness - reach out to help.

SNORT - loven this....its awesome

Word on my hobby - I've used this technique for a lomg time to find my center.

Do this template every day

Regularly update this template when I evolve.

Stay on this forum.

Research more about true happiness- mixing this with relaxation.

Emotions

Study emotional intelligence -- mixed with relaxation

Learn to let go of old thoughts OTT

Upload new postive thoughts OTT

Believe in myself .........tick but don't forget

Love again.......tick

Go outside of my comfort zone..........working really hard on this one.

Parental: My absolute FAV.

Support my son even more

Tell him how much I love him

Support his friendship with others

Teach him as I learn.

End

Bros have a good day.

CL your accepted. Make up your own HWJT. One that you can achieve. Don't try and catch the MASTER. He's a genuine genius. Boom shaka laka. Bahahahahaha.

I'm off to live another.

Just to clarify. I will post here once a day. But will see you all on the OTT when I have spare time.

Peace

Matt

[1113]

ALL TRUE

[SourceShield]

Morning Brothers!

Does that make us sound like we're in a cult?

Jokes.

Its all good.

---

It's 7:25am in BrizVegas, and all is well.

I have some 'morning Jazz' on at the moment.

Bundy is licking himself. (TRUE)

All is as it must be!.

I've started drinking water with a little mint essential oil in it - good stuff.

May sound weird but, when used properly, essential oils are great.

I've had a bit of GERD - GastroEsophageal Reflux Disorder - in the past. (TRUE)

Like really bad, bad, bad...my guts felt like it was burning from the inside.

The acid pretty much melted my stomach!. (Gross Hyperbole)

But You get the point.

Lemon water is good.

Cucumber juice.

Mint essential oil.

I'm also a 'water' snob -I prefer my water with bubbles. (TRUE)

I only drink mineral water!.

I also limit the sucrose-sugar. <-This stuff is NO GOOD.

Do your best to eliminate all sucrose-sugars and high-fructose corn syrup from your diet. NOW.

Do the research, or ask questions - for real brothers and sisters!.

Our body needs glucose, but not sucrose at all. Its my belief that sucrose-sugar addiction, is actually the 'ultimate' addiction.

Take 'care' of this addiction, and it makes it so much easier to deal with the other addictions in anyone.

Many people will argue with me on this one, because we have normalised sucrose-sugar and other unnatural sugars into our diet.

We expect to see it there.

We've normalised the use of the non-food and sugars that people will argue with me about this.

Thats their right.

But ever since the 1800s, every single person, bar those that live in the jungles still, but those born after the 1800s, have been born with a predisposition to sucrose-sugar addiction.

Every single person on this planet is addicted, or at least would have the predisposition.

We just didnt know that 10years ago.

But, we can prove this now.

And like every other addiction, its on a spectrum, there are contrasts, and clusters etc.

You will either have a 'mild' addiction,or an 'intense' addiction to these sugars.

And, I would be able to show you where this addiction manifests in your life.

But there are so many that 'fear' what I want to say, about SUGAR.

Trillions and Trillions and Trillions of dollars of profit, every year, and they know it makes us sick.

I cant do nothing about this.

This is a part of my mission.

To improve, 'The System'.

Firstly, one must get oneself to our holistically-healthiest and best.

MuchChaos&Order.

TRUEPeace.

[SourceShield]

Morning Brother CL,

I see your humour coming out...

Do We Have A Handshake???.

Of course we do!.

Here I'll show you brother...

***shows CL the secret handshake***

Also CL, I replied to your question re: sexual health as well.

Its above.

As above, so below!.

---

As bro Matt says, you dont have to do my HWJT to the letter.

That would be a bit OTT <- as in over the top, dont you think bro?

Life isnt a race.

This isnt a competition.

We are here to support each other, but not copy each other, to the letter.

You dont want to be like that, CL.

But, we do need people in our life to be accountable to, and share our stories with, to witness as they live their life...but I get that this kinda talk is tough for you with ASPD, right?

If emulating is what you need to do, then do it.

Do you know that word, CL?

- Emulate -

In this context, I'd like you to look at the word, the way we use it for computing.

- To Reproduce The Function Or Action -

The brain, can be 'seen', to be like a computer...The Brainputer!.

When we want to erase the attachment to an OTT (as in Old Thought Thought), we need to upload a NPT (New Positive Thought) into the brainputer.

Then we must reinforce the NPT, by activating it.

We activate by emulating - reproducing other actions that support the NPT.

i.e.

I am stupid <- OTT

And, I will never find the right job for me <- The aversion. Keeping us attached to the OTT.

I can learn <- NPT

And, I am willing to always do by best <- The activating thought.

Reading every day, or writing every day, or enrolling in a new course <- The new function. The emulation of another action that supports the NPT.

Okay?

---

CL, if you feel it best to emulate what I have put together for th MBPS plan, go for it.

Make it work for you.

Do you see yourself as spiritful person, CL?

For me thats a biggie, that path is often the bumpiest, I find.

The spiritful path is a curious one.

Thats why its at the top of my HWJT everyday.

When I am right spiritfully, I have a great day.

When things are off spiritfully, with me, I am as well.

Spiritfulness, is all about being in the spirit of the moment.

i.e.

The spirit of Joy.

The spirit of clarity.

The spirit of wisdom.

The spirit of compassion.

I believe we can access these spirit forces whenever we want.

Through our connection to the true Source, of all the energy around us!.

If youre not into that, then theres no need to include it.

But if you are, then all g!.

MuchLove!.

[SourceShield]

Boom Shaka Laaaaa!

I AM THE MASTER...

You are right, Brozzletron Matt!

I am the master...

...of my own fate!.

As are you, of yours.

And, I guess, Brozzletron CL, can be the master of his, as well, if he wants?!?!.

Jokes.

We are all the masters, of our own fate!

***You have to say that as if you were Oprah!. FAAAAAAAATE!***

Makes it more special.

Have a good one.

From

That BrozzleMeister - KDogg <-thats me!

Boom Shaka Laka

Boom Shaka laa!

OutSourced.

[CompulsiveLiar]

Hello brothers I have decided that I will do a HWJT but I dont want to steal this thread from Matt, so I will put mine on my own thread. Matt you can join us there whenever you want as well because I appreciate your advice always. Youre on to it. Im definitely okay to help with the bro code post. I dont know what I can offer. My life experience will scare people. I have alot of questions to ask Source but I dont want to take up space in your post. I will still join in on the chat here as well but I know that I also need my own space as well. Because so much of what youre writing about Source is making sense but I also have so many questions as well to ask you. Thats okay?

[1113]

Bro,

That's ok really, your not stealing this thread. You can definitely join us here. More support is better. Your not judged by me. This thread doesn't belong to me. It's in the hands of the cyber high being.

If you don't feel comfortable with that, I'm not offended.

I will just join you on your thread.

I do think its valuable to accept your not alone.

Whether its on this thread or yours...what's the diff.

The decision is yours to make.

Just know I will support you anyway.

Bro Mdogg.