My daughter is angry at the world and me

[blondguy]

Hey Everybody. I ma really stuck and need advice with my daughter. I love her to bits but she is angry at the world and me. I have been on the forums since January and being an old guy I just thought I ask for some help. Here is some background...if you can help me

• She gone all gothic and weird...post natal depression...wont talk about it or accept any help...
• Dyed her long blond hair jet black and wears a lot of black and umm...self injured last year when she couldnt see her married BF..
• She sent me a MMS of her 'injuries'...that really hurt to see
• Has just had a baby to her boss...he is married with 3 kids..and he has warned her not to say anything
• she asked me to borrow my 2007 XR8 when she had her car impounded and I said no...Now I am evil for saying no
• i did mention that under 25's cant drive the XR8...she didnt care...she just wanted to use it..I still said no...
• Christmas day 2015 I turned up with presents at her place and she said.."I have had a late night...can you come back tomorrow"?

I use bullet points so it would be easier to read and respond to. (I cant stand mega paragraphs) Do I just give her space...or just a phase?

She lives 10 minutes away and has 2 great kids to 2 different dads. I daughter who is 3 and her new baby son who is about 3 months..She doesnt do drugs. She wants everything now ....Platinum Foxtel...Leather lounge....VE SV6 Commodore.....and the single mums pension of course.

I spend a lot of my time on the Depression/Anxiety threads....but I am lost here....should I just let her find her own way? Any thought/opinion would be gold to me right now.....also...whats an emo?....and yes Im serious..is it a dark and depressed person?

Thankyou for reading and please do respond if you can help...Have a great weekend too!

My kind thoughts and respect

Paul 🙂

[blondguy]

Pope Mobile for my exclusive use!!!......Kewl......You know how to make me laugh Carol.....xxx

[Starwolf]

Hey Paul,

Father's D

[Starwolf]

Hey Paul,

Father's Day is approaching and I know how such reminders must make you feel. There's not much I can say as this situation is out of your hands. At least, you have done your best for your daughter and left the door open. Sound education and loving care can have a delayed effect...

I fully understand what you are going through as I have had/still have similar issues with my own daughter. All is well for months, then her father will come up with one of his manipulative stories and she won't communicate with me for months...or longer. She did withdraw for a couple of years in the past, then suddenly reconnected out of the blue only to disappear again from my life later and so on. Those decisions may be misguided but the best we can do is wait for further developments without trying to fix the unfixable...unless required. There is a very wise Chinese proverb which says that you should never run after a bolting horse. It will come back of its own accord if it truly belongs with you (Confucius I think). As long as the stable door is open, the possibility of return remains.

Young people are often headstrong and their emotions tend to run away on them and sweep them along strange courses and dark alleyways. Sometimes their end must be reached before realisation dawns that a wrong turn was taken.

I know you are doing it tough right now. My thoughts are with you.

[Starwolf]

Technical glitch...equally out of my hands ! The first post disappeared then appeared again after the second attempt. Weird...

[Fairywings]

Hey paul I'm so sorry to hear you r going thru this with u daughter i can relate to her and her behavior in so many ways bc i would engage in this type of behavior too for many years i will pray for her and i hope things work out for the best xx being such a touchy subject and a coping mechanism the cycle can be very hard to break but with the right support and help ur daughter will get thru this xx thinking of u both xx Venessa

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey Paul,

You've popped in on the forums now and then lately, but I notice I have been seeing less of you expressing yourself about your own stuff. I'm concerned you're walling yourself off a bit and not seeking the help you need when you have so much on your plate. Remember we're here and thinking of you. Talking through it isn't about us wanting to know all your business, it's about sharing and thus reducing your worries for your own sake. We just want you to be okay and to lean on us if you're not.

Blue.

[blondguy]

Hi Starwolf, you really have an innate gift where balance and clarity is concerned..your support is Gold, Paulxx

Venessa, your prayers are appreciated big time as well as you being there for me..thankyou for your kindnessxx

Hey Bluguru, Ive been taking extra good care of myself and actually been discussing my issues frequently with many new posters too so they understand they arent on their own. Thankyou for being there Blue...you have and always be a shining light on the forums 🙂 xx

[Starwolf]

Thanks Paul.

Here's a thought-and inner chuckle attached- I'd like to share with you :

By the time a girl realises her father / mother is great, she has a child of her own who thinks she's anything but.

[Fairywings]

Anytime sweet soul xx

[blondguy]

Starwolf: Now that one is a classic..good to have a giggle 🙂 I loved this one from your post above "There is a very wise Chinese proverb which says that you should never run after a bolting horse" Paulxx

Venessa: Always a bonus to see you as well as read your posts here and on many other threads. Paulxx