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I'm really trying to feel better about myself
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I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...
I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.
My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"
My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!
I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land
I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...
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You're a normal human being who has feelings just as anyone else does so please dont put yourself so down. Yes, all those issues are beyond your own control. You're "hurting"... That's absolutely normal. That's a normal reaction to those who are suffering..
Keep your head up high. You're as good as the next person. You maynot believe that. Yet you are.
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Thanks for your post chikkenleggs, and welcome to the BB forums 🙂
I'm plodding along with life, but sometimes even the simplest of things are tough...
For my regular readers/repliers, I'm liking this self imposed week off from uni, but I'm wondering just how I'll get back into the swing of things and how hard it will be for me...but Monday is d-day, so to speak. I'm going to force myself to go shopping tomorrow and actually get out of the house, and drive...
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Hello Music Freak
Nice hearing from you.
Thank you for the question you posted.
There's an umpteen amount of practical medically researched advice + ideas on that question.
As for starters, I'll give just 1 suggestion.
Then think about it. (take your time) After you've thoroughly thought it through, then Try....
Taking Each Day As It Comes..
Focus On What You Can Do Just For Today + Today Only, Not What Happened Yesterday or What's Going on Tomorrow + Thereafter.
Focus on what you can do just for today.
Focus on what you can do just for today
Repeated for Emphasis.
May Not be Easy.
Yes, You Can Do It.
Yes, You Can Do It.
Remember Baby Steps First
Regards,
CL
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Super proud of myself...
I just finished putting up a roller blind all by myself. There were a few f ups, but only with holes I'll have to fill/fix when I move with plaster.
Also did 2-4 hours of revision for uni quizzes this morning.
Productive day. Now I'm going to have a shower and crawl into bed to watch TV 🙂
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Put a second blind up yesterday, on a west facing window, so maybe it'll help with the summer heat, slightly. I'm not totally convinced, but we'll see.
Did one of the quizzes I need to do today, so we'll see what my result is...took the rest of the day off, other than doing my dishes. Will start revising properly for the other by Friday
I found a penpal I had when I was 16, who's in Perth. We'll see if I hear back. Her life is nicely established so I hesitated getting in contact for months, if not longer, mostly because I'm me and am even struggling with uni, after everything that's happened with me over the years.
Now I'm in bed after changing my sheets and putting on a new electric blanket and mattress protector, trying not to cry
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Hello MF,
It is so cool that you put those blinds up! It's a great feeling doing things like that maybe we've never done on our own before.
I understand those feelings when we compare ourselves and our lives to others, especially those we've known in the past.
I can only encourage you to be compassionate to yourself. Your path is your unique journey, nobody else has walked in your shoes ... you have survived your pains and heartaches and continue to pick yourself up, care for Buddy, strive to improve your life, and bravely face this mixed-up world.
There is merit and courage in all of that.
Give yourself a hug. You are worthy.
🌻birdy
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Thanks Birdy 🙂
I just don't really know about anything anymore. I don't know if I'll even be buying a place, lately when I look at real estate, what I'd want and what I could maybe afford seem like very different things.
Mind you, I need to graduate first - that's turning into a weekly (or more frequent) battle...I just don't think I'm good enough. If I'm struggling in my first semester, just how much harder will it all get? It terrifies me, really.
I got a notification on instagram, or I thought I did, from the penpal...but there was nothing there. I guess she changed her mind or something. Pretty typical with me...I guess I'll follow her and see
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I knew it...
Nothing from the old penpal. I should've known and gone with my gut feeling to not put myself out there...after all, it's well known that no one bothers with me...
Back to uni revision tomorrow, and the Eagles in the grand final Saturday.
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Hi Music Freak
Back again....
Read your posts since we spoke last....
Remember.....
"Focus on what you can do today"....
"Take each day as it comes."
"Baby steps" ....
Well Done!!!! ...
With so many tasks during the week....
As for penpal....
Time to move on....
Ain't easy...
To Let Go...
Try to focus on
"New Beginnings"...
Your progressing...
That's awesome...
Regards,
CL
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