I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Music_Freak]

I can feel a big awful failure coming for this essay...I've already been in tears about it and don't know where to turn. I can only find help with work once you've started through the uni help...

I've scraped together 126 words of the essay plan together, including 2 references and have no idea what I'm doing still...I can feel more tears coming 😞

Anyway, it's 12pm...better get back to it 😞

[quirkywords]

Music,

well done for keep working at it.

I am not sure why you can't get help until you start through uni, I thought you had started at uni- I must be confused.

Just some ideas about how to write your essay plans.

Essay plan

Write your essay in one sentence at the top of the page – you'll flesh this out into your introduction.

Write 3 or 4 key points that you think will support your ideas.
Try to write each point in one sentence. These will become your topic sentences.

Under each point, write down one or two examples from your research that support your point.

These can be quotes, paraphrased text from reliable authors, etc.

Remember to reference your examples when you write up your essay.

Finally, write the main point you want to leave – that's your conclusion.

My motto was that you can get marks if you don't write something. So keep going and even if you are repeating yourself, hopefully you will get feedback from your tutor to help you .

If you show you have a introduction

the body of the essay

a conclusion

and put information in the right places that is a start.

I am trying to help and not confuse you.

I am proud of you keep going. I will be around today.

I am assuming this is the plan and not the essay so hopefully you will get helpful feedback form the plan.

How many words does the plan need to be.

Quirky

.

[Music_Freak]

I have started uni, back in July...I meant, started the essay. Sorry, I typed with teary eyes...

Yeah, I will get feedback from the plan and it's 750 words for the plan, 2250 for the essay.

I'm so stressed and emotional that I will take any help offered. Plus I will definitely email my lecturer before the essay, if I need, since it's worth 60% - YIKES!!

[quirkywords]

Music, when I wrote my post above, I did not know Birdy had given you great advice already as I could only see your post without losing mine.

So she has given you very specific help and I have seen it is 750 words which would be maybe one long post and a bit.

Definitions of democracy, and what serves well means and what Australian parliamentary system is

is good- definitions take up words. So each definition is a sentence and that takes up words.

Take care

Quirky

Maybe keep a list of things you are unsure of so you can tell your tutor when you get feedback.

[Music_Freak]

I'm at 307 words (no references)...now to just bulk it out a bit with research tomorrow.

I've got to pack up now, my brain is foggy and I'm a bit dizzy.

Thanks for your ideas Quirky - hopefully I'm on the right track!

Now to decide if I can spare the time to shop Sunday, or it's a drive to nowhere in particular tomorrow morning...

[Music_Freak]

I went for a drive just now, since it'll be raining tonight and tomorrow.

There was road works, detours and all sorts happening...it left me bamboozled and more stressed than I was before I finished uni work and was about to leave home!!

Good lordy...why do a put myself through so much hellish stuff?!?!

[Music_Freak]

I'm feeling pretty useless and hopeless tonight...

Even starting to wonder if I should just give up on uni after this semester. With grades somewhere between 55-65% I'm clearly not that good at it...

I need someone to talk to, but there's always nobody - even Buddy's asleep at the foot of the bed. Maybe I should just sleep too...

[smallwolf]

When I started Uni all those years ago, there were a few subjects I got passes only. You are not failing. I know of other people who I thought were smart who only got passes as well. Tell yourself that you are passing the subject. (You are NOT failing.)

When you get a paper back, do you have the option to follow up with your lecturer about what you can do for next time? Also, can you speak with your lecturer about your ideas before you submit? That way you will get an idea if you are on the right track.

On researching... if I get stuck, this is what I do... find a page on wikipedia. (And I wont use that for a reference!) But I will jump down to the reference section or external pages, and find an article that is related to what I am looking for, and start there. If the article is good, you will then have a stack of other references to use. And when you read the article you might find other search terms that you can use. Also make use of the librarian! If you say "I am looking for ..." they will generally have a good idea where to look.

One lecturer told me that 2 hours or intense research/writing is better than 10 hours fantasy researching. What that means is shutting yourself off from the outside world and just concentrating on the research/writing part. The 10 hours is when your are constantly interrupted, doing other things etc. so that your output is reduced.

So... you have started a new course. GOOD. You are passing. Also GOOD. You are learning new skills. GOOD.

You have it within you to do this. Birdy knows it and so does Quirky and many others (including me).

Tim

[Music_Freak]

Thank you for you post Tim, it is much appreciated as always. I am needing the positive reinforcement from you and Birdy right now, that's for sure!! I'm battling the thoughts of dropping out - AGAIN!! Quirky's post broke everything down to easy steps as well 🙂

I don't think I have time to contact the lecturer about being on the right track when the plan is due Monday morning (silly me, should have been more prepared/organised! But at least I'm meeting the deadline - I just finished, so will read through and submit tomorrow), but I will DEFINITELY follow up with him before the essay due date - again, I need all the help I can get!!

[quirkywords]

Music,

You are getting a lot of good support here.

You are not alone in feeling like you do as most people writing their first essay plan, or essay are full of self doubt.Even people you think are super clever and super confident have self doubts.

You have achieved a lot. You have written something to hand in. You will seek out more feedback so you can handle your essay .

You are more than capable of studying at uni, you just need help in essay techniques.

Is there are a learning centre at your uni where you can get help with study techniques?

Well done, I am proud of the way you are hanging in there.

You have a large cheer squad here.

Quirky