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I'm really trying to feel better about myself
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I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...
I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.
My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"
My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!
I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land
I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...
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I often jump to a second post unintentionally. I just blame the computer:)
Everybody, myself particularly, has what you might call a 'screw up quotient'. People in movies (& Facebook I guess) never screw up so their quotient is 0%.
Mine's probably - no I'm not going to say - I'm embarrassed.
I've read your posts a lot. Your quotient is a LOT less than you think - particularly when you are being kind or acting without too much forethought.
Have a restful night.
Croix
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I didn't go volunteering again, I'm wondering if I should just give it up right now.
All I've managed to do today is cry and watch my ceiling fan.
I said I'd be in on Monday again...I need a plan to get me in there, my brain's empty right now about where to start
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Hi Narelle,
Sorry I haven't replied to your thread much this week. But I'm here now and what a rough day you've had. I can definitely empathise with wanting to lie in bed and fan watch.
A plan sounds good. How about writing something down. A list maybe? To figure out the nuts and bolts so you can make it to volunteering next week.
Dottie x
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I've got my clothes ready and will have a shower and make my lunch the night before, I'll have to pack a bag so I'm not taking a backpack too, but will do that over the weekend. I know what bus to catch and what time to leave home (I want to walk a bit so I'll be taking a change of shoes, so I'm not in sneakers).
I can't think of anything else. I actually feel a bit guilty for not going on Tuesday, so maybe I am turning a corner...slowly...
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I just went for a drive to get petrol and put air in the tyres and nearly drove through a red light at a main road intersection - luckily I had time to stop
Sometimes I wonder how I got my license...
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Hi Narelle,
I like you determined you sound. It's great that you have a plan in place. Hey, turning a corner is fantastic. Progress is progress and you're clearly heading in the right direction.
Oops...well, the plus is "nearly" means you didn't drive through the red light. Maybe you were just a bit distracted.
I have a busy weekend ahead of me with various plans...see how all that goes...
Hope you have a restful weekend!
Dottie x
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I'm beginning to freak a little about volunteering tomorrow, I'm just trying not to overthink it.
I have to ring up about a possible cleaning job and blood tests tomorrow, so I'll be a little late (30 mins-ish) into volunteering (because I have to ring up when I'd be on the bus).
It's all just turning me into a total wreck!!!
Also, I can't stop touching my stubbly head, the only problem with it is that it's shorter than I intended because the clipper guide slipped and it makes me feel a bit strange, like I'm overheating or something.
Anyway, I hope your weekend wasn't too stressful Dottie and the plans worked out. What did you end up doing? I did 4 loads of washing today, and I can't remember what I did yesterday
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Hi Narelle,
I was thinking of you just now. So here I am saying a cheery hello to you. I hope you are having a good day today?
Is this right....Do you sew?? I cannot remember if it was you or someone else on BB. Anyway if it is you, have you ever considered doing sewing for others at your home? You could possibly earn some income that way, doing something you like to do. I am aware of a men's clothing store that hires people that can sew. They sew up the hems on men's trousers etc. Or you could advertise on Gumtree and take in sewing jobs that way.
Shell xx
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Good Morning Narelle,
Hope it was all right to pop in. I just read that you were feeling like a bit of a wreak yesterday. I am sorry, I do hope you are or will feel calmer today.
Shell xx
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Thank you for popping in here Shelley, it's always nice to here from everyone here 🙂
I'm feeling OK today, I have to see someone about maybe getting a cleaning job tomorrow, but I'm not thst nervous. I guess I'm thinking nothing will come of it, so I don't stress.
I don't have to worry about going in to volunteer until the 4th, so that is helping the stress levels too.
I do sew but I'm not that good at it, so doing jobs may not be the best idea. I just do my clothes and stuff.
