My daughter is angry at the world and me

[blondguy]

Hey Everybody. I ma really stuck and need advice with my daughter. I love her to bits but she is angry at the world and me. I have been on the forums since January and being an old guy I just thought I ask for some help. Here is some background...if you can help me

• She gone all gothic and weird...post natal depression...wont talk about it or accept any help...
• Dyed her long blond hair jet black and wears a lot of black and umm...self injured last year when she couldnt see her married BF..
• She sent me a MMS of her 'injuries'...that really hurt to see
• Has just had a baby to her boss...he is married with 3 kids..and he has warned her not to say anything
• she asked me to borrow my 2007 XR8 when she had her car impounded and I said no...Now I am evil for saying no
• i did mention that under 25's cant drive the XR8...she didnt care...she just wanted to use it..I still said no...
• Christmas day 2015 I turned up with presents at her place and she said.."I have had a late night...can you come back tomorrow"?

I use bullet points so it would be easier to read and respond to. (I cant stand mega paragraphs) Do I just give her space...or just a phase?

She lives 10 minutes away and has 2 great kids to 2 different dads. I daughter who is 3 and her new baby son who is about 3 months..She doesnt do drugs. She wants everything now ....Platinum Foxtel...Leather lounge....VE SV6 Commodore.....and the single mums pension of course.

I spend a lot of my time on the Depression/Anxiety threads....but I am lost here....should I just let her find her own way? Any thought/opinion would be gold to me right now.....also...whats an emo?....and yes Im serious..is it a dark and depressed person?

Thankyou for reading and please do respond if you can help...Have a great weekend too!

My kind thoughts and respect

Paul 🙂

[blondguy]

Hey Kanga

Thanks heaps for the super kind & supportive post, I envy your strength as I wish I had half of the horsepower you possess Peter.

I know that people get mega concerned when you are off the air as you are such an a vital part of what the Beyond Blue forums stand for.....and yes I am serious. I have failed miserably for not taking a break when I know I should have and am now paying the price.

You have a free cpac unit??? You legend 🙂 I dont know about the unit over pressurizing itself but if you can help me out with the basics I would really appreciate it Peter. I am lost on what good it can do....all I know is that my friend stops breathing in between snoring and it seems like forever until she starts breathing again.

I dont understand how the unit works Peter but wish to learn.....Any advice is welcome 🙂

I hope you can educate me on this.....when you can of course

Great to have you here Uncle Kanga

Paul

[CMF]

Hey Paul, may I hijack your thread for a Minnie?

Kanga, sorry for putting that pressure on you, I'll post in the cafe to you.

cmf

[kanga_brumby]

Here Hi Paul the cpac unit is a small unit about the same size as a nebulizer or a big kiddie lunch box. In side it has a small compressor and a water tank which gets changed daily. A pipe leads away from the unit to a face mask similar to an oxygen mask. The difference is this is strapped to your head and has soft plastic around it to make a seal on the front of the mask there is a clapping section for the pipe to seal into. Then there is the nose type which closely resembles a mouth piece for a scuba diver. Which gets held in place over the nose. The other mask is for mouth breathers. Within the unit there are sensors to make sure it stops pumping air when it gets to a set pressure so you can inhale or exhale. So there is a regulator. The seal around the face gets pushed away from my face. Plus some times as I inhale it pushes my tong into the back of my throat making it impossible to inhale at all or its pushing that much into my lungs I find it hard to exhale. It is a second hand unit so I don’t know its history. It may have been used by someone who passed away. I will never know. As I am a mouth breather I need to use the first type I described. I have tried to use the nose type it just blows air through my nose all night drying out my throat and the unit shuts off after a little while any way. It doesn’t matter which way I go I am still stuck. Had JS sleep last night couldn’t breathe proper then there was my roommate always wanting the lights off so he can get some sleep. Then he wakes up several times a night turning on the lights calling for the night shift and wanting a Milo at 3 am. Then he has other issues which cause arguments between him and staff. Most of the residents agree with the staff plus visitors as well. But there is nowhere else for him to go to he at least deserves to be looked after. Here endeth the ramble sorry about having a rant at ya.

Kanga

[Quercus]

Hi Paul,

Glad I could give you a giggle 😊. Seriously though it is really good to see you back around and lighthearted discussions (even if they are about cars) benefit everybody I think. If you want proof check out the under 25 cafe. I stumbled there and basked in the star wars debate even if I had no idea about that either the passion and happiness was infectious.

On a serious note this worried me...

I know that people get mega concerned when you are off the air as you are such an a vital part of what the Beyond Blue forums stand for

You are just as valued and appreciated and cared for as Kanga (waves to Kanga). And your absence is just as keenly felt. Please don't underestimate your own worth. I know you struggle with liking yourself but please try to accept others don't see you the way you see yourself. I see compassion and empathy and a truly worthwhile person.

As to why the difference... I can only speak for myself. When Kanga left I believed he was leaving us for a long time or for good which made me very concerned.

(Kanga... if that put extra pressure on you I apologise)

You didn't say goodbye anywhere that I saw. I knew you were struggling and putting yourself first (good stuff) but to me you were having a break to take care of yourself and would be back when you felt able. I think this is a really healthy thing to do but it makes me sad to think you might feel like there wasn't a fuss because noone cared. I care very much. And I know others do too.

Keep being gentle to yourself Paul (yep stole your words 😊).

❤ Nat

[blondguy]

Hey Everybody 🙂

CMF....You can hijack my thread(s) whenever you feel the need to do so....Your input and TLC is a gift

Quercus....Thankyou for taking the time and help me out. I wrote this thread ages ago as I noticed so many people not being kind/liking themselves. The thread title (do you love yourself) is a 'tag' to encourage contributions/input from new and existing posters. I am fortunate as I have a crackerjack medical team that helped me (with super frequent therapy) to like myself (Im like anyone else...loving myself is a huge ask right now) You were spot on with Kanga (sorry mate) as his intentions were clear that he was leaving.I also posted to his 'departure' notice as well with the respect Peter is entitled to. Thanks Nat

Kanga...Thanks heaps for the info on the CPAC unit. I have copied and pasted your help into my 'coping file' so I dont lose track of the help you have given me.....I know you were super kind with your earlier super kind post that I was the only one that was here for you.....and I appreciate it more than you know. Its very hard for me as there have been so many posters that were worried about you when you mentioned that you would be off the the forums even before I knew you were signing off the forums

I cant even start to mention all of them but the posters jumped in first and were really concerned about your welfare...I only got the gist of what was happening 24 hours after CMF and others were super worried about you

I understand and thank you when you mentioned that I was the only one that cared but whether you like it or not you have many supporters on the forums that were really concerned for you before I even picked up on what you were going through.

Thanks again Kanga for your invaluable help with the CPAP unit 🙂

Paul

[Quercus]

Hi Paul 😊

Far out it really has been too long since I checked in on you (September! Bad me!).

I've been admiring your posts lately in the cafe (welcoming) and in the do you love yourself thread (encouraging) but to be honest I'm a little worried again.

You sound a bit different. Exhausted maybe? In need of some TLC and support of your own?

Forgive me please if I'm out of line but I just wanted to check if you're doing ok? If there is anything you need to talk about I'm here to listen.

Between all of your care and support of others please make sure you take care of yourself too.

❤ Nat

[blondguy]

Hey Nat

I didnt expect to this old thread pop up again!

Thankyou for the super nice post 🙂 My doc actually reads the forums as he is proactive where mental health is concerned. He just mentioned for me to 'take some time out which I did' and have feeling a lot better since.

Duly noted about taking care of myself too....That was very heartfelt and caring xo

I actually thought I was doing a lot better recently but any feedback is good feedback Nat 🙂

Your support is kind and appreciated

Paul