Living with Borderline Personality Disorder

lookingforme · ‎17-07-2016

I had absolutely no idea where to put this post, but considering I already have the depressive disorder, I'd put it here. I have just today been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder on top of the depression, does anyone on here have it and is able to summarise it? I don't quite know how to explain it to people other than by listing symptoms, which I don't really want to do. And you know that old saying, if you can't explain it simply enough, you don't truly understand it. It's a strange label.

Suffice it to say that I haven't been having a good time of it lately, and this diagnosis makes me half relieved and half unknowing, which I don't much care for. I just know it's something I will have to work at to manage, and stress aggravates it, and right now, I am nothing but stressed,

Any help is appreciated.

Joelle

lookingforme · ‎09-09-2016

Well...something went missing

lookingforme · ‎10-09-2016

I am signing off now James, catch up with you when I can

xmin · ‎22-09-2016

Hello there,
Just found this thread a little while ago, the managing BPD thread I was on before has died for now. Not really sure where to jump in but I thought I'd say hello and make myself known *friendly wave*

james1 · ‎23-09-2016

Hey xmin 🙂

Welcome to our little thread. As you can see, lots of musings and wonderings here.

Did you want to share if you're a person with BPD symptoms or living with someone who does?

James

xmin · ‎23-09-2016

Hi James 😃

I was diagnosed earlier this year with BPD, and I also suffer from depression and anxiety. Currently medicated and seeing a psychologist- although I'm thinking of pausing my sessions for a bit. How about yourself?

james1 · ‎23-09-2016

I don't have an official diagnosis from a psychiatrist (I only just saw one on Monday and he made me really angry, so I'm going somewhere else), but my psychologist is working on Schema Therapy and DBT with me. She's not a big fan of diagnoses so we're just focussing on what my symptoms are, which I prefer. I'm also currently suffering from depression, but the anxiety seems to have come down a bit. This all came to the fore about 4 months ago.

Why are you looking to stop your sessions? Do you feel like you're better than before?

I'm finding the co-existing depression and BPD to be a real pain to deal with at the same time. Working on one is so much harder because the other seems to get in the way. But I think I've realised it'll take a while so I'm slowing my psychologist appointments just to try and get more routine in my life.

xmin · ‎23-09-2016

Ah, sorry to hear you had a bad experience, hope you're able to find someone you can work with better. Sounds like you're on the right track with your psychologist. My psychologist mentioned that having a concrete diagnosis goes down differently person to person, but for me even though it was shit having another mental illness added to the list it was somewhat comforting. Made me feel a little less crazy for no reason, and that I had something specific I could work on.

I feel like I have stabilised a bit. I was in a relationship before, and that's when I'm the most frazzled. I'm managing alright day to day now, although it was pretty rough for a while. Plus the sessions aren't that cheap. I'll probably resume them at a later time(definitely if I ever get into another relationship), try to continue with my self care.

I kinda get what you mean, it's a lot to untangle and deal with. I've had depression since I was in my mid teens, so I have gotten used to it, but it still creeps up and immobilises me mentally from time to time. What does a regular week look like for you?

lookingforme · ‎23-09-2016

Hello Xmin. Welcome to the thread. Looks like we're all a bit new to this BPD thing...I'm glad you have stabilised a bit. I'm in a "withdrawing" phase at the moment so won't be as consistent with replying. I will try though.

james1 · ‎23-09-2016

Hey xmin

I'm glad the diagnosis helped you out there. I honestly don't know what to think of it anymore so I just focus on the symptoms. Easier that way to understand what's wrong, but it's all very rocky.

Yeah, BPD seems to flare up in close relationships. I'm generally okay with strangers, but anyone who starts to get close...that's what stresses me out.

Did you work on any specific therapy which helped you out?

I work 9-5 during the week during which I'm mainly finding issues with concentration and just lack of motivation and a fear that I'll lose my job. Outside of it, just trying to deal with family mostly at the moment and make sure that's not triggering me too much. I think for me it's more just a matter of having too many thoughts in my head that I just shut them out, but that's when depression just sneaks up and goes, BAM, remember why you hate yourself and all your past failures? It catches me out every single time, haha.

If you don't mind me asking, have you got much support from friends and family?

James

xmin · ‎23-09-2016

Thanks for the welcome lfm, no worries I'll catch you when you happen to drop by =).

Yeah, going through the symptoms/presentations and working out what I had and how it presented was a real eye opener, but it is still a challenge. BPD feels much more complex and confusing compared to depression, but I'm kind of seeing the root of the problem and the whys and hows of the disorder.

Have you managed to make any progress dealing with closer relationships?

There hasn't been any specific therapy I've been using, but we have been discussing sitting with the feelings when they come, and self soothing. I haven't been severely distressed recently but in the past I would get stuck in a highly emotional loop and I wouldn't be able to calm down or get over it. Very tiring. So we've been discussing actions that I can do to relax myself when it comes up, just simple things.

Is work aware of your issues? I have both the concentration and motivation issues, but my job is reasonably secure. I am planning on changing jobs next year, but that hurdle is for later. What's your family situation like? Urgh that's a real downer. Do you have any hobbies/sports/activities that help with your mental activity?

No problem, ask away! Also if I overstep/you don't want to answer all good. I've told a few friends and they've been supportive as they can but it's a little hard. I have numerous friends with depression, but no one I know with BPD. It would kinda be nice to have someone who's going through the same thing, I felt it when I connected with fellow depression-sufferers. I haven't told family as I'm not close to them and I don't see much point in it. Mostly because I didn't have a great childhood and they definitely contributed to the nurture part of it.

xmin