I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Music_Freak]

Well, I was going to start a group on the meetup site but it costs $10-$15US a month, so that's a no go. I thought of facebook but I don't even know what I'd call the page/group!

[Wednesday]

Hi Narelle,

Is the new work for the dole job interesting? I like the idea of walking either way. Bummer about the meet up group. It's great about the social and group tho. I can see it's tricky tho if you are socially anxious going to a social anxiety group would be difficult. I guess the good thing is that everyone else is going to be feeling anxious too.

But the good news is the more you do it the easier it will be and the neural pathways thicken and the old pathway doesn't get to grow anymore. I hope you can make it to the group, every baby step helps.

Have a lovely weekend.

Hugs, x

[Music_Freak]

The new place is a magazine I've never heard of, it could be interesting.

I saw a new counsellor and got told about a job cleaning at the airport, but I fell asleep instead of calling my consultant. I'm not going to get my hopes up. Halestorm are meant to be coming in a few months...I wonder if I could take time off so soon?

I'm feeling all muddled today 😞

[Wednesday]

Hi Narelle,

The magazine does sound interesting as does the airport job.

You do sound a little muddled though. I'm not sure what you mean about the hailstorms or taking time off?

Time to rest up over the weekend.

Be kind to yourself. Hugs, x

[Music_Freak]

Halestorm (the band) are coming to Australia in January. I'm wondering about, if I give the airport carrier cleaning job a go and get it, how do I go about getting a week or whatever off in January?

Seems easier to just say no to it (the job) and that's kind of depressing

[Wednesday]

Oh, haha...

What I would do is take the job if its offered and say you already have tickets for the concert and would it be okay if you had xx day off to attend. You understand of course that you wont be paid for that day.

x

[Music_Freak]

What about for a week/10 days? Nothing's been confirmed, I'm just assuming.

The whole thing has me in knots 😞

An online friend says to say it was already planned and can't be re-scheduled/is non negotiable

I guess I have to actually get the job first, I'm not even sure how likely that is

[Wednesday]

I've had staff arrange with me to have time off at the beginning of their job. I don't recall it being a problem.

Do be keen about the role, let them know you are grateful for the job and thank them for their help. Say you had already purchased the tickets and that you realise it is a tricky request but you didn't realise at the time that this job was going to come up etc. etc.

A bit of genuine smooching cant hurt. x

[Music_Freak]

That makes me feel a little better about the whole thing. I'll be ringing in the morning, so we'll see.

I'm even anxious about making all the phone calls I need to 😞

[Wednesday]

Of course you're anxious but it's okay you can do it. Feel the far and do it anyway as they say. Back to neural pathways the more of this sort of call you make the. easier it will become.

You have done so well over the last little while, don't let those nasty brain terrorists get to you. Look at your achievements, the gardening and rubbish sorting for example and tell them to get lost in whatever form colourful language feels right!

Hugs, x