I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Music_Freak]

Thanks Birdy...I did, just!!

I thought I might have a reaction to it though - bang, I wake up with a headache that turned migraine 😞

I hope my glasses didn't help cause it...it started yesterday afternoon.

I've got stuff I could be doing to help my work group assignment, but no...too sicky.

I think I'll be busing it for those 2 days in November. Driving was by far the most anxiety riddled part of yesterday.

The people were nice, which was good. I just felt pretty utterly stupid...as usual...

[Ggrand]

Hello MF,

Well done yes you did it, didn't you? I'm so proud of you for being so brave..

Awwwwe MF, sorry about your migraine, When I get migraines I usually put a cool damp cloth around my neck, and it helps get rid of the sharpness..I'm thinking that maybe your migraine has come because of your different sitting position and sitting for a long time, just maybe different neck/head muscles were used...

Very well done MF...you done the hardest bit in attending your first uni class on campus..🌹..

Good Night hun I hope you get a good nights sleep...

Grandy...

[Music_Freak]

I'm feeling better today, just really OVERWHELMED...I don't even know how to organise myself right now, and could just cry...

All I've done is divide my whiteboard into four and name the subjects, I feel like I can't breathe. I've got two questions to answer from Thursday (the group assignment) and the tutorial activity printed out, but I'm not organised with the other three subjects.

Cup of tea time, it's only 9:45...deep breaths...

[Music_Freak]

I've just seen that I have something due on the 27th and I have no idea where to start...

I feel so inadequate, stupid and unprepared for this...I can help thinking that I was kidding myself even applying to uni...

My headache is back, so I just want to sob in the corner.

[Ggrand]

Hello MF,

Ok hun you have something due on the 27th that's 6 days away...just breathe in nice and deep, then hol and breathe out ahhhh relax.

You can do this MF, please don't berate yourself, because you are none of them...You have proved to me and others time and time again, just how clever you are,myou are NOT inadequate or stupid...Maybe set aside a couple of hours daily to do some of your assignment...I really know nothing about uni lessons, assignments etc..I only done one year of high school. and have absolutely no idea about your work load...but I do believe that it must be achievable to be set for completion on the 27th...

Have a good cry MF, let out all your stress, then pick yourself up....dust yourself down and find that confidence you had in yourself when you first applied to uni and you do the best you can...that's all anyone can ask of us...

Thinking of you,

much love and hugs..🤗❤️..

Grandy...

[Birdy77]

Hey MF,

Listen to lovely Grandy.

6 days is an eternity ... you are going to get this done, and we will help you.

How much is it worth in terms if marks?

Don't panic.

All will be well.

🌻birdy

[Music_Freak]

There's no assignments in this subject as such, just 12 topics that we're meant to complete two parts of each week, using references etc. so no percentage total mark as such (maybe I just can't find them though). One is the set topic questions and the second is theory into practise section, where you're meant to show how it relates to your field of study. The subject is Brain Development in the Early Years.

God I hope that makes sense...seriously questioning my brain right now!

I think I'm going to watch the lecture videos and read heaps tomorrow/Monday. I feel ill...and here I was thinking I'd be resting on the weekends. I should go veg shopping tomorrow somewhere, I've got a pork roast out. Going by how I feel today, I'll be too sick to go anywhere, let alone eat!

[Birdy77]

It's important to eat healthy food, so I would encourage you to go vege shopping tomorrow.

Maybe tomorrow you could watch a lecture, then go shopping, and then relax in the afternoon. It's important to have balance.

Don't try to do too much in one day, you will end up exhausted and feeling defeated. Better to break it into smaller chunks over a few days. So maybe lecture tomorrow and some reading/note taking Monday, then try to bring some answers together around Tuesday and Wednesday., time to polish it off by the 27th.

If there are 12 topics broken into 2 parts each, each submission won't be worth a lot, so don't just a boiler over every part ... it will all pan out.

Do you have all the required readings ready to go? If so, you're doing well, probably way ahead of some other students. Try not to catastrophic, and we'll try to help you keep it in perspective.

[Birdy77]

I wish I remembered to proof read my posts.

I meant "bust a boiler" and "catastrophise"

[Music_Freak]

Got a tutorial activity about icebreakers due too. Just have to find one and answer some questions about it.

I think I might get up early tomorrow, do some reading and research, then force a walk in for vegies, when the shops open at 11...can't face driving after Thursday.

Hopefully a walk does me some good - I need all the help I can get!!