I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Music_Freak]

Thanks Quirky 🙂

There definitely is learning support on campus, but online I'm not 100% sure how it works. I did look into it before I started uni, but have forgotten it all now, stupidly

[Music_Freak]

So, I'm on holidays and all I want to do is cry...

It's not even holidays, it's a teaching break...I still have a quiz to revise for and do before the 30th and of course...working on the politics essay. God knows when I'll get the plan back, I'm still waiting to get the assignment before that back. I'm dreading the all the marks already...

I just want to crawl into a hole and hide, or that other d word 😞

[quirkywords]

Music,

have you finished and handed in your plan. you are doing well. returning to study is very hard. It will get better.

I wanted to give up a lot of the timer but am glad I didn't.

Take there are many supporting you here

Quirky

[Birdy77]

Dear MF,

You did so well ... you completed it!

You have such great support in here and Quirky and Tim gave great help over the weekend, it's wonderful.

Don't worry too much about the marks and result if you can, the main thing is you submitted something, there's lots of ways through ... there's chance for resubmission, there's guidance you can seek after they provide feedback ... it's just the plan, not the major essay, so give yourself a break and congratulate yourself for getting it done! It's a great achievement especially when you were telling yourself and all of us that you couldn't even do it.

Well done MF.

🌻birdy

[Music_Freak]

Thanks Quirky and Birdy 🙂

I'm not feeling overly confident about the plan, or the essay, for that matter. I just feel like I did too much wrong with the plan...at least I submitted something, I guess. I don't understand about re-submissions and the losing marks for late submissions. I didn't plan on doing any of it.

Anyway, I'm trying not to think about it too much. I've got two assessment quizzes to revise for over the holidays...I'm not looking forward to that much either. I only got a credit and a P1 on the last two.

Oh well, I'm out and about doing stuff for most of this week...I'll try and knuckle down and get back into study around Thursday.

[Birdy77]

"P's Get Degrees"

[Music_Freak]

I know Birdy...but they make me feel like I'm failing...

[Guest_1055]

You are doing super good Narelle. Keep going!

Me xx

[Birdy77]

All you need to do is Pass, especially during this transition period of starting the degree.

If you were failing, guess what they would give you?

(Hint: it doesn't start with "P")

[Music_Freak]

Big F's. F1 & F2. After that I'm not sure what happens.

Actually, I think an F1 is as low as you can get and still pass, I'm not sure...don't ever want to get that low!!

My psychologist told me she failed a subject and had to re-do it. God I hope that doesn't happen to me...