In so much pain because of mood swings (Schizoaffective).

Simona · ‎21-01-2016

Hello. I never thought I would be posting here because being sad is just not me. And my psychologist is not responding and i don't know what else to do. And i know night time is coming again and I'm scared

Because i am in a very lowly way and i can only manage short burst of sleep like naps. My head hurts so bad and i can't stop thinking. Strange sentences form in my head and roll on like those movie credits for HOURS. And last night i was ok for abit but come 4am i was mess and the headache was making me feel like i had to vomit but had nothing there. I have no appetite and I'm feeling the paranoia - Yesterday i cried. ranted. couldn't breathe properly. That went for4 hrs and I'm still exhausted from it

I told partner please help me. I just kept repeating it and he kept walking away and then got angry and said "I'm sorry i don't know what to do OK!". I said please please take me to hospital because i don't want the children to see me like this and i'm so scared but he said no because he said they wouldn't let me out and that he needs to work so we can eat. Plus not to involve his parents so i must straighten myself up.

I told him these thoughts I'm having are BAD. So far today I'm ok i think. I wish i didn't live so rural. I'm trying to relax. i don't think it's fair. A massage is not helping. Plus i have to listen to this machine gun noise because partner plays this war game

Ps: i know i say things like i want to die but that's not true ok. I just want whatever is wrong with me to stop

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Graceeeeee · ‎01-04-2016

Hey dear Simona!!

Hmm an adventure or wonder walk sounds very nice.. And I'm not legal to drink yet so I wouldn't know what the "demon drink" tastes like, and, maybe have an avocado anyways? It's healthy fat as people say haha, and I guess you just have to keep yourself in check psychically as well, although maybe I'm not one to say that because I eat a lot of fried or fast foods! Anyways, sorry to hear the project is stalled, I definitely hope you'd get sometime soon to finish it?

And I feel very sad for you about your bad day, it is very rude for people to talk like that! They should definitely be more sensitive yes, but you're a gem so don't listen to what they say!! I'm very glad that your two younger babies are back from camp, hope they can keep you good company during the weekends, and I'm glad to hear you find the cemetery a safe place as well.. We do need some quite, alone times away from the world at time 🙂

Anyways, you are beautiful, remember to love yourself and have an amazing weekend!!

With Love,

Grace xx

Bluey_moon · ‎01-04-2016

My dear Simona, I did reply to you earlier but it hasn't showed up.

My love to you because you were scared! I wish I could take the fear away for you!

Im glad your babies are home and that is a comfort to you!

Hang in there hon!

Starwolf · ‎02-04-2016

Hi Simona,

Good to know your children came back to brighten your days. I hope their camping adventure went well. I bet they have stories to tell and good memories to keep...

Have a great week-end catching up.

Simona · ‎02-04-2016

Well it just happened so fast. My children came home then I had to see the mental health people . And I wasn't allowed home . I protested and I was injected with a drug. Now I'm in a hospital . This ph is going flat and they haven't given back my stuff yet . I want to go home so much I don't like it here

Graceeeeee · ‎02-04-2016

Hey dearest Simona..

Oh God I'm so sorry to hear about what happened! It must be hard and frightening for you to stay in the hospital, and being injected with drugs doesn't sound that nice either! I really hope your children or partner get to visit you in the hospital at least to make you feel better, tell them to bring an avocado or some other home made food? I guess that will make your stomach feel better at least, are you feeling a bit sick as well? I'm sorry to hear about this event, hope you get to go home soon!!

Thinking of you 🙂

With Love,

Grace xx

Starwolf · ‎03-04-2016

Hey Simona,

So sorry to read about this new turn in your situation. I hope you soon get your stuff back so you can at least communicate with the outside world and still have a touch of familiarity in this new environment.

Sometimes the Universe assumes control when things get out of hand. Hindsight often shows that unexpected situations happen for the best. Meanwhile we are thrown out of kilter and fear the worst. Please remember that most of the scary scenarios we invent and play in our minds never happen in reality.

Hang in there Simona. I am sure your loved ones and hospital staff have your best interest at heart. Resting and trusting sound like your best bet at the moment. You are strong and smart, you'll get through this.

I hope you can still access these forums so that we can keep offering company, understanding and support during these challenging times. We care. Our heart goes out to you.

Guest_5218 · ‎03-04-2016

Dear Simona,

I am really sorry to hear that you are in hospital. I feel confident that you are in good hands and that these people will do what is best for you. Please try not to fight them. Accept the help they are willing to provide you with. I hope your hubby has brought the children in to visit you, and to keep you company. And I also hope that you have all your stuff back by now and you've have been able to recharge your phone. Because that will enable you to see that we are all thinking of you, and willing you to get well quickly.

Sherie xx

Simona · ‎03-04-2016

Hello . Well I really want to go home but I was told I need to wait and be patient. They gave back some things but the rest is in a locker. No I don't have visitors. I don't want them here anyway. This is not place for children. There is contact via my mobile. The other inpatients have been very nice and friendly . But sometimes there is loud yelling and I retreat back to my room. Good news is that I have friends and I got a hug today . Also I'm part of a walking group. It's supervised but it's nice. There's some real funny sorts here. Even so, I want to go home ASAP .

thank-you for caring : ) I'LL BE BACK . Just getting 'fine tuned '

Guest_5218 · ‎03-04-2016

Thats fantastic news Simona, I'm so pleased.

I'm glad you are making some friends in there too, and even a hug. Wow!

A walking group is good also, but I'm sure it wouldnt be as good as Shelley's walking group here on BB. ( - :

Alright then Simona, it sounds like you are in good hands there, and you sound happy.

I'm glad that you have retained your wonderful sense of humour.

Here's hoping the fine tuning can be done quickly thus allowing you to get home again ASAP.

Meanwhile keep in touch with us here wont you, just to let us know how you're doing.

Of course I care! And I miss you Simona. So be good, and get well ................ Come back soon.

Sherie xx

Bluey_moon · ‎03-04-2016

My Dear Simona,

I am so sorry you are in hospital! It must have been very scary for you when it happened!

Honey, like Sherie said, I feel everyone has your best interests though! And I know they all want you to feel better and less scared!

Im glad you are getting to talk to your partner and kiddies on the phone as you must miss them!

I am glad you are able to have a good time there and make friends!

Take care hon,

Skye xo