I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Music_Freak]

Enrolments for next year open in the morning and I can't even see me making it through to the end of that semester...

[Guest_820]

Hi there MF

It's an extremely stressful time of the year for all those at uni + otherwise.

Have you thought of having a relaxing bath ot shower just before going to bed. Deep breathing exercises whilst laying in the bed.

By focusing on your breathing with help you with those dreadful anxiety episodes.

Be Patient.

Don't expect miracles.

It will help by just laying peacefully to allow your body to unwind naturally..

You'll get through this..

I know You Can...

Regards

Chikkenleggs-CL

[Music_Freak]

All enrolled for next semester...god I hope I cope better...

Now I'm trying to get my head into getting all assessments done before revising for my two exams.

I'm not doing great so far...can't seem to focus at all

[Music_Freak]

Well, I bused it to the shops...figured I'd do something productive since I'm failing at uni work...

Going to get up at 6 tomorrow and work through the day...or try to - have a lot that needs to be done

[smallwolf]

MF,

It sounds like you might be procrastinating a little. And that is OK... to a degree. I do it as well.

But there are times that once you start studying you get into a roll and then want to continue to do it. An alternative might be using an activity planner?

Another thing to think about is whether you are a morning person or evening/night time person? Can you study with background music? Or not? When can you study best? For me, it is late at night or very early morning when there are no distractions. ZERO.

Finally, unless I missed a post, you are not failing. You are passing. And that is all you need to do.

Tim

[Music_Freak]

I have no idea when I study best, but I've been trying all morning and nothing so far. I have been doing other things though, but that happens a lot of the time. I have to at least get enough done to submit tomorrow, but honestly, it may as well be written in Japanese I'm retaining so little...I think there is something wrong with me, there has to be. I need to get this work done so I'm free to revise for my two exams (luckily there isn't four!!) and finish the politics essay, but nope, my brain is in a fog that just won't lift.

Oh joy...I just want to curl up and cry...

[Birdy77]

Hello Narelle,

I never totally figured out when I studied best either ... but when things are due, you just have to get it done, even if it's not the quality you would like.

Maybe instead of having the mindset of getting up at 6 to work "all day" ... maybe you could try thinking of it more in small intervals, like "I will work on this for one hour and then have a 15 minute break" or work on something for 2 hours, then go for a 20 minute walk and have a cuppa and start working again for another hour ...

Just to break it down so "all day" doesn't "paralyse" you. That sort of thing works better for me anyway.

🌻birdy

[Music_Freak]

Yes, when things are due the stress levels rise big time...

I'm trying to give myself study breaks, I try and give myself 15 mins every 2 hours, or thereabouts. I usually take Buddy outside for a wander in the yard.

I think pushing myself just means I'm hitting burn out mode quicker, so probably not the best plan. I still aim for 4-5 hours uni work time a day, but giving myself days off I'm finding tricky lately (the guilt hits). I think I'm in burn out mode now and it's affecting my concentration levels badly

[Music_Freak]

I'm trying to force my brain into writing this politics essay, but it's tough going...I plan to do full days but with many small breaks playing quick games on my phone, hopefully that doesn't mean I take too long to re-focus on this damned boring essay!! I've got music on, so we'll see if that helps or hinders.

[Music_Freak]

Wrote over 500 words, which was good. Decided to space out the other two parts over Wednesday/Thursday (essay is due 5pm Monday) I have a psychologist appointment tomorrow, so I'm not sure I'll get any work in beforehand. I have other stuff I can do too, so we'll see.

Taking the rest of the day off because I don't feel great, my eyes are dry or something and throat is sore...hopefully the guilt doesn't hit...