My daughter is angry at the world and me

[blondguy]

Hey Everybody. I ma really stuck and need advice with my daughter. I love her to bits but she is angry at the world and me. I have been on the forums since January and being an old guy I just thought I ask for some help. Here is some background...if you can help me

• She gone all gothic and weird...post natal depression...wont talk about it or accept any help...
• Dyed her long blond hair jet black and wears a lot of black and umm...self injured last year when she couldnt see her married BF..
• She sent me a MMS of her 'injuries'...that really hurt to see
• Has just had a baby to her boss...he is married with 3 kids..and he has warned her not to say anything
• she asked me to borrow my 2007 XR8 when she had her car impounded and I said no...Now I am evil for saying no
• i did mention that under 25's cant drive the XR8...she didnt care...she just wanted to use it..I still said no...
• Christmas day 2015 I turned up with presents at her place and she said.."I have had a late night...can you come back tomorrow"?

I use bullet points so it would be easier to read and respond to. (I cant stand mega paragraphs) Do I just give her space...or just a phase?

She lives 10 minutes away and has 2 great kids to 2 different dads. I daughter who is 3 and her new baby son who is about 3 months..She doesnt do drugs. She wants everything now ....Platinum Foxtel...Leather lounge....VE SV6 Commodore.....and the single mums pension of course.

I spend a lot of my time on the Depression/Anxiety threads....but I am lost here....should I just let her find her own way? Any thought/opinion would be gold to me right now.....also...whats an emo?....and yes Im serious..is it a dark and depressed person?

Thankyou for reading and please do respond if you can help...Have a great weekend too!

My kind thoughts and respect

Paul 🙂

[blondguy]

Hi Carol

Thankyou for a kind and sensitive reply and from a great mum it means a lot. You know me well, I havent 'visited' the father of my daughters new baby as it would be unproductive for everyone. I will keep looking after myself like you mentioned. I might have a look into doing a journal....good idea. Hugs Paulxx

[Wednesday]

Hi Paul,

I just had a thought, maybe not good one but thought I would run it past you. I know that you love you daughter and her babies and that it is not easy for you. You also have to make sure that you are careful with and prioritise your health.

So my thought is father's day is coming up. What if (I know this is backwards) you suggest a picnic, to feed the local ducks or a quick park visit as your father's day gift. It doesn't have to be elaborate or long. Just enough to keep you in touch with those lovely grand babies and your daughter. By keeping it light, doing an activity and being in a neutral place, with a toddler to take centre stage, it might just help to start building the bridge?

Then again this may be a really dumb idea so ignore my post. Apart that is from the hug!

Hugs, xx

[Emmy.]

Hi Paul. I can't be much help for you as I don't have children yet but I'm sorry you're relationship with you daughter is strained at the moment. You sound like an awesome Dad Paul - don't give up on her but also look after yourself too! I really like Carols suggestion of writing her a letter, put all your thoughts, worries and concerns onto paper. She can read it and reread it in her own time.

Regarding her relationship with the married man I know he will always be in her life now because of the baby but I hope she can break away from him. Those relationships are toxic and kill the soul. Unfortunately I know, the situation is very different but yeah I can relate. You end up having no self worth, lose confidence and feel very unloveable for a very long time.

Paul I'm thinking of you and here if you need to talk. My time to give you big (mega) hugs.

Emmy xx

[blondguy]

Hey Wednesday 🙂 There is no such thing as a dumb idea or question. What you mentioned is gold. Sometimes the simple things are the best. Me thinks a picnic (and we do have ducks in the reserve here lol) would be a great way to try to clear the air. You have a lot to offer and any advice/support you provide is a gift to me. Paulxx

[Wednesday]

Phew, lots of hugs. xx

[blondguy]

Hey Emmy! You just made my day.....what a wonderful and caring reply........You have said what I thought would be the case with my daughter......Emma said: "You end up having no self worth, lose confidence and feel very unloveable for a very long time"

You have hit the nail on the head here Emma. I really appreciate your support on this..big time.

The ((megahugs)) are appreciated more than you know Emma 🙂 I am glad you (and Wednesday) are here. Paulxx

[Emmy.]

I'm glad my words resonated with you. Here if you want to talk some more Paul. I have all the time in the world for you, you don't know how much your messages helped when I first came back onto the forum.

[blondguy]

Emmy...thanks so much...(sorry about the typo's re Emma) ....Your offer is gold to me...and your memory of when you first came back to the forums..Paulxx

[Emmy.]

I mean it - OK. Aaahh don't say sorry about the name it's all good Emma / Emmy (same same hehe) 😉 It's actually Emily (Emmy is just my nickname so thought I'd use it for BB)

[blondguy]

Thanks Emmy...Emily is a gorgeous name by the way....I know you mean everything you said 🙂

Paulx