I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Emmy.]

Didnt the contractor come out and measure it?? Please don't me so hard on yourself x

[Emmy.]

*dont be so hard on yourself

[Wednesday]

Whoa Narelle,

Stop and take a breathe. Tell these silly negative thoughts to take a hike and stoop panicking! It's just a glitch these things happen.

So where are you up to have you spoke to the contractor or council as Emmy wisely suggested? You can probably build to the border will it fit there? A carport is pretty run of the mill, so I suspect a simple council form and not a lot of fuss will do it.

Hugs, xx

[Music_Freak]

I've cancelled the whole damn thing. It can't go against the boundary because it's uneven ( a corner is cut off). I'd have to get something designed and I was quoted $450 for that and $1500 to put it up...kinda not worth it when I'm renting

I'm going to walk to the shops to drown my sorrows in junk food and maybe try and buy a lounge suite instead, not that that's probably worth it

I'm utterly and totally sick of everyone but me getting what they want and/or coasting through life

[Music_Freak]

I'm not worth it

[james1]

Hey Narelle,

Today's not going so well for you, but you absolutely are worth it and deserving of a better day.

I think it's time to say: "today's work is done". Stuff can wait until tomorrow or the day after when you can tackle it with a fresher mind.

You've done a lot already in the past few days. It's time for a break, what do you reckon? Do you want to check in at the cafe and let us know what kind of junk food you're craving? I really want some sour lollies right now!

James

[Emmy.]

That's a shame you've cancelled it hun. Take it easy this evening. Let's talk about something nice....

.... How's your fan girl writing coming along xx

[Music_Freak]

It isn't...I haven't written a word.

I guess I could try now that I've finished MYOB...I think I've finished anyway

[Emmy.]

You should some of your writing with us 🙂 would love to read some x

[Wednesday]

Hi Narelle,

Okay, so you didn't get what you wanted, but it didn't cost you anything and you learnt about council planning. I don't quite understand how that makes you "not worth it"?

Those dam negative voices of yours need to keep their unhealthy opinions to themselves.

Have a nice evening in the cafe. Did you find a lounge suite?

Hugs, xx