I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Music_Freak]

^^ That should say veer to the left...seems I don't know the difference between the two...geez

[Guest_322]

Hi Narelle,

I'm happy to hear that you're sticking it out with the writing. Maybe inspiration will strike when you least expect.

Sanding your table sounds like a workout! Very tiring...

Maybe it's less about your driving ability and more about your car requiring maintenance work. Expensive work...no wonder you're not keen for it.

Thanks, I've enjoyed spending time with friends. Went out on Saturday night and was out all day yesterday. Had some laughs and was given lots of chocolate.

Well, you certainly have BB friends. I like to think that I'm one of those friends 😊

Dottie x

[Croix]

Dear Narelle~

I guess you need to find out about the car, even if you have to budget to do it later. Unless it's something very obvious like a completely bald tyre on one side and a good one on the other you might need help. Do you have somewhere you can take it just to get it examined for now?

Actually you sound rather practical, sanding a table. Have you got to the staining stage yet? I found when doing something a bit repetitive like painting or sanding I could sometimes think of other things. Maybe you could about your writing?

What famous authors started with fan-fic? was JK Rowling one:)

I hope you find it good without family this Easter. Peaceful and no hassles

Croix

[Music_Freak]

I have heard that fifty shades of grey started as fan fic and also that the writing is terrible. I will probably never read it.

Sanding the table was a great workout and I did drift off and think about all sorts of things 🙂 My dad says it needs a sand with a machine so no stain and varnish yet, which makes me nervous being left raw but it's covered up with a sheet, so fingers crossed nothing awful happens before next weekend.

I'm not sure what to do with the car or if I'll drive it Wednesday when I have to go out. I've got so much to pay for and not enough money to do so...not having a job is horrid

[Music_Freak]

I'm not even sure if I mentioned this here or not but one or both of the hydraulic lifter thingys has gone in my car boot (I have a hatchback) so it's near impossible to use it because it keeps slamming shut!

Anyway, I just needed to vent 🙂

I've been keeping super busy during the easter and Anzac day weekends, along with the sanding the table, I'm putting Halestorm and Sixx:A.M. autographed stuff in frames and hanging it all, weeding and planting like a mad woman and tomorrow if the weather's OK I'll be cleaning/organising the garden shed and sewing curtains!!

It feels so good to be busy/productive!!!!

Next is maybe some writing and applying for jobs rather than telling fibs

[Croix]

Dear venting Narelle~

Sounds like you had a pretty good productive time. That's great.

When my Corolla hydraulic lifter thingys went I priced new ones from Toyota, when I got over the shock (hey that's a pun!) I found a bit of wood that propped it open - had to be careful not to trust it too much so it would not fall on my head/hand etc.

Listening to "This Is Gonna Hurt" at the moment, thanks for mentioning the group.

Far be it from me to say fibbing is a constructive art-form:)

Croix

[Guest_322]

Hi Narelle,

Venting is great. I recommend it. Very cathartic...I'm prone to my rants and whinges every so often so I hear ya...

Ah car troubles are the worst because that mostly means haemorrhaging money. Croix's tip is clever though.

It's good to hear you've been busy and getting a lot done. Go Narelle! Whoo! I bet the garden is looking good.

I have been thinking a lot. Then again, when am I not haha. I'm pretty bad even during the semesters but 10 times worse when I've more free time.

Been thinking of taking up some old hobbies and interests again. Often forget what it's like to just have fun and let down my hair when I feel bogged down by assessments and work.

Dottie x

[Music_Freak]

Awww, you two, you always reply here...thank you 🙂

I've found some of the boot lifter thingys (don't you just love my use of technical terminology!) for $40 & a 12 month warranty, so I might give them a go.

The garden looks OK, a bit dirty, but much greener than it was - hopefully the plants don't die on me, I have that affect on greenery!

Overthinking is the worst! What hobbies/interests are you wanting to take up again Dottie? (sorry if you'd already told me)

Croix, are you a Sixx:A.M. fan or just listening to them on my recommendation? If it's the latter, what do you think of them? I'm curious 🙂

[Guest_322]

Hi!

You're most welcome. I enjoy our chats and your most recent post made me smile 😊

$40 is a pretty good deal. The 12 month warranty is a good safety net. Reassuring...

Your garden sounds like it's coming along nicely. Dirty is good...dirty just means progress. I know lots of people find gardening carthatic so I wonder if that's the case for you as well.

Nah, I don't think I've mentioned it before. I was thinking creative pursuits. Time is often an issue with me (as in not enough of it haha)...anyway...I gave up dance (ballet, jazz and lyrical hip hop) for a while and want to get back into it.

Plus other creative pursuits like painting. I like all those things because they're self expressive. Liberating. Dance and painting have their own "language."

Dottie x

[Croix]

Dear Narelle~

I'm listening to them on your recommendation and enjoying it. I found they had a fair bit of range, from hard rock in This Is Gonna Hurt through to something a bit softer in Girl with the Golden Eyes. They remind me of Duce a bit.

Mind you it's all Dottie's fault, until that piano playing marvel came along I thought chopsticks was a set of eating implements:)

Seriously though I get a great deal of pleasure in listening to what others like here on the Forum, gives me an introduction to thinks I'd never hear otherwise.

Croix