My daughter is angry at the world and me

[blondguy]

Hey Everybody. I ma really stuck and need advice with my daughter. I love her to bits but she is angry at the world and me. I have been on the forums since January and being an old guy I just thought I ask for some help. Here is some background...if you can help me

• She gone all gothic and weird...post natal depression...wont talk about it or accept any help...
• Dyed her long blond hair jet black and wears a lot of black and umm...self injured last year when she couldnt see her married BF..
• She sent me a MMS of her 'injuries'...that really hurt to see
• Has just had a baby to her boss...he is married with 3 kids..and he has warned her not to say anything
• she asked me to borrow my 2007 XR8 when she had her car impounded and I said no...Now I am evil for saying no
• i did mention that under 25's cant drive the XR8...she didnt care...she just wanted to use it..I still said no...
• Christmas day 2015 I turned up with presents at her place and she said.."I have had a late night...can you come back tomorrow"?

I use bullet points so it would be easier to read and respond to. (I cant stand mega paragraphs) Do I just give her space...or just a phase?

She lives 10 minutes away and has 2 great kids to 2 different dads. I daughter who is 3 and her new baby son who is about 3 months..She doesnt do drugs. She wants everything now ....Platinum Foxtel...Leather lounge....VE SV6 Commodore.....and the single mums pension of course.

I spend a lot of my time on the Depression/Anxiety threads....but I am lost here....should I just let her find her own way? Any thought/opinion would be gold to me right now.....also...whats an emo?....and yes Im serious..is it a dark and depressed person?

Thankyou for reading and please do respond if you can help...Have a great weekend too!

My kind thoughts and respect

Paul 🙂

[blondguy]

Carol....bless your heart..."A Samoyed will be a hit with the ladies 🙂 " Heaps of married girls around here..they just look...lol 🙂

Sherie....my D knows that I am here for her and its hard for me as a dad that has brought his D up the right way to ensure a good upbringing, but I do appreciate you speaking from the heart. I also know that there are several super cute little dogs around but the well to do owners of them here dont understand the meaning of the word 'Fence'...A Jack Russell bolted straight at me and Prince a couple of weeks ago and took a jaw full of down off Prince's bum and Prince just stared at him with a puzzled look....Maybe the little dogs here have a serious attitude problem....Mr Woof! xx 🙂

I still will send an invite for D as its a great idea x

[Guest_1055]

Hey Mr Woof -:)

Just thought I would pop in for a visit. I have brought along some fresh cinnamon scrolls for you.

Is it true you have two little grandchildren? Well I think that is way special Mr Woof. Are you able to spend much time with them? If no....maybe you could offer to look after them on a regular basis or something. They may help you feel not so isolated and such, plus little ones seem to be so uncomplicated and make us notice the simple things in life. Plus maybe they would benefit from being with you from time to time. Anyway it is just an idea, that came to my mind.

Hope things work out with your mum and dad soon as well.

And have you ever asked your daughter why she is feeling angry? Hope that is OK to ask you that?

Well enjoy the virtual cinnamon scrolls, there are no carbs in these ones.:-)

Sending you a hug now Mr Woof.

Love Shell xx

[blondguy]

Hey Shelleybelly

Its always a treat to see you! and thankyou for the yummy cinnamon scrolls too 🙂..My daughter is 23...her daughter is 3 and has a new baby boy who is 3. My daughter is an adult and has to find her own way. I dont see the kids as my plate has been overflowing recently. I dont really want to offer to look after a 3 year old and 3 month old as I dont have the horsepower mentally. Maybe next year

Dad has a pacemaker now and refuses to use a walker and falls a lot. I havent seen mum for about 3 weeks but my sister has taken over so I can have some respite. Mum & dad separated after 49 years of marriage so I am a tad busy doing the carer thingy.

I really appreciate the hug big time Shelleybelly. I hope its okay if I can ask how your husband is and how you are too....if thats okay of course.

Love Mr Woof!xxx

[Wednesday]

Hi Paul, just dropping by to say hello.

My goodness you do have a lot on your plate, make sure you are taking time to do something nice for you too!

Hugs, xx

[Lost_Girl]

Hey Mr. Woof,

My Mum refused a walker at first because "they are for old people", haha yes it made me chuckle at the time. Eventually she gave in though when she realised not using it meant she couldn't get far. She was a stubborn "old" thing 🙂

I hope your Dad comes around to using one soon.

In the meantime here is a big hug for you!

Carol xx

[blondguy]

Bless you Wednesday and Carol for being there with your support...

With dad yesterday and he dozed off in mid conversation......doh!

Thankyou girls xxx

[Wednesday]

My MIL passed away last year, she had altziemers and did some really funny things. One day I took her to a shopping centre, she loved things that sparkled. Suddenly this prim and proper lady started dancing to the shops music. So I danced too and bought her a spakly bow for her shoes!

Back to you, what are you doing for yourself, she asked?

xx

[blondguy]

Not enough, even though I should be W xx

I am trying Wednesday 🙂

Paul (Hugs) Can I call you 'W' if thats okay of course?

[Petra]

Hey Paul

You sound a bit flat sweet? Perhaps 'just be' at this time and coast for a while. Do only what is necessary. Hubby is struggling at this time (what's that? Another Pet story I hear you say?)! Just a little one! Suffering badly with PTSD. Has for years now. Months ago, on being overwhelmed and mentally paralysed by it, losing all motivation, I suggested 'one thing a day'. Last night he reminded me of this, and said "you know if I do one thing a day, that's 365 things done in a year?" Music to my ears! Clarity does return. It takes time. Even when we have all the advice and support, and know what is required of us to get on top of everything, we need to give ourselves some grace and only deal with what is in our immediate control and influence. You know when it's time to change gear!

I'm sorry you have so much on your plate, and the complexities of it all. I know the challenges of feeling sick and helpless for our children, and caring for elderly parents at the same time. The sandwich generation. I cared for my in-laws. All I can say is it was like being in the Benjamin Button movie, but with two of them! Watching adults steadily revert to children in mind and body and having to adapt and act accordingly. This chapter is closed for me now as a result of FILs death, and reaching the point that MIL needed 24/7 aged care. I'm glad I did all that I could. It was an honour and a privilidge to care for them. We did have some good times, and became very close. I do have permanent physical damage from the manual side of caring though so please do take care of yourself. I would've pressed the point of them using frames and a lot of other, if I knew I would end up with nerve damage but this is life, and for every action there's a reaction, I think they say?

Take care sweet.

Pet xx

[Wednesday]

Hi Paul.

W's fine. Sorry I didn't mean to make you feel down on yourself :(.

I think I understand that you are in one of those dammed if you do dammed if you don't times. You're doing a great job keeping it all together. I just wanted to remind you that you're really important and its essential you do some goods thing for yourself too.

I don't want to see you emptying your emotional bucket and giving everything to everyone else without getting something positive back to fill up the bucket, because that will make you feel extra miserable.

I like Petra's one thing a day makes 365 things in a year, I'll keep that wisdom in mind for myself.

Lots of hugs, xx