In so much pain because of mood swings (Schizoaffective).

[Simona]

Hello.  I never thought I would be posting here because being sad is just not me.  And my psychologist is not responding and i don't know  what else to do.  And i know night time is coming again and I'm scared

Because i am in a very lowly way and i can only manage short burst of sleep like naps.  My head hurts so bad and i can't stop thinking.  Strange sentences form in my head and roll on like those movie credits for HOURS.   And last night i was ok for abit but come 4am i was mess and the headache was making me feel like i had to vomit but had nothing there.   I have  no appetite and I'm feeling the paranoia - Yesterday i cried. ranted. couldn't breathe properly. That went for4 hrs and I'm still exhausted from it

I told partner please help me.  I just kept repeating it and he kept walking away and then got angry and said "I'm sorry i don't know what to do OK!".     I said please please take me to hospital because i don't want the children to see me like this and i'm so scared but he said no because he said they wouldn't let me out and that he needs to work so we can eat.  Plus not to involve his parents so i must straighten myself up.

I told him these thoughts I'm having are BAD.   So far today I'm ok i think.   I wish i didn't live so rural. I'm trying to relax. i don't think it's fair.  A massage is not helping. Plus i have to listen to this machine gun noise because partner plays this war game

Ps: i know i say things like i want to die but that's not true ok.  I just want whatever is wrong with me to stop

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[Starwolf]

There was a temporary glitch in the forums yesterday. Annoying...

Your Mum would of course be upset to see you so depressed. We all want those we love and care for to be happy. Unfortunately, happiness doesn't come easy when you are suffering a mental illness. It often needs treatment tailored to your needs.

I hope your mh team can find ways to stabilize your moods. I know it sucks but hospital is probably the best place to do that as they can keep a close eye on what works for you and what doesn't. What doesn't can at least be corrected or given up immediately.

It's always a pleasure to spend time in your company. I just wish it could be in easier circumstances for you.

[Guest_9809]

Hi Simona,

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low right now. Your family must be so worried about you. What a coincidence that you mention that drink Ensure, it was only a couple of days ago that I saw some advertisement on TV for it.

If its so awful to drink, surely have other options that are more palatable to you. Maybe a banana smoothie or something like that? Or even better, some tim tam biscuits or something? Sorry ... thats my idea of something yummy, but probably not yours.

I think it was yesterday that you were commencing some ECT treatment. How did it go?

Maybe you'd like a virtual visit from me and little Tammie. We can sit by you and have a chat for a while. Tammie could keep you entertained with some of her little games she likes to play. I expect you'll be missing Bandicoot, Buttercup and Speedy. Although no doubt they'll be missing you even more. As would your kids. I hope they are able to get in to visit regularly.

Its good that your Mum visited too, although its plain that she is upset and concerned about you being in the hospital and not responding well to treatment thus far.

I'll come back and visit again soon Simona. Please take care.

Taurus xx

[Guest_9809]

Hi Simona, I am just dropping in quickly to say goodbye. I am taking a break from the Forums.

But I wanted you to know that I will always think of you as the beautiful soul that you are. I've really enjoyed our friendship and am sad to be leaving. However its something I need to do for both myself and others in my life.

I know I leave you in good hands with Star. All the very best to you. Hugs to you.

Taurus xx

[Guest_5218]

Dear Simona.

I know its been a long time, but do you remember me and my dog Holly from over 12 months ago? We used to talk regularly here. I often think of you Simona, and even during my long unplanned absence, I've been hoping you're doing okay.

I note that you were due to commence ECT treatment at the end of last month. How is that going for you? I hope your partner, children and Bandicoot are all well and happy. And I see you have a couple of new additions to the family since we last spoke - your kittens Buttercup and Speedy. They sound delightful.

It looks like you're going through a particularly difficult time right now Simona, and you havent been around very much lately. But when you're feeling up to it, I'd love to catch up with you again.

As always ........ my kindest wishes and a big hug for you.

Sherie xx

[Wilma1]

Simona💕💕💕💕💕💕 thinking of you.

[monkey_magic]

Two long term threads lighting up again in my threads!!! Welcome back Wilma & maybe Simona 🙂

[Wilma1]

Monkey_magic. Thankyou.

[Wilma1]

Hi Simona, just want to sit with you for a while, hope it's ok. You are not forgotten, you are valued here for the special person you are. I have flowers coming through in my garden, exciting as I haven't done it before. Tulip, red ones, daffodils, snow drops and pansies. I'm showing off because I know some names now.

Ive been where you are regarding ect, and I have gone through the tube feeding, avoid it if you can, the tube feeding I mean. ECT works well for some.

Leaving some daffodils and tulips. 💕💕W

[Simona]

hello dear friends/supporters. I made an attempt on my life but I am home now.

I was hospitalized for at least 8 weeks and have been given 13 rounds of ECT. I feel pretty out of it still. I have trouble with my memory

thank you so much for checking in on me

[Wilma1]

WOW, so good to hear from you. I had the same trouble after ECT, memory loss. Glad you are home with you loving family. I was just thinking of you this morning and was going to pick some pansies from my garden for you. Yellow, white ,purple. I'm putting them on a beautiful table covered with a lace cloth, on each side is a small candle to light in the dark times, like the black current and nectarine you left me some months ago. W 💕💕💕