I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Music_Freak]

I don't feel like I'm doing well, just making sure I keep busy...is that avoidance behaviour?

It's going to feel good doing nothing today.

I'm stressing a bit thinking about driving to a job network appointment tomorrow though...maybe I'll just bus it and come home and go put air in the tyres/get petrol.

It could be too much with the appointment (the going and putting air in the tyres isn't bothering me so much)

[james1]

If you can, try to put aside tomorrow. That's for tomorrow.

You can also just write down what you'll do tomorrow (i.e. exactly what you just said, bus it) and put it in a drawer somewhere. That way, it feels like you've made the plans you needed to and put it aside 🙂

[Music_Freak]

I'm trying not to think about it too much, I'm probably over reacting anyway...I should just do it and not think about having to do it, but my brain doesn't seem to work that simply, not this year anyway 😞

Busing it takes away some of the stress, even if I'll have to be up and mobile earlier

Bring on the weekend...please.

[Wednesday]

It sounds like you made a workable decision to go by bus and do some car stuff later.

I'm not sure that you are avoiding, you are doing stuff. If you think back a little while you wouldn't have been able to do the things you have done this week. Come on give yourself a break! You have done some really good stuff this last week, this is progress me thinks?

Good luck tomorrow morning. xx

[Music_Freak]

Thanks...I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but I'm my own worst critic

I have done more than I would have a few months ago...but what I've done doesn't seem like enough

Once I get through tomorrow I'm hoping I'll feel semi-normal again

[Dora27]

I've just read this thread. Narelle start being kind to yourself. Your life is pretty difficult with an unsupportive family and having lost the one family member who was kind to you. You keep falling down but then you get back up. You deserve enjoyment and happiness and love. Don't say unkind things about yourself. Be good to yourself. Be the person you needed when you were younger.

I love hearing about Buddy the bed hog. I have a black cat called sookie and she sits on the table all the time, I used to love 'the famous five' when I was young and I used to write fan fiction about them. You write very well.

Start being kind to yourself. Stop bullying yourself. Try and find one happy moment in every day.

hugs to you.

Dora x

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

Just take it one day at a time. If you do one activity a day right now that's great. You can look at increasing what you do when you feel ready. It is better to do one thing and cope than it is to set out to do more than is realistic and have it feel like a set back.

From what has happened before the setbacks are really hard for you right now. Keep it simple until you build up more confidence.

You're doing great!

[Wednesday]

Hi,

Just dropping in to say good luck today. Hopefully you can silence that inner critic enough to see all the good you are doing. I don't know what normal is or even semi normal, but I do know that you have come quite a distances s give ourself a little love heh!

hugs, xx

[Guest_5218]

Hey Narelle, good luck with the Job Network Appointment today. All will be well, fear not.

Hugs to you.

Sherie xx

[Lost_Girl]

Sending some positive vibes your way xx