I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Birdy77]

Hello MF,

You said "it's well known that no one bothers with me". Look at the people on bb who are here for you, cheering you on. Is that no one?

It's not a reflection on you if your old penpal hasn't replied. Who knows what's going on in her world (I think social media can be a very deceptive platform).

I know it can hurt though. I've experienced similar , but have also been the slack one at times and taken ages to respond to somebody ....

I guess I'm trying to say to try not to take it as a personal affront. She may be struggling herself ....

About looking at real estate, who knows what the market will be like in 5 or 6 years time, after you've graduated and found work. It could have plummeted for you by then.

Try not to get discouraged with uni. I know it's hard, but remember you are doing subjects that you dislike (they're the hardest), plus, you are still adjusting to studying, that takes time. It will get easier as time goes by.

🌻birdy

[smallwolf]

Hi, I will be going for the Eagles as well. On your comments re Uni... My hope is that it will become easier for you now that you know the ropes. I found the first few subjects the hardest as I had to get used to a new style of writing and referencing. And the material is new. The further into the course you get you are building on existing knowledge. And that existing knowledge can be used in assessments. So, deep breath in, you are passing, you can ask for no more than that.

Tim

[Music_Freak]

Thankfully I've been busy with uni revision, so I haven't been thinking about the penpal much...but for at night, which is nearly as bad as all day...

I know that I have "friends" on BB, albeit anonymous ones, but it isn't the same. That's what I meant by no one bothers with me. Hell, when I first posted I didn't think anyone would bother replying!

Yeah, lets hope the real estate market plummets and doesn't go the other way! I guess I'll just stay put and keep on saving...and saving, and saving...I guess I know that I can do it. I save on my current minuscule income.

And Tim, oh how I hope you're right about uni getting easier!! What you say makes a lot of sense 🙂

I know I do go on and on about struggling and P1's, so thank you all for putting up with me, and the CONSTANT reassurance. I do constantly need it...

[Music_Freak]

EEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I JUST GOT MY FIRST HIGH DISTINCTION!!!!!!!!!!!

For the second early brain development quiz....I must have totally fluked it, but still....I got 34.5/40.

I got a P1 for the last one....

[smallwolf]

See. You can do it.

Happy for you.

Tim

[Music_Freak]

First ever P2...eeek!

For the essay plan...the lecturer said it was “muddled” which I kind of see having read it again...oh well.

A bit of a downer after the HD though.

[Birdy77]

Congratulations MF!

You're doing it.

You're passing and wow, an HD, doesn't get any better than that!

Doesn't matter that your plan was "messy", it's just a plan, and not the final essay.

Take the lecturer' s feedback and build on it.

I'm so sorry you're missing your Mum so much this week. She'd be so proud of you 😊

🌻birdy

[Music_Freak]

Yeah, it's been hard missing my mum, because she's the first person I want to tell my results to, but I can't and it takes a second to remember that she's not around...so I come here and write about them (poor you all). I've got no one else to tell but facebook friends. I hope my mum would be proud...

I wish I'd done the plan differently now, especially when the lecturer said he was confused reading it...but I'll know next time. I'll be starting the essay this week - YIKES!!

Now I just want to crawl into bed and hide. I just did the second applied psychology quiz and have no idea how I did. It closes at %pm, so hopefully I get results quickish. I'm going to sit outside with Buddy and try and relax for the afternoon.

[Music_Freak]

That's, closes at 5PM in case you haven't figured it out already...gotta love my nervy typing!

[Music_Freak]

I just got the blue and purple hair wax I bought a while ago. Time to funkify my short short fauxhawk hair.

Next door is always judging, so I'll be a topic of gossip yet again in my street.

Oh you clueless clueless people...