I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

It's her loss. Unfortunately you had the wrong friend. I hope you continue to improve so that you can get out and meet some new people. I am confident that you will find some friends more deserving of your company. I have met a lot of people like your old friend but luckily I have met a select few of genuine caring souls. These take more time to find but are worth it. You will find some, don't give up hope.

I hope you are doing ok today xx

[Music_Freak]

Yeah, just a quiet day in bed, trying to prep my brain for the week. Even though it'll be short, it still feels a little overwhelming

I had a chat with another friend online, so I do feel better, but still a bit down. Maybe having a busy week is what I need

[Lost_Girl]

Hi,

Being busy (distractions) can be a good way to move forward. Perhaps you can also start a list of things to keep you occupied at home too. Have you met any new people through work?

Kind thoughts,

Carol xx

[Music_Freak]

I'm not going in to volunteer this eeel, they're having technical issues with just about everything, so it's just shopping and appointments that need doing.

I just chat with a few people there, it hasn't gone further than that. I'm thinking about learning how to play bridge and joining a local club, but my work for the dole stuff has to be over with first

[Wednesday]

Hi,

I love that despite some set backs you are still in there giving it a go and thinking of the what's next stuff.

Bridge next hey, I tried that years ago but I couldn't remember all the combinations and my partner found me most frustrating since I didn't actually care about winning. Umm I think I have the wrong personality for Bridge, but it would certainly help keep your brain sharp. I look forward to reading your Bridge instalment.

Hugs, x

[Music_Freak]

I'm not sure bridge will happen, I'll see next year, probably. It looks kind of complicated, plus I'm not the most intelligent leaf on the tree. I'm not sure if there's something else I could do...maybe I could learn to knit or something

I've had to change my work for the dole place because they close for a month and that's not good enough for centrelink...

I'm planning to walk about 30-40 mins every afternoon, so that will be good exercise 3-4 times a week, along with gardening. I bought 2 packs of pringles today so any exercise will be good, since I'm on a junk food binge lately

I'm feeling really down just lately...probably because of everything that's happened. I'm trying to stay focused on stuff. I'm driving to the shops in the morning for house stuff...hopefully I can drag my butt out of bed

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

You have some great plans and ideas. If you lookup "meeting place" for your area there are a lot of different categories like boardgames, cycling, travelling, movies and more. Perhaps you might find something of interest looking through it.

You are helping me feel motivated. I am writing up my goals and plans as I read through my pain management book. Thanks for helping keep me inspired.

Cheers

[Music_Freak]

Not having a good day today, I don't feel well and haven't been shopping. I can go tomorrow but I've made tomorrow worse for myself by not going today.

Just beating myself up, I guess 😞

I don't even feel like eating today. I did make toast and a cuppa but didn't even enjoy it

[Wednesday]

Hey, we all have rubbish days.

Put this one down to your brain terrorists playing tricks on you. Today is just today, tomorrow you'll feel better. I thought your regular walk idea was a good one and Carol came up with some ideas for you to check out too.

Take it easy today, rest up, cuddle Buddy and find some protein and veggies (sorry couldn't help that one).

Hugs, x

[Music_Freak]

I do feel better after snoozing next to Buddy, just worried about not sleeping tonight. I might just take sleep meds

I found a social anxiety group I'm thinking about going to, if I can fit it around everything, otherwise I'll make it my new years resolution or something

The walking is because I've had to change work for the dole places...just trying to make the best of it. I have to buy a shirt to walk in (I hate the sun on me), but I'll do it, you never know, I might lose some weight